Joke of the year?
Is the government having a laugh?
The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that we are the subject of a Dail Bar bet.
Picture the scene: The Dail Bar a few months ago……
Biffo: Hey lads! I have a great idea. Lets open a book on how low we can bring our ratings.
Martin: How do we go about it?
Biffo: For a start, we’ll hold an early budget. This sounds like a laugh, and I can’t wait until the end of the year.
Coughlan: You won’t lose many points on a budget. Those fuckers out there are used to budgets and rising taxes.
Ahern: I have an idea. Lets hit the elderly and the school kids? That should drop us a few points?
Biffo: Brilliant! Let’s take away the medical cards and increase class sizes. Any more ideas?
Harney: I could withdraw the cervical cancer vaccination? That should wind ‘em up good and proper?
Biffo: Good thinking. I like your style. We can leak out about a few more of your cancer diagnosis errors too.
Harney: Not all of them though. We want to keep a few in reserve.
Ahern: Let’s introduce a new income tax and hit everyone, even down to the lowest paid?
Biffo: Brilliant. Jesus, but this is going to be fucking class! I’m laying €500 we’ll be down to single figures by December.
A couple of months later….
Biffo: We’re doing real well, but we can do better. We rightly pissed ‘em off with the budget. Did you see those old wrinklies out there on their Zimmer frames? I haven’t laughed so much in years.
Coughlan: We are still in double figures though, and it’s only a couple of weeks until December.
Biffo: Shit! We have to come up with something else.
Martin: I was thinking about that. How about having another Lisbon referendum?
Biffo: That is a stroke of real genius! Set the ball rolling.
Coughlan: Hold on. This is a great laugh, but aren’t we going to lose the next election because of it?
Biffo: Are ya mad? A month before the election, we’ll suddenly ‘find’ those billions we salted away and give the fuckers a small tax break. They’ll forgive us and forget all about this game.
Harney: You’re right. I’m off to fuck up a few more hospitals.
Biffo: Good girl.
Lol. It’s funny because it’s entirely credible. Especially the bit where they’ll throw in a sweetner before the next election, and dopey old Ireland will go for it again as usual.
It’s the best explanation I’ve heard yet, for what we’ve put up with lately. Scary that it makes that much sense…. ?!
Very funny ….
Terence, that’s what every political party in government does all the time, and it isn’t confined to ‘dopey old Ireland’
Still, to paraphrase Churchill, democracy is a terrible way to run a country, until one considers the alternatives
Terence – I’ll have a counter bet here – €500 that the government will drop some kind of sweetener before the local elections?
Susan – It’s about the only thing that would make sense. It’s either a joke, or That Lot are the greatest bunch of idiots going?
Tony S – Welcome! It’s always nice to see new faces around.
It would be funny if it didn’t sound so feckin’ likely. It would explain a lot.
You should start making a web-comic about the reality behind the scenes in the Dail 🙂
Darren – Damnit! I’m begining to believe my own stories… 🙁
TheChrisD – The only thing I can draw well is Social Security.
Good one! – Don’t forget the introduction of University fees & increase in VAT
Ireland and Aus are more alike than I thought. We had tax cuts in June but they didn’t cover rising expenditure and anyone on ‘any’ pension will get a flat $1000 before Christmas to encourage consumer spending. I miss out but I’d have put it on my credit card anyway.
brilliant big guy. in scotland they would cut the heating allowance, increase the prescription rates and raise oil and cigarette taxes. it would be done b an expensive think tank/quango who would gleefully spend time and money doing nothing as normal!!! my local council spent £250,000 paving half a street in granite from china. do u think they need any help to spend my money??
Sounds like you have been there yourself, Grandad. Or perhaps you have a specially trained fly on the wall of the Dail bar, one with a tiny microphone attached?
I have to meet some of these people from time to time, in the line of my work. And I can assure you that they are a lot worse in reality than they come across on TV and radio.
For the past 15 years I have been asking myself why it is that the Irish people send the most useless and incompetent people into parliament. There are some duds in other parliaments as well, but most nations still have some pride and some really capable people in their parliament and political system.
As we have plenty of bright people in this country, too, it really beats me why none of them are in politics. I don’t want to sound unpatriotic, but about 80% of our TDs are complete idiots and not capable of anything worth mentioning. However, it’s not really their fault that they are there. It is the fault of those who elect them.
And, as some wise old philosopher said more than 2000 years ago: “Every country has the government it deserves.”
Personally I had another thought recently. Could it be that the whole government has entered into a collective suicide pact?
Most people might not remember Jonestown (Guyana), but that was only 30 years ago and I remember the headlines very well.
But whatever happens, anyone who votes in future for Fianna Fail or the Green Party deserves to be taken out and beaten with a stick three times a day.