We suffer a lot from wind, up in the mountains.
I’m not necessarily talking about flatulence, as we can suffer from that anywhere.
Down at city level, when there is a strong wind the worst you may experience is that your bins blow over. Up here, it’s not unknown for the bins to end up in the next parish.
We have a lot of trees here, and every now and then, one of them gets blown over. It’s very handy for thinning out the weaker trees, and it also thins out the neighbours fleet of cars if the trees happen to fall that way. One good winter storm can provide us with enough wood for a year and it benefits the local car sales.
Of course the wind can damage other things apart from trees.
A couple of nights ago, Herself wanted to watch something on BBC television. She switched on the set and changed channels. The BBC channel was beautiful – it was a psychedelic pattern of luminous colours that undulated gently across the screen. We tried all the BBC channels and every one was the same. As every other channel was working perfectly, I assumed the BBC had something wrong with their transmitters and told Herself to read a book instead.
Last night, there was something else she wanted to watch on BBC. Reception was still the same shimmering mass of colour, which didn’t please Herself. It surprised me because I thought they would have fixed it by then. I mad a phone call or two and found that everyone else was OK and it was just in this house.
I made the bold assumption that the BBC weren’t picking on me in particular and went off to see what was wrong.
I soon found the problem.
The fucking wind had blown the satellite dish off line.
Alignment of satellite dishes is a very precise matter. The dish has to point to a tiny satellite that is 22,000 miles away, so there is no margin for error at all. To align a dish, you need highly specialised equipment.
So I gave the dish a wallop with a lump hammer.
It worked, and Herself was happy.
It’s amazing what a lump hammer can fix?