Maxi Cane [God bless his little cotton socks, and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits] has memed me.

He wants me to hold a wee dinner party to which I can invite eight people.

Rules:

• Pick 8 people you’d like to invite to dinner, dead or alive or re-animated / resurrected.
• Say why
• Link your answers back to HERE
• Give credit to the person who tagged you
• Tag three others

Apparently these people can be dead or alive.  Now a dinner with eight dead people sounds like the RTE Christmas Dinner, but Maxi assures me that for the sake of argument, we can assume they are still alive.

Herself wanted to be on the list but, as I pointed out, she’d be in the kitchen anyway and is excluded from the list.

First on the list is Jesus Christ.  He has to be there, as I have a lot of questions to ask, and also we will need a good quantity of wine, and I believe He is reputed to be a great supplier of the finest quality hooch.

Next up is my father.  With the hindsight of maturity, there are a million questions I would love to ask, and anyway he would be intrigued with all this Interweb and SatNav crap so I’m sure he’d appreciate it.

As I am inviting a family member, Herself wants to invite her sister.  The sister in question died before I met Herself and sounds like the only respectable member of the family, and was apparently great craic.  I always wanted to meet her, so this seems like a good time.  Herself might regret that one?

Lady Godiva would be a nice choice.  I don’t know much about her, or even if she was good looking, but we could sit her as a table centrepiece and should provide a topic of conversation if not a little more…..

I wanted to invite Sandra Bullock as I like my dessert to have brains as well as tits, but Herself said that if Bullock was coming that she wanted Jack Nicholson.  That would be fair enough, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Nicholson would spend the evening shagging Bullock, so I had better leave those two out.

Every party needs someone to liven things up a bit, so Attila the Hun could fill that bill.  There could be a bit of mayhem and slaughter [it’s OK, Jesus could resurrect them after] and I might be able to pick up a few tips?  

Herself wants to invite someone from the world of literature, and suggested Jane Austin.  Jayzus!!!!  Jane Austin?  What a fucking bore!  I’ll invite Tom Sharpe instead, just to annoy her.

We need someone to add a touch of class to the proceedings, and to generally raise the tone of the conversation, so I’m going to throw in Podge and Rodge even if it does take up two places.  Actually, as they are twins, and come as a package, they should only count as one seat, so I’m going to cheat here.  I might even sneak in Luck Kennedy as an apres déjeuner shag?

Daniel O’Donnell.  A strange choice?  Is Grandad going soft in his old age?  No.  I just want to strangle him.  Slowly.  While listening to Queen.

Every party needs a sap to sit there and to be the butt of all the jokes; someone who is as thick as pigshit to make the rest of us look intelligent.  This spot can only be filled by one person.  This has the be the one and only Pat The Plank.

Now for three victims?

*sigh*

TheChrisD – Because I haven’t hit him before, and it’ll give him something to worry about.

K8 – Because she’d feel left out if I didn’t?

Darragh – Because he has escaped up to now…..