Health food makes you thick — 24 Comments

  1. hahahahahahahahaha. just absolutely fantastic! hahahahahahah.

    you really need to listen to that with some kind of text to speech engine. With trying to stop my self laughing my eyes watered!

    Grandad, you’ve outdone your self.

    Get a demonstration screen reader from, download it and then read your post by pressing insert and down arrow…. just brillient.

  2. Jedrzej – I hope today ith jutht ath exthiting?

    DidgitalDarragh – No need for all that. I already supply audio files of all my scribblings. Just click on the Odiogo button on the sidebar. The file is usually available a short while after I publish.

  3. Servers her right or eating healthy cereal. She should have been eating Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes or something similar!

  4. TheChrisD – I keep telling her that we all need our MSG and E-numbers, but she won’t listen….

  5. She wouldn’t have done any damage having a fry!

    Bloody health food.

    On the other hand, if she’d had had a drop of whiskey in the milk, she probably wouldn’t have noticed.

    Have a fry and a short one for breakfast. It’s the way of the future!

  6. Oh that picture is fucking horrible!

    I’d thay herthelf will want to dish out an almighty thlap if she happens to read thith!

  7. Kate – Muesli is purely for lining the bottom of parrot cageth.

    Maxi – My philosophy exactly! That has been my staple diet [and Vidaloo, of course] for decades.

    Neil – She has read it now. I’m still in one piece. She said that the photo wasn’t a bit like her – she has an extra tooth in front.

    SinisterDan – Sorry about that 😉

    Prin – It’s a pity that it doesn’t attempt all the words!

  8. *Cringing*

    I’m with Maxi, stick to the fry. There’s plenty of vitamins and minerals in a fry. You’ve got iron, protein, calcium, Potassium, Vitamin C, Vitamin A, and a myriad of other important nutrients. Of course, there is the issue of cholesterol and fat. I had a great-grandmother that ate an Ulster Fry (our equivalent) every morning most of her life, and she lived to be 98! 🙂

  9. JD – Cringing? I don’t make people cringe, do I?

    Prin – If I had thought of it, I might have tried to write stuff that Yer Man in Odiogo could pronounce. The only problem is that no one would be able to read it properly then!

  10. Di you mean “Muesli is purely for lining the bottom of parrot cageth” or “Muesli is FROM the bottom of parrot cageth”?

  11. Nonsen! Swear I have all me own teeth! . I take them out from the cardboard boxes under my bed and we chat about the old days when you could buy a penny black jack bar for one penny.

  12. Jim C – Good point. To be honest, I don’t eat muesli, and I have never tasted the bottom of a parrot’s cageth [except maybe after a very heavy night], so I can’t comment.

    Granny – Don’t be telling lies. I know the truth, even if they don’t. Do you mean Cough No More bars? Hmmmmmmmm!

  13. TT – Herself is a better singer than SMG. Not hard, because she sobers up occasionally.

    BBB – Daily food ration for what?

  14. I’m so glad I don’t have teeth….just a couple of clasps…so far so good!

  15. I like how I sit down to eat a bowl of granola and pour a nice decent healthy serving of it- start munching away, look at the back of the box and find out I am eating more then my daily requirement for fat in one bowl and more calories then I should have at breakfast and lunch combined. It don’t even taste that good, so I am off the stuff and just eat donuts and bacon instead.

    Who actually eats a quarter cup of granola anyway… a crow? That’s like 3 spoonfuls, I need a wad a food get me going in the morning and a bucket of coffee on top of it.

    Sorry about the teeth- I lost half a crown chomping on the kids candy about a month ago… sux doesn’t it.

  16. Very funny post, luckily I have not had my breakfast yet so will stick to something soft…having said that the picture has put me off my food for now…yuk, yuk ,yuk!!!

  17. @BBB – Until you end up finding a flake that hasn’t been properly softened by the milk, you fail to chew it properly and you choke on it as it gets stuck in your throat 🙂

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