For a week or so, I have been considering suing Google.
Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and started making out my case.
My case is very simple – they have gone and photographed my house again, and once again they didn’t warn me beforehand. As a result, the lawn looks shabby; my special crop of tobacco is there for all to see and worst of all, Herself had just hung her knickers out to dry. So I am suing them for breach of privacy and publication of obscene material.
Imaging my surprise then when I got a letter in the post, giving me the latest progress on my class action against Google.
I know that a class action is when a lot of people gang up together to sue someone for a common complaint. I have seen ‘Erin Brockovich’. So had my neighbours all been complaining about the knickers too? I can’t say I would blame them. It is a pretty horrendous sight.
But it transpired that this class action was over Google robbing the contents of books and publishing copyright material on the Interweb. So apparently myself and Stephen King and a few other of the lads were bringing Google to court. Nice one.
I rang the people who sent me the letter to ask when I was getting my millions. They said there had been a little mistake, and that a settlement had been reached a couple of days before my book was published and therefore the settlement didn’t apply to me. Bollox.
But they then went on to say that apparently My People are still suing Google’s People in an ongoing case. Brilliant.
I wonder what I will do with the millions when I win?
I must post Herself’s knickers over to the case as additional evidence.
I’ll have to label them as ‘Toxic Waste’.