↓
 

Morning Glory

Head Rambles Posted on by

“You write the most boring things,” said Herself as she browsed this site last night.

“Do I?” I was pretending to pick my nose.  That always annoys her.

“Look at this shite about the budget.  That’s boring.  People will stop reading.”

“Will they?” I was trying unsuccessfully to do a crossword and the interruptions were irritating me.

“Conversations with your computer?  That’s childish.  Pish!”

A four letter word for a woman.  I had _UNT so far, and I was stuck.

“People don’t want to read the kind of shite you are writing.”

“You could be right.”  There was a fly walking over my crossword and that was annoying me too.  “What would you suggest I write about then?”

“A couple of months ago, you wrote about Jean Claude.   That was interesting.”

jean_claude1

“No it wasn’t.  It was boring.”

“It was exactly the kind of thing people want to read.  Tell them more about it.  I’m sure they are dying to know.”

“People couldn’t care less about a fucking pot plant.  What the hell am I supposed to say about it?”

“You could tell them how you had to add a longer stake for it to grow up, and then had to tie string to the ceiling because the stake still wasn’t long enough?”

jean_claude2

“Jayzus!  I’ll give John Grisham a buzz and tell him about it.  I’m sure that would make a great plot for his next novel.”

“You could tell them how it grew across the top of the door and started flowering?”

jean_claude3jean_claude2a

“Fuck, woman!  We’d have coach loads calling out wanting to see it.”

“There is no need to be sarcastic.  I think it would be nice.  It’s the kind of thing people want to read about.”

“People couldn’t give a flying fuck about a plant.”  Crossword inspiration hit, and I wrote in AUNT.

“Write about it.”

“No.  It’s BORING.”

 

Comments

Morning Glory — 21 Comments

  1. Oh you made me smile when I needed it so badly: AUNT, clever you. and congratulations on your morning glory in bondage, i’ve never seen one tied with a string to the ceiling.

    I might even smile the next time Himself stands picking his nose while I’m trying to have a conversation with him.

    MIGHT.

  4. Watch out for those plants, they’ll eat your dog and suck you dry of all your blood. I saw a documentary called “The Little Shop of Horrors” about that once.

    Scary.

    Catchy tunes though.

  5. Susan – String was the only way of tying it up. It shot up the bamboo stakes and started snaking arount at the top. I tied the string to shut it up.

    Charmed – “tell herself I said that” I will in my arse. I’m not going to encourage her.

    Kate – I will admit it’s not bad for a miniscule two year old seed that had come all the way from France. I thought it was dead when I planted it.

    Maxi – Ahhh! The Little Shop of Horrors…. “Feeeeed Meee!!”

  6. A couple of years from now we will gaze over the green mound covered with blue flowers and say “Grandad’s house used to be there”.

  7. I would use the letter P.I enter my punt,and poled away from that women.Or here in the states,She makes me want to punt her over the field goal.

  8. geez, he reminds me of seymore, this rhododendron i gave diluted human vitamins to… once… because he wouldn’t grow. he grew alright, all over the house, the wall, the balcony…i cut huge chunks from him and gave them away, he procreated everyone’s home that i gave him to in much the same way. i finally had to give him away…still he haunts me, 35 years later…

  9. at least you can trust a plant to be exactly what it is with no back talk, criticism, sighing, rolling of the eyes, making you look the fool, etc, etc, keep ’em coming GD, the only thing boring is thinking that you are boring, stop it!

  11. I gave a friend who is big into horticulture a packet of the Morning Glory seeds and she failed to produce even one little Jean Claude! K8 failed miserably too! We should get some kind of an award ?

  12. Jim C – It will be perfect camouflage from your damned spy satellites 😉

    Popyeyemoon – What about the letter H? Hunt the horrid harridan from the house?

    Prin – I have alway been very wary about feeding human remains to plants. I have found from experiment that it can have unpredictable results.

    John O – *sigh* The perfect partner? And I didn’t say I was boring. Herself did.

    TT – Yes, Dear?

    Granny – You forgot to mention that you had fuck all to do with it. Who planted it? Who has been feeding it and staking it ever since? Gerron yer bike, woman….

  14. after so many years with himself, granny may think she knows you, but I’m sure there is still a twinkle in those eyes of yours to keep herself on herself’s toes. enjoy the mystery

  15. Of course now I’m wondering what Herself finally threatened him with to get him to write about the plant after all. He really didn’t seem like he wanted to.

  19. She thinks you’re boring? Obviously she hasn’t read any of my drivel…

    PS. I was half-expecting the word “cunt”…

Hosted by Curratech Blog Hosting
↑