I am saving the world
Any day now Herself is going to start nagging me about decorating the house.
This usually involves going out to the field and hacking down a few bushes and dragging them indoors. Fun, but messy.
Then there are the lights.
Those lights have it in for me. I hate the fucking things.
And if anyone mentions the word “Scrooge” I’ll ram a fistful of holly up their arse.
Every year I spend about three hours untangling them because they always manage to wrap themselves into knots, no matter how neatly I pack them.
Having untangled them, I string them out along the floor to test them.
Why is it that a set that was working perfectly last year always fails to work this year?
Naturally, the bastards who make the things use different bulbs for each set, so that any spares that I do have never fit.
Every year, I know I am going to have problems, so just to be on the safe side, I buy a new set.
We now have about ten sets of lights at this stage and, while I haven’t unpacked them yet, I know they won’t work. Of course I bought a spare set just in case, so I assume that one will be OK.
Nobody mentioned if Gormless was banning Christmas lights. It is the kind of idiotic thing he would do. China and America can pump a zillion tons of gas into the atmosphere, but not lighting my little 12V bulbs can save the world from destruction?
Ah!
When herself starts moaning about the Christmas decorations, I’ll tell I can’t put them up.
If I light my Christmas lights, then the Maldives will vanish beneath the waves.
We can’t have that?
My house is fairylit all year round – it just gets worse at Christmas – you could try using solar ones I suppose they don’t seem to fall apart as easily as some….. Enjoy Ebeneezer!!!!!
I wish I’d read your Maldives excuse before pulling out all our lights. I plugged the first string in, nothing happened (the usual!), so I picked up the string to find out why.
BARE LIVE WIRES was why they didn’t work, and now my hand doesn’t either! Christmas lights are definitely the work of the Anti-Santa.
MERRY CHRISTMAS Grandad! …and happy decorating!
Kate – One fistful of holly on its way……….
Susan – That is a shocking experience! Use candles everywhere. They are safer. And a Very Merry Christmas to you too.
Now is that fair Grandad? I didn’t mention the ‘s’ word… you are a grumpy elf these days!!
Go-on post a picture of your Christmas tree!!!!
Nollaig faoi shéan is faoi shona dhuit.
dang, i know i’ve been reading in the reader for awhile and haven’t actually been here but dangit, clicked on comments to leave one and CRASH! methinks you have your computer trained to not let outsiders in 🙂
Anyway, just making the rounds to wish you and yours a happy holiday!
I’m having a laugh here about the lights. Darn things are all the same, no matter what country you live in! I’m surprised they haven’t come up with a solution with all the high tech things we live with now. At least you oblige and put up the tree and lights. I do it all on my own. My children get to decorate it and I do all the manual labour! You are a good husband methinks..
Anyway, once it’s all up take a pic and share the cheer with us all. have a glass of guinness while you’re doing it, it helps… 🙂
will ya g’wan and show us a pic or 2 of the sparkly tree and the strings of twinkly lights and the armloads of holly elegantly scattered around the manor…. g’wan, you know you want to……..
The Guinness is a good idea.
As for photographs – do none of yiz read what I have written? I haven’t started yet!! Maybe tomorrow or the next day? There is nothing to photograph until then, and even then I probably won’t bother.
Prin – It is a well known fact that computers have to visit this site regularly or they get rusty and don’t work properly. My advice is to visit Head Rambles at least once a day, to keep your PC well oiled.
Brianf – 和圣诞快乐，也给你
Putting up decorations, lights, decorating in general. All women’s work. You should be ashamed.
Fuckit, you’re right, TT [as usual].
I’m off to the pub.
I’ve got pink fairy lights in the kitchen, red in the lounge, blue flashing ones up the bannisters and two sets of white ones on the tree.
Oh, and white flashing ones all across the front of the house, white stars hanging in the windows and red ones outside on the fir tree.
And my Hubby’s not speaking to me AT ALL after spending ages winding rope lights all around the hall, then finding they don’t work.
Have a wondrous Chrimbo, Hairy One…(or should I just call you Grinch). Love to you and yours! xx
Yep, same here . . about 10kms of last year’s outdoor lights decided to pop their clogs. Fortunately Babybro had ample supplies and we’re now festooned. Actually they don’t use much power at all. We leave our white fairly lights up all year too . .Christmas just isn’t – without a little illumination! Have a good one grumpydrawers!
At NaRocRoc central we’ve had the lights up since the first of December at the behest of her indoors. Gotten so used to them now they feel like part of the furniture. Might just leave them up for the year.
Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children?
Puppychild loves squashing lightbulbs. Give her an old set and a garden shredder for Christmas and she’ll be set. Laughingboy would totally dig the noise of that, too.
Sorted.
lights are so last century. Today you need 3 meter diameter inflatable globes powered by dual 10 amp blowers. Draws far more current generated by burning dirty coal.
The only decorative thing I miss is Holly. I love Holly, even saying it is jolly, jolly holly,the spikey leaves and the gorgeous red berries, and it just dosen’t grow in Canada. Why is that? We don’t have Shamrock either, but that’s another story. Loads of mistletoe if anyone wants to trade? I miss my holly.
Yiz are all MAD. Crimbo doesn’t start until the 24th, and lasts for 12 days [anyone heard the song?!]. If you put up your lights too early, you just get bored with them. And all the bulbs blow.
Paulo – I have tons of holly with berries. For some reason, the birds didn’t strip all the berries off this year. I am also overgrown with ivy, if anyone wants a ton or two? No mistletoe though. It was banned from here after it got me into severe trouble with Herself [a little incident with a local girl *heh*]
OK with that last line, you are redeemed.