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Ground Zero Chicago — 20 Comments

  1. if all goes well with the launch, I have a list of other U.S cities you might like to, er, visit (before they visit you)

  2. Tony – This is a very interesting business proposition. I hadn’t considered nuking American cities for profit, but I don’t see why not? Unfortunately, as there is a limited supply of them, it is a finite market, so my prices would have to be pretty high. Unless, of course the Americans can build cities faster than I can nuke them [but I doubt that].

    I’ll have my accountants look into it.

  3. After culling tourists for so long, flattening cities and civilizations is the next logical step. I expect Cavan is so insignificant as to escape the wrath of Grandad so that’s fine.

    There was a few wankers who were leaving comments on my blog a while ago, I’d love to track down and have a helicopter drop a bucket of rancid custard on their house.

  4. Hey! I live too close to your ground zero, and I assure you that I have no connection to that spammer or that server!

    Please spare us innocents. Besides, we have more than our share of mad, armed killers on this side of the pond. By the way, I agree with you about Meigs Field.

    Seniorwriter

  5. Terence – You have to expand if you want to stay in business [or so they say], so I suppose it is a logical step. Your wankers weren’t in Panama by any chance? I removed them from the map last year.

    Marlys – I’m terribly sorry to lose such a valued reader. Maybe if you send your mad armed killers around, I won’t have to reduce you to a hole in the ground? You have the address?

  6. I like Chicago. It has good Pizza. PTCC and I ended up eating cold Chicago style deep fill pizza for breakfast in our hotel room on our honeymoon. Do LA, it’s a big endless beige hell hole. Get Vegas too.

  7. If only it were so easy. This is a bit like nuking you local post office (good job they sold up recently), because of junk mail you get in your letter box.

    Your spammer is more likely to be resident in Korea, or even (gulp) New Zealand. It probably just so happens that the particular recent deluge you have received originated with a bot they seeded in Chicago.

    Still it’s pretty sloppy that they didn’t close down the originator. Yeah. Go on. Push the button! (Remember to install SP1 first)

  8. Thrifty – We’ll wait and see what Marlys can do. Maybe she [and Chicago] can be spared?
    Los Angeles is definitely on my list. Not only are they so fucking lazy that they have to abbreviate their city name to LA, but they started all that American “sitcom” crap.
    Vagas is a good one too. A good chance to get rid of all those gamblers and Tom Jones.

    Neighbour – You’ll be pleased to hear that the post office is safe. I bought it. It saves me having to rob it all the time.
    I don’t care where Sweetpea lives. They are using Chicago, so that is my target. If it turns out they are in New Zealand then… c’est la vie.
    I did install SP1, but I didn’t install anti-spam software. The whole missile is anti-spam hardware.

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  10. TT – If you can still read this…. Sorry – too late.

    Shannon B – Some people have no morals.

  11. Could you please find out where the ANNOYING telemarketing phonecalls I keep getting from “Heather at Account Services” orginate from & nuke them too?!? Thanks so much!

  12. Olga – For a bra, you are very intolerant. Just keep a whistle by the phone, and give them an earful. Either that or read back on my previous posts. I’m sure I wrote about this somewhere.

  13. Grandad:

    Congratulations, you are definitely the most curmudgeonly Irishman that I have ever “met” (and I’ve met quite a few in my time).

    As I type this I’m sitting at “Ground Zero” staring off to the east in search of a vapor trail of incoming ordinance. I would like to note that your satellite map is quite outdated since it still shows Meig’s field complete with runways. Take it from the US military, inaccurate data could possibly lead to loss of innocent life and quite possibly take out the Hooter’s and Rainforest Cafe instead of the designated target (wait, that would be a good thing…).

    I have had my spies infiltrate and gather intelligence on your behalf. If indeed the offending SPAMMER’s emails are coming from your target’s IP block, you should send the complete headers to their abuse department.

  14. Em0r – You do say the nicest things, and I’m sorry you are about to be vapourised. I know the photograph is out of date, but I presume you haven’t shifted the buildings around, or changed the addresses? I did consider writing to their abuse department, but that usually gets me nowhere. Anyway, this is more fun.

    Incidentally, has it occurred to you that you may be looking in the wrong direction? It may be coming in from the north or west?

  15. West and North? Now I feel as idiotic as a Frenchman manning a gun on the Maginot line in 1940.

    While I agree that massive explosions are infinitely more fun than whining to a complaint department, I have it on good authority that these chaps take SPAMMERS seriously and will chop them down at the knees in true Tanya Harding style.

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