Uses for a guinea pig — 20 Comments

  1. They make a great replacement for a sponge when washing the car. Bring up a lovely shine and they dry quickly too.

  2. Robert – Excellent idea. I’ll give that a try, thanks. I’m always losing my car sponge, too.

  3. With careful adjustments to the amount of food, you can get their girth to match the inside diameter of various drain pipes. Simply insert, pushing with a stick if the fit is tight, then apply compressed air to force them through. Cleans the pipes very well. Some have suggested simply using a diet of bean and cabbages which will allow them to supply their own compressed gas. As an extra benefit the odor can be used to find leaks in the pipe.

  4. You could just implant a camera in her forehead and a wireless transmitter in her tail and… oops!

  5. Bock is an LC fan, send her to him with a supply of garden produce. And I’d say there’s still probably plenty of THC in her droppings afterwards, so you could come up with a new drug smuggling scheme, output being not readilly identifiable as illegal by the authorities, but with the definite possibility of being called “good shit” in all truth!

  6. Jim C – As Minnie eats nothing else but roughage, I’m surprised she hasn’t exploded by now. Come to think of it – I have never heard her fart [unless that’s what the squeaks are?]. I’ll bung her up a drainpipe and see what happens anyway.

    The CIA – Guinea pigs don’t have tails. Heh!

    Thrifty – That is a very interesting line of thought. There should be no restrictions on selling shit on the open market either [the farm up the road does it all the time]. Needs further investigation…….

  7. She is very useful, you just wrote a blog about her and got responses, perhaps your next book subject?

  8. Yeah well what use are humans?

    As a guinea pig “pet” I have to endure endless episodes of NCIS and American Idol on my owner’s TV, plus she babbles on the phone, has dramas with her hair, and her boyfriend snores.

    Am I missing something?

  9. Hi, Sighs, and welcome. What use are humans? Just tell me this – who is going to feed you? I love your site, by the way!

    *what the fuck am I doing writing to a guinea pig? I’m cracking!*

  10. That’s right sapien – I may be just a guinea pig – but at least I’m not crazy. As for the food – yeah like I am supposed to be so impressed when someone chucks a few leaves of lettuce at me – well thank you very fucking much – excuse me if I don’t pass you my Amex straight away with a fifty dollar tip. Geez!

    Anyway – glad you liked the blog! I aim to please.
    .-= >> sighs´s latest brainfart .. Billy the Bee goes psycho =-.

  11. So you don’t like lettuce, huh? What do you fancy? Caviar? A nice chunk of [vegetarian] fillet steak? Minnie sends her regards, and says that you are obviously suffering from cage fever. She suggests you try being nice for a change, and to stop taking side swipes at poor Dumb Fuck.

  12. I suppose you have a point. Or do you? Guinea pigs are sort of blunt at both ends…..

  13. @ Sighs, your owner has good taste. Lol I try not to miss a single episode of NCIS, but I usually do.
    I love your site, btw.

  14. Welcome Gwen!  A quick question for you – which site is it that you prefer? This one or Sighs’ one?  Be very careful how you anwer.

  15. But in response to your question. Guinea pigs are good pets. Love-able and social, and often loud, but still nice companions.

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