Perfection
What is this obsession in the meeja with the word ‘perfect’?
Throughout the year it crops up regularly, mostly in connection with weddings.
I have seen a number of programmes in the past few months where people [mostly the brides] are searching for the ‘perfect’ day. Why can’t they just strive to have a happy day, or a really memorable day, and if something goes wrong then it’s all part of the experience?
For the past few weeks, of course, we are being told how to have the ‘perfect’ Christmas.
Here, we sink from the sublime to the ridiculous.
I have been informed that I won’t have a ‘perfect’ Christmas if I don’t have a new leather five seater couch.
I have been informed that I won’t have a ‘perfect’ Christmas unless I am wearing some grossly overpriced perfume. [What’s wrong with sweat?]
I have been told that the ‘perfect’ Christmas present is a voucher to some tacky takeaway food hole.
I have even been told that my Christmas will be utterly destroyed and will be an unmitigated disaster if I don’t have the latest mobile phone?
What is wrong with these people? What kind of pathetic world do they inhabit? Why can’t they say that it would be nice for us if we had a new hardwood floor laid, but that Christmas would still be a happy occasion if we stuck with the threadbare carpet?
If my Christmas turns out to be a bit of a flop, I suppose I am going to have to examine my conscience? Was it because I didn’t install that swimming pool in the garden? Was it because I really should have bought that flat screen television that would have required an extension to the house because it was so big?
Nah! If my Christmas turns out to be a flop, it will be because I ran out of booze, or the relations that I can’t stand insisted on calling around and staring at us for the evening. The advertisements don’t tell you how to cope with those things.
I know what would push my Christmas a long way towards perfection though….
If all those tacky advertising people crawled back under the rocks from whence they came.
Yes.
That would be perfect.
Spot on good sir, well said.
I hear Christmas is non-smoking now though?
No smoking? No fucking way…..
aaaaaMEN.
Sure we never get everything we hoped for, nor everything that was advertised at us; that’s what the rum punch is for, to fix EVERYTHING, and for something to blame later, when we tell our sister just exactly precisely what we think of her, and how she completely ruined that Christmas in 1993…yeah, you know the one baby…*sluurrrrp* And ANOTHER thing…*sllurrrrppp*
Now that you mention it, I can’t wait. I LOVE Christmas!!
But what could rhey legally advertise to help you deal with the staring guest problem?
Susan – I take it you just intend to drink yourself under the table again?
Jo – Don’t worry. They don’t need to advertise anything for that. I have my own supplies. Anyway, I make a point of ignoring all advertisements.
It would be perfect for me if it lasted just the three days. It seems to last longer than an American election. I said eLection!
mmm perfection – I don’t think I have ever known quite what it meant … different things to different people I suppose.
I’ll just go for happiness – it’s easier to achieve!
TT – I’d be a bit more liberal than three days? I’d give it the traditional twelve – 25th December to 6th January. And I know you said ‘election’. Something you have before bleakfast?
Kate – It’s an ad-mans invention to instill yet more dissatisfaction in the Great Unwashed. Ad-men, politicians and bankers are directly responsible for the mess we are in now.
I try not to think about all that – it would make me angry and bring on wrinkles and frown lines and then I would need all sorts of things to make me ‘perfect’ soooo I am not going to let them get to me – I have managed thus far…..long may it continue!
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Ah, the perfect Christmas, or is it Xmas now, rant.
RhodesTer – That is the perfect non-comment.
Jim C – It is the Wedon’twanttooffendanybodymidwinter Holiday?
Bet you will be wearing that ‘perfect’ [erfume though, you sound the type …..
Perfect … how dull would that be !
I’m sure your Christmas will be perfect Grandad! What with the way you view life, you’ll soon be finding something to occupy and amuse yourself with (and us!) on Christmas morn’.
As for my own Christmas, I’ll just be content not to snap another rib…(!). It’s a long story. Peep in on me, if you like – but cross yourself first, I’ve uploaded a photo of my present predicament (and beauty queen I aint).
Cheers!
Crikey Grandad, what happened to my comment above?
I’ll try again:
I’m sure your Christmas will be perfect Grandad! What with the way you view life, you’ll soon be finding something to occupy and amuse yourself with (and us!) on Christmas morn’.
As for my own Christmas, I’ll just be content not to snap another rib…(!). It’s a long story. Peep in on me, if you like – but cross yourself first, I’ve uploaded a photo of my present predicament (and beauty queen I aint)!
Cheers!
Yikes! Now the first comment has suddenly come right. I swear it printed itself as an unreadable mass of 20%s and ‘undefined’……
I think it must be all the medicine I’m on.
Oh heck.
Moon – I have never worn perfume in my life, apart from accidentally picking up some through “close contact”. Herself has a great sense of smell, damnit!
Geri – Welcome back! Cracked ribs? Aggghhh!! I broke four myself once [on Christmas Day as it happens], and it is the most painful thing. You have my deepest sympathies 🙂
As for amusing you all on Christmas morn’? Dream on…..
Geri – Hello again. Nothing happened to your comment.
Geri – Hmmmm. Yes. It’s the meds.
“See what happens. Thanks Grandad” was what I wrote the other day when the same thing happened to my comment. Before it corrected itself. So there’s something going on. I just thought it was connected to my trying to download that site.
TT – Strange. I haven’t noticed anything. I’d blame the CIA, but Geri is in the Netherlands. I’ll open the bonnet [sorry – hood!] and whack the server with a hammer…?