Herself just fired up her laptop.

We are posh here – she has one and I have one.  They both came off the same lorry.

“Yiz haven’t written anything today?” says she.

“No” says I, trying to have my afternoon nap in peace. “I have nothing to say.”

“Jayzus!” says Herself.  “That makes a change.”

Baseball bat – 1.

Frying pan – 0.