To sleep, perchance to hibernate
I hope yiz are not sitting around waiting for some great pearl of wisdom from Grandad today?
I’m busy, and don’t have time for this kind of nonsense.
You see, I have a bit of a problem here.
Many years ago, a bloke built a computer for me. It was a huge yoke and for it’s time, it was top of the range. Of course, time has moved on and my laptop is more powerful than the old PC.
Nevertheless, the old desktop machine has its uses. It sits there in my office humming away. I leave the kettle on top of it to keep the water hot. I toast sandwiches in the CD drive occasionally.
I can’t switch it off, because the printer is attached to it. [They deny any kind of relationship, but I know they are very attached]. Also, I use it as file storage, because it has half a terrabyte of storage [or that’s what the bloke told me when he built it].
Like myself, it is getting old. It used to have a great sound system that could make dogs howl half a mile away, but the sound card went up in smoke. I can live with that.
Now it has started to do strange things.
For a start, I can’t put it to sleep.I’m not trying to euthanise it – I just want to be able to depower it without losing everything.
Normally, I would just click on Stand By or Hibernate, but those options don’t exist any more. I don’t know where they went. I looked on the floor underneath, but there is no sign of them anywhere.
I’m trying to fix it now.
I took a copy of the button on my laptop, and pasted it onto the screen of the old PC. That doesn’t work.
I have tried talking nicely to it.
I have tried being assertive with it.
I tried reading Winnie the Pooh to it, because that used to send our K8 to sleep.
I had a look in Google and it suggested something about restoring the PC to an earlier time, so I put the clock back by a year. Now it just complains that the time is wrong.
Frankly, I’m getting a bit annoyed with it.
And if I do get it fixed, I am having problems with my little network.
The network says Herself doesn’t exist.
Maybe I won’t bother fixing that?
Now thats a picture to think about – Grandad sitting reading Winnie the Pooh to his computer!!! Aah
By any chance did you name it HAL?
Sounds like my old desktop (mid-tower actually) with the single exception that it’s the only PC I got therefore I have no choice but to keep it on permanent life support even though I should have probably pulled the plug months ago.
The wireless connection goes away at random periods of time and I have to have my wife’s PC talk nice to it, it whines loudly on various occasions which is only solved by giving it a swift kick, my defrag software has sued for divorce and I have mice living in the available drive bay.
And although I can put mine to sleep I don’t dare…it might never wake up. Sounds like our respective desktops might be mates.
I tried to donate my old desktop to the charity that gives computers to disadvantaged African orphans, but they said it was too out-of-date. So I gave it to my kids…it’s their problem now.
Your PC & printer sound like my wsher and dryer–they live and die together. Drives me nuts.
I have a similar problem with my 5+ yr old, except it has a problem waking up.
Problem with a total refresh is loading all those patches and service packs, and convincing Mickysoft it’s genuine 😉
Kate – I bet you talk to your car? What’s the difference?
Kirk M – “it whines loudly on various occasions which is only solved by giving it a swift kick” That is no way to treat your wife. My network is great except that it refuses to see Herself’s laptop.
Susan – Things are bad when charities turn up their noses. I tend to just hold onto things until they vanish in a ball of flame. I’m expecting that to happen to the PC anyday.
Neighbour – Why do we have to convince Mickysoft that it’s genuine? I know it’s genuine. You know it’s genuine. They can fuck off.
You’re right – I do talk in my car – but not to it – thats where I learn my Spanish – PJ Picanto speaks and I listen!!! Whatever lights your candle eh???
Well, Grandad, computers have their personalities as well as we do.
In the early days, when they were still very large and quite rare, the German word for a computer was “Elektronengehirn”, which means in English literally “electronic brain”.
German is a very precise and descriptive language, and I think they got that one right. Meanwhile the Germans have been so Americanised and internationalised that they also use the word “computer” as we do.
But ever so often, when one of my electronic friends does things on his own that I do not understand and for which there is no explanation as such, I remember the old German word. It gives one a lot to think…
P.S. Have you tried to befriend your old computer with a cat? My cat appears to be very fond of my older Apple Macintosh and likes to rest on top of it. She does however not go near the new one, which is in use most of the time.
Grandad,
Have tried greasing the SQL valves or loosening the sATA connector rods. I think the spec clearance for those rods are someting in the vicinity of .0032. As you know most folks keep there sATA rods too tight. You might also wish to look at getting the floppy drive stiffened up or just increasing the RAM drive.
I had great luck when I recovered all the CSS links with a nice seude, though I did have to rename all the perl scripts at the same time.
I reckon yer problem is with the sandwich toaster bit – you need to de-crumb it. I try to do that regularly with my computer, bits of burnt crumbs cause all sorts of upsets to delicate hardware that no amount of nice talking with sort out.
Kate – I bet you yell obscenities at other drivers too?
Emerald – In this house [and land] we have a dog, a guinea pig, a heron, a squirrel and a hedgehog or two. No cats though. I’ll try sitting the guinea pig on it?
Brianf – I tried everything. I have buffed my RS232. I soaked the CPU in WD40 overnight. I even hammered out a few dents in the hard drive. You have given me one idea though – I’ll make it a Perl necklace?
Charmed – I tried de-crumbing. I held it upside down and shook it vigorously but the only thing that fell out was a dead mouse.
solo en espanol mi amigo!!!! Muy divertido!!!
Give it a kick up the rear?
My PC is now working perfectly.
I took the side panel off, and it was full of fluff, dead spiders and an empty wine bottle from a party back in 2001. I took it out into the garden and gave it a thorough hosing and it’s running like the clappers ever since.