Tools of the trade — 23 Comments

  1. The lump hammer is an amazingly versatile tool. I can’t count the times it repaired my starter motor.

  2. I won’t list the things (and people) I’ve tried to fix with a lump hammer, but congratulations on getting back on signal! You won’t want to be missing the Late Late again, y’know…

  3. Bock – My last car has a starter gear that kept jamming. The poor old motor ended up looking like an old baked bean can!

    Thrifty – Don’t confuse me with all that azimuth shite. The lump hammer did a good job.

  4. Susan – That isn’t a bad idea. I must call into RTE on Friday and fix The Plank with my trusty hammer……

  5. The ‘Hammer of the Gods’ indeed. I believe NASA have a set of three beautifully chromed lump hammers they send up with the shuttle for when the hatches/toilet lid/crisps-in-vending machine get stuck.

  6. Hitting it with a hammer! Why do that? could you find some proper to hit it with like a big wrench (spanner for those whose who are language impoverished).

  7. Hoor – Could you please waych your language? NASA do not refer to it as a ‘hatch’. It’s an ‘ingress/egress facility’.

    Jim C – I gave two tools that cover all eventualities – my lump hammer and my ViceGrips. The lump hammer wais the one appropriate for the job.

  8. Shhh, keep it quiet!! No-one will ever buy a satellite meter again if you go around telling your tales of daring-do.

  9. DAS – OK. I fix it with a lump hammer that costs under a tenner. You flog meters costing £600 to do the same job. Your meter only aligns dishes whereas my lumphammer can also fix cars, errant wives, and a load of other things. I don’t think there is an argument there?

    Give us a free satellite setup and I’ll restore your link! 😉 *heh*

  10. With a strong enough arm a satellite meter can do all the above. Albeit you may need to replace it sooner than your lump hammer! But if our guys went round to Mrs Miggins’ house and started bashing lumps out of her dish, it probably wouldn’t look too good.

    (apologies for the link – just filled the field out blindly)

  11. DAS – But my lump hammer can fix Mrs Miggins’ complaints too? I’m sure Mr Miggins would love the peace and quiet of widowerhood.

    That’s OK about the link, but I do get some chancers in here.

  12. The medicinal benefits of yer common or garden lump hammer are much underestimated, t’is true. But Mrs Miggins, whilst all a bit and peace quiet, has gone on record as saying that she is none-too-keen on be-overalled men mooching around her house with a well-used hammer. A lovely, refined young man, resplendent with shiny satellite meter is far more her cup of tea.

  13. Used the same technique to align my sister’s dish a couple times myself. Helps to have someone watching the screen and yelling when the pic’s clear though.

    I also belong to the “whapping the starter” club and even had one hanging on the side of an early 70’s main frame computer for booting purposes. The thing had a couple hundred relays that had to fire up in the correct sequence to boot the damn thing up and they tended to get stuck every now and then.

    And even my old submarine had several stored in various places throughout the boat since certain pieces of equipment needed a good lumping now and then.

  14. DAS – You have been suckered by the “it’s all in the appearence” brigade. Why not wear a fancy suit, carry an empty tin box with a nice dial fixed to it, and a lump hammer?

    Kirk M – I don’t have the luxury of someone to yell at me. Well, actually, I do but not about satellite dishes. I just walloped and nipped back to look at the screen each time. It took about five wallops and the job was OXO. Why am I a little concerned at the thought of fixing a nuclear missile submarine with lump hammers?

  15. Stick up the old wind turbine …. at least the ill wind will blow you some good luck!

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  17. Love it. Does anyone remember the No. 1. P+T service-cut-off; No. 2. then- get-back-connected manoeuvre about 20 years ago in Dublin suburbs? It involved a lad on a ladder on the roof and the promise of a few pints in return as far as I remember [from my cot of course….].

  18. Paddy – It would only blow down!

    RhodesTer – It’s a two pound lump of steel on the end of a handle. When it comes to advanced technology, you Americans are way behind us. *sigh*

    SHoop – What about the good old days of the “piped telly”? Probably way before your time. That involved a lot of ladders and lads on roofs. It also involved a lot of pints.

  19. Ahh! Piped Telly. RTE 1 started in the middle of the day with Calamity Jane, How the West was Won, The Good the Bad and the Ugly….The Hustler…..and other such greats. RTE 2 kicked off in 1979 at 6pm with an hour of prayer to some bloke with a shiny gold hat, then something other than spaghetti westerns. All observed from my cot, I add.

  20. You’re a primitive!

    We have precision tools for aligning our dish – a school protractor and a screwdriver.

    (I can never figure why people pay for satellite/cable when most of the stuff they watch is free to air anyway)

  21. Wait a moment! Is not an Egress a small wading bird indigenous to North Africa? As in:
    “What are you doing with that incubator?”
    “I’m going to hatch an Egress.”

  22. And Ingres was a French portrait painter from Montauban which, by happy coincidence, is where Munster secured a resounding Heineken Cup victory last weekend.

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