What is this obsession in the meeja with the word ‘perfect’?
Throughout the year it crops up regularly, mostly in connection with weddings.
I have seen a number of programmes in the past few months where people [mostly the brides] are searching for the ‘perfect’ day. Why can’t they just strive to have a happy day, or a really memorable day, and if something goes wrong then it’s all part of the experience?
For the past few weeks, of course, we are being told how to have the ‘perfect’ Christmas.
Here, we sink from the sublime to the ridiculous.
I have been informed that I won’t have a ‘perfect’ Christmas if I don’t have a new leather five seater couch.
I have been informed that I won’t have a ‘perfect’ Christmas unless I am wearing some grossly overpriced perfume. [What’s wrong with sweat?]
I have been told that the ‘perfect’ Christmas present is a voucher to some tacky takeaway food hole.
I have even been told that my Christmas will be utterly destroyed and will be an unmitigated disaster if I don’t have the latest mobile phone?
What is wrong with these people? What kind of pathetic world do they inhabit? Why can’t they say that it would be nice for us if we had a new hardwood floor laid, but that Christmas would still be a happy occasion if we stuck with the threadbare carpet?
If my Christmas turns out to be a bit of a flop, I suppose I am going to have to examine my conscience? Was it because I didn’t install that swimming pool in the garden? Was it because I really should have bought that flat screen television that would have required an extension to the house because it was so big?
Nah! If my Christmas turns out to be a flop, it will be because I ran out of booze, or the relations that I can’t stand insisted on calling around and staring at us for the evening. The advertisements don’t tell you how to cope with those things.
I know what would push my Christmas a long way towards perfection though….
If all those tacky advertising people crawled back under the rocks from whence they came.
That would be perfect.