No doubt you are all aware that another of those days designed to make men miserable is fast approaching?
I refer, of course to Valentine’s Day.
Like wedding anniversaries, this is a day full of pitfalls due to the ridiculous commercial hype that has brainwashed the world. It is a day when women expect the world to lavish them with expensive gifts and too much attention. It is a day when men lose, as their best is never good enough.
I decided to “celebrate” the occasion early, as most businesses fill fleece you on the day itself.
I told Herself yesterday that I had booked the Honeymoon Suite in a posh hotel the other side of the county.
She was delighted of course and went off and packed six suitcases for the night.
We piled all the luggage in the car and headed off yesterday afternoon.
We got as far as the Wicklow Gap, and of course got stuck in the snow.
Herself was very disappointed and started complaining that she was cold and hungry.
I wasn’t disappointed because I had more than a shrewd idea that this would happen.
In fact, I had packed a couple of blankets, a couple of door-stop hang sangwiches, a half bottle of vodka, a litre of whiskey and a paraffin stove. I wasn’t in the Boy Scouts for nothing, you know.
We had a grand night, with the seats in the car let back. The paraffin stove was a bit smelly but the drink went down a treat. Herself actually got quite frisky after the vodka.
She was delighted with herself, and of course with me for being so romantically inclined. After all, I wasn’t responsible for the snow?
Cost of hotel – nil. [Actually, I never bothered booking in the first place]
Cost of trip – €10 or thereabouts.
Brownie Points earned – unlimited.