In case you have been wondering at my absence, I have been very busy running a new business that I have started up.
They say every retiree needs a hobby.
I have discovered a wee niche in the marketplace which I have nicely filled with my new enterprise.
The country here is heading into its worst recession in 1,358 years [that’s according to the government, who want a good pay-bargaining position], so suddenly we have a need for mass emigration. However the surplus workforce are mainly foreign workers who are now redundant from the building industry. These workers now want to go home.
The problem is that their countries were only too damn glad to get rid of them in the first place, and now they don’t want them back.
This is a problem.
So I have started a people trafficking business.
I am smuggling people into countries like Romania and Estonia, and a moxy load of others.
It isn’t easy.
I’m having to hire containers and then ship them overland disguised as beef exports.
The operation is so complicated that I have had to computerise the whole thing to keep track of it. I am using a top of the range package called MSWorks, but I doubt you have heard of it.
I am about to ship twenty six Turkish families in one container to Turkey [where else?]. Yesterday, I sent forty eight Ugandan families to Siberia. I confess that was a mistake, but I hope they’ll be happy there. I blame MSWorks for that one.
I’m calling my enterprise Eurorambles.
Anyone want a ticket?