Renaming
This place is turning into a zoo.
Our K8 has fecked off overseas and I am babysitting.
For once, it’s not the human kind of babysitting, more a case of animals and mechanics.
First of all I have their car taking up half my driveway. That is a bit of an embarrassment as it wouldn’t be my choice of car. Neighbourly impressions are important. So I have jacked it up onto concrete blocks and removed a few body panels. It looks much better now.
Then there is Wouldya. Now what kind of name is that for a dog? I feel daft shouting “Wouldya! Wouldya get that rock outa here!” It’s repetitive. So, as official guardian of this brainless lump of dogmeat, I have renamed him Darth Vader, or Vader for short. I feel much better shouting “Vader! Spit that child out!”
Lastly [but not leastly] there are a couple of guinea pigs.
Guinea pigs and I have never been on intimate terms in the past. I know nothing about them, so it’s a bit of a learning curve. I am beginning to learn which end is which.
They are named Fizz and Biddy which won’t do at all at all. I have renamed them Bubble and Squeak.
They are the noisiest pair of fuckers I have ever met.
How two little blobs of fur can make so much noise is beyond me.
They are in a cage at the other end of the room at the moment. There is a non-stop cacophony of crashes, clicks, squeaks, whistling, whirring and bubbling noises coming from them. Earlier one did a very good impression of a helicopter. They are providing endless amusement for Sandy who doesn’t have a clue what to make of them.
For a while, I contemplated doing some laboratory experiments on them, but I have a confession to make.
I’m growing quite fond of them.
Just don’t Richard Gere on us, OK?
just so ye know – the helicopter impression usually means they’re …in the mood.
good luck with the babysitting.
Thrifty – As usual, you have lost me…
Kae – Fuck! They are two females. I’m steering clear… 😐
Any severe warbling noises mean ‘will you bring me a carrot, cabbage leaf, bit of cucumber or lettuce leaf ‘ – no runner beans Grandad they are poison to Guinea Pigs!
Hendrix has mastered the art of warbling every time I open the fridge door just to remind me.
Thank heaven I have found a new job and will be out to work and not in this zoo starting from Tuesday – animal sitting is fun but not when it becomes full time!!!!
Kate – Thanks for the tip. Now I have to go and look for some vegetables! *sigh*
Well it might shut them up for a while while they munch and give Sandy a chance to decide if its worth the effort trying to ‘get’ them. Hippie and Max have practically given up trying with Hendrix now!!!
Sandy is very gentle with other animals and birds. She mothers them! She just hates foreign kids.
As a matter of interest, who translated all these whirs and squeaks?
I think it just comes with years of ownership – we have had five of them over the years – all my daughter’s I might add. You can just tell after a while – watch closely!!!!
Hey, at least you don’t have to cook for them!!
“Hey, at least you don’t have to cook for them!!”
No. But I might end up cooking them?
I don’t think guinea pig would taste very nice.
Try guinea fowl instead 🙂
Not even curried?
I don’t think so Grandad – just imagine for a moment the look of reproach in your beautiful grandchildren’s eyes when you explain that one!
I’d blame Vader.
Oh, good at cooking is he?
We babysat about 8 guinea pigs once in two separate cages. One of the males ran loose, I have no idea why or where but all of the 4 females ended up pregnant! Apparently they’re a fast food in Peru . . .nothing like a meal on the run . .Thrifty . .gotcha! But wasn’t it Gerbils?
Oh and Wouldye is the topsest name for a dog!
Heh! Fair play to him!
Another dog name I like us Fugly 🙂
So, you have a car in your driveway on blocks. If, as well, your house was on wheels you could be a redneck and get on the Jerry Springer show.
I AM stunned that you, of all people, consider neighborly impressions important.
Of course they are important. I don’t want them to think I’m trying to raise the tone of the place.
We had a Guinea pig but it died.
I had smokey bbq game for tea.
@tt, Grandad IS a redneck, but, I hope, not the US type. Is there too much punctuation in that sentence.?
I figure he is more of a hillbilly. Or at least he is fixin’ to be. Bless the old coot.
Good luck with babysitting.
BTW: why you hate George W Bush? lol….
Maxi – Is there a connection?
Stipes & TT – Do you both mind not talking about me begind my back please?
Health – Dubya? It would take me a year to tell you why I hate him. It would take me a year to think up some reason why I don’t.
Hi there
i tell you what lets swap places for a day i will babysit the crew and you can do my job of making xxx coffee and nice desserts. it sound like you are having a lot of fun there with the little bunch of furry creatures there if you ever need a human friend to hang out with and listen to your stories im just an email away. I hope that you and your crew are a tight bunch who look out for each other as for bubble and squeak i think they must be chatting away to themselves to pass the time off day. i have the similier thing going on in work and unlike bubble and squeak they are not cute but more so than annoying. Just remember im just an email away for lots of chats and maybe you can use K8’s discount while shes away sigh i miss her so.
Oh Grandad, this is serious, don’t pick Bubble and Squeak up by their fur/hair. When my daughter was a kid she entrusted her guinea pig to her grandad and he picked it up by the scruff of its neck (like you do a cat) and all the hair under his hand came out in a great clump! The poor animal had a huge bald patch – and I swear, my daughter never, ever forgave her grandad.
Still, you might just get away with it – with a bit of white beard and some glue…
Oh no, K8 is NEVER getting her guinea pigs back!
They CAN be amusing if they don’t get out. If they DO get out, it’s not so amusing to find one in your shoe while trying to put your shoes on.
Signed,
“nine-toed Dave”
“There is a non-stop cacophony of crashes, clicks, squeaks, whistling, whirring and bubbling noises coming from them. ”
Do they go quiet when you are nearby? Do they only whistle when you walk past their cage? Are they shifty eyed? Do the noises start up again when you leave the room? Have you recently misplaced power tools such as drills and chainsaw?
If yes, then I’d suggest sleeping with one eye open or just leaving the building.
Vicky – Thanks for the offer, but I’ll stick with looking after the rodents. My coffee making skills aren’t up to much. My letter writing is worse. I hate writing. I never go anywhere near a keyboard if I can help it.
Geri – I hadn’t thought of picking them up by the scruff of the neck, but I must try it. It sounds interesting. Thanks for the suggestion.
RhodesTer – There is no problem letting them loose in the house. I have taken to leaving the open cage at one end of the room and dropping them at the other end with Sandy. They are really fast little animals! They run back into their cage in about two seconds flat. Sandy is getting good exercise too.
Welcome to The Manor, 1st Lady! 🙂 They seem to make random noises. No particular pattern. They are very quiet since I got up this morning though. They look so peaceful lying there on their backs with their little paws in the air. Cute!
As far as she’s concerned, no.
I was meant to give it a proper burial.
Maxi – That counts as a proper burial, in my book.