Amazon know something
I just received an email from Amazon.
I buy quite a lot of stuff from Amazon, as I’m an avid reader and so is Herself. In fact, I received a delivery from them only last week.
They write to me frequently suggesting books I might like, which is fair enough, though I just delete them as if I want a book, I’ll order it.
This email has me worried.
First of all, they are recommending ‘Thanks for the Memories’ by Cecelia Ahern. Now, this goes to show just how wrong computers can be. Why in the name of all that’s holy would they think I would want that? I read books. Good books, by good authors, and they suggest Cecelia Ahern? Jayzus! I have enough firelighters in stock, and they are a lot cheaper than Cecelia Ahern’s books.
The bit that has me worried though, is their suggestions for non-fiction.
They want me to go camping in the UK. Why? They want me to order ‘Caravanning and Camping in Great Britain’. I don’t have a caravan or a tent. To go with it, they want me to buy the ‘AA Big Road Atlas, Britain’. They are very keen to send me there.
They obviously realise that I may not want to go to Britain [which I don’t, at the moment] so they are also offering me the Lonely Planet Guide to Thailand.
I wouldn’t mind seeing Thailand, and they must know this. In fact, I think they know a lot more than they are letting on.
The last choice they have sent me is ‘Make the Most of Your Time on Earth’.
That worries me.
What do they know, that I don’t?
The computer can’t be wrong!! I think it’s some ethereal figure telling you that your time on this earth is coming to an end. Perhaps you should give that caravanning a go?
They have an office here in the Digital Depot, want me to ask them?
Where on earth do they think you are going so soon??? Last year I got 1000 places to see before you die, now I know I have a long time left if I am to get through the list, I think I will be taking my time….
Darren – Maybe I should? I prefer renting a place though, but they don’t seem to take that into account.
Thrifty – Could you please? It might be important? [to me, anyway…]
Natalie – The least they could have done is to tell me how long I have left. It’s a bit annoying. Do I have to the end of the year? A bit longer? A bit shorter? 😮
Getting Cecelia Ahern in your list is as weird as the text sensitive ads with Gmail which today are offering me skilled jobs in Australia.
The Amazon recommendations are bizarre sometimes – but maybe also prescient!
Ah Grandad,
I can see you being the caravaning sort, I think fair play to them giving you the chance to purchase this wealth of knowledge, maybe you could go caravaning in the uk with all the folk you own on the networking site.
Cecelia Ahern is just scary though obviously with daddy out of a job the ahern family are trying to flog of as many books as possible before we forget about them.
Think you have it bad, Grandad? Huh! That is nothing!
They are recommending the following to me – Kidnapped, Hard Times, and For Whom The Bell Tolls.
At least you get to go on your holliers!
You had me worried there, I went straight on to Amazon, they reckon I need a book about food by the poo collector Gillian McKeith. Now I know I might have put on a few pounds and my other half bought me an unsolicited Wii Fit to fuel my weight paranoia, but for crying out loud how did Amazon know? Can I have your Cecilia Ahern book? it will make me lose weight by vomiting per chapter.
One of my favorite quotes came from the CEO of IBM in the early 1980’s. “None of our computers have ever made a mistake that we know of”.
Ian – “but maybe also prescient” I hope not. 😐
McAWilliams – Good point about the family. Himself has probably sent brown envelopes all over the place, pushing the book like mad. He has standards to maintain.
Longman – I get to go on my holliers, but for how long? I’d rather be kidnapped, please?
King Bob – I never thought of that! The Bulimic’s Handbook. No wonder she sells so well.
Brianf – Was that before or after Bill Gates came along?
Don’t worry. It’s that time of year, isn’t it? They have a bunch of kids in on Work Experience and they figured doing the recommended reading was probably the least trouble they could get into.
Brianf – and the CEO was absolutely right – of course he was. Computers don’t make mistakes. People do! Or to put it another way, PEBCAK.
Grandad, IBM and Microsloth hooked up in 1979.
Jay, the funny point of that quote is the final four words, ‘that we know of’.
If it’s not a PEBKAC error it might be an ID10T error.
Well they say they don’t know what I am talking about so I have a couple of them in stress positions in the basement listening to Nine Inch Nails at 65dB. I’ll pop down with a jug of water and a burlap sack later and see if they have any further light to shed.
Grandad have you tried bookdepository.com? Free shipping… always works out cheaper than Amazon. I hate the bastards since they opened the wartehouse in Dublin. How come people in the UK get free shipping when they spend more than fifteen quid and the stuff is sent from Ireland? But we don’t get shit. Paddy tax again. Makes me so mad! 🙂