Word of advice to retailers
Listen, fuckheads.
When you advertise that you are selling stuff at 50% off or 80% off or whatever, will you please be honest.
You are not doing it because the goods are fantastic.
You are not doing it because you like us.
Tell the truth.
You are doing it out of desperation because the creditors are bashing down your doors.
You are doing it because the kitty has dried up and you need some readies to at least pay some of the wages.
Next time you advertise a sale, don’t try and pretend that you are some kind of fucking Santa Clause.
Be honest.
Admit you have to dispose of any old shite to bring in a few bob to stave off the receivers.
We will appreciate your honesty.
We might even take pity and buy some of your old tat.
Honesty is always the best policy.
If a retailer can sell their wares at 1/2 off and still make money, what does that say about the regular prices and their style of doing business?
A Clearance sale is a bit more honest. Help us get rid of the old stuff so we can afford to buy the new stuff.
Back to school sales aren’t sales at all. It’s a dishonest pitch to get your wallet into their store.
Brianf – I often wondered at that myself. How can shops sell at a discount of 70% and still make money? Do they have a normal markup of over 70%?
Of course a lot of them have a couple of items at 70% as loss leaders, just to get us in there.
That’s it you see. They advertise 70% off and then when you want to pay, they tell you: ‘Oh not that one – that’s only 10% off – its got a red sticker’. Apparently ‘70% off’ items, have a green sticker. Dishonesty in this case is the best policy. Swap the stickers.
.-= >> Geri Atric´s latest brainfart .. THE WORLD IS OVER FULL =-.
Geri – Spot on [sic]. Never try and con a con artist?
I prefer ‘canny’ to con(ny). Oh dear, that was corny.
.-= >> Geri Atric´s latest brainfart .. THE WORLD IS OVERFULL =-.
I’m with Geri on the sticker swapping, well I would be if I attended the sales!!!
Retailers use the ‘From’ word to get out of a lot of shite…From 20% off…From 70% off
Ah, Grandad, your a real ball buster…Governments, prostitutes, retailers, you bust them all from the comfort of your manor house. Yet without laws, pimps, whores and businesspersons where would we be as a society ? Free, unfucked, unfulfilled at supper time ?…Come on, give the devils their due and celebrate what we have vs the thingys we dont have. With superior intellect comes responsibilities and yours is indeed illuminating in its pithy prouncements.
When I get a few bob ahead I’ll buy your book, probably from the remainder bin at 70% off and you will grouse on the unfairness of it all that your words are worth less the book on Gay Sex for Fun & Profit…if there is such a tome…In the tradition of Eliot (a fucking American poising as an Irishman) and Shaw, a very English critic and observer of his times, I must say that having your grousings arrive on my morning screen is a wake up call that gets my otherwise flacid fingers to tapping. Thanks, Pop’s.
As we old gold prospectors here in Arizona say, “Catch ya further up the creek.”
RWG
RWG – Prostitutes? Where did I mention prostitutes? I have a policy of not mixing business with pleasure, so I’ m sure I never mentioned them?
As a side note, my book was once spotted in the ‘gay and lesbian’ section of a bookshop, but that was in Cork. They tend to be a bit confused about everything in Cork.
Well over my years I’ve had a lot of fun with the lesbians. They found my dick to be a delight after the dildo’s they were use to.
The gay boys were more a sport, a distraction that made me muse, “What ta fuck are they after, whats the game ?” Ah but a stiff dick has no conscience but hot puss is a sight to be holding
If ya cant afford a wife, a prostitute will do and they are always open to negotiation, 70% off on an off day…Just like your shopkeepers the merchandise is fungable and subject to negotiation, and at the end of the day you can go on your way with no further responsibilities, eh ?
If a Lesbo from Cork came my way,
I’d show her the Grand Canyon and have her play,
a tune on my skin whistle, plum her depth,
to wonder on what god do we pray.
RWG
A fine idea, Grandad.
I love this. “Pity-shopping” could become a thing.
Sadly, when money and more of it is the ultimate goal, honesty could only ever be part of an overall vision-centred value-based integrated and incentivised strategy to deliver, going forward into the future.
RWG – You have certainly lived life to the full? Some day I must tell you about Bruno who was actually Brenda. No end of fun and games.
Stan – You have actually given me an idea for an article. I like to call them ‘articles’ as I still thing that a ‘blog’ sounds like something rich, warm and steamy that you would find on a pavement.
They have that type of thing down pat here in Newport “City” (more like a very small town ). They just hang a sign in the windows that states “Going out of business”. Sure draws in the customers…for awhile
The word “blog” has always sounded to me like something you do in a barnyard after it’s rained for a week or perhaps what you do in the cattle barn after the milking’s done for the day (I’m goin’ out ta’ blog out the stalls, Martha. If Hiram stops by tell ‘im I’m in the barn).
Kirk M – “Going out of Business” is fine. It’s honest, unless of course, they are just clearing out the tat. [“Sorry folks. We changed our mind. Come in and see our new lines”]
I’m waiting for the ultimate in honesty –
“Pre Fire Sale”
I think there have been one or two of those in Dublin already.
I look forward to it, Grandad. I know what you mean about the word “blog” – it could be a blend of “blob” and “bog” – but it doesn’t bother me, and it’s far too late to change it even if there was a general agreement to do so.