America declares war on Ireland
Earlier today, I initiated a bit of anti-spam policy.
As usual, the Americans overreacted and declared war.
And, as usual, they missed.
My apologies [on behalf of the American people] to the people of Bristol.
Head Rambles
A sideways look at life by an Irish Grandad
Ah Bristol, where is that? Did we get close? Close enough is good for U.S. you know. (went for Osama, got Saddam – close enough.)
God Bless America.
West coast of England. The Brits aren’t going to be too happy with that?
And will you lot please stop chucking old satellites around the place?
God Save What’s Left of America
Poor old Bristol a guy on whom I had one of my first crushes ever lives there and all! boo hoo! Nice one to get in there first and declare war on the US though makes a decided change from them deciding who they are going to pick on next!
Excellent posts Grandad!
Oi I was born there! Well, not in the bit that is on fire. In a hospital (I assume).
The bombing of Bristol England was merely a diversion. We here in the USA have decided to hit the Irish people where it really hurts. We have quickly and quietly infiltrated Dublin and the government of the Irish Republic. We have rewritten their consitution. It now allows for the Taoiseach to serve for life.
Long live Bertie!!!
I reckon we are doomed anyway.
Did you ever notice that if you sign up for something online or wherever there is a drop down list of countries where Ireland is?
Obviously it’s in alphabetical order but the list goes like:
Indonesia
Iran
Iraq
Ireland
If George W. Dumbass ever gets tempted to press the little red button to fire off a nuke I just hope he has his reading glasses on first.
Fifty years Bristol Rovers have waited to get as far as they have in the FA Cup and now their ground has gone.
And I was due to collect a degree from the university there in the summer 🙁
“It now allows for the Taoiseach to serve for life.” – You know, Americans, THIS sort of thing is why the terrorists hate you. 🙂
Dubya – You’re a bastard…
“It now allows for the Taoiseach to serve for life”
Aaaaaaaaah!! *runs and takes an overdose*
To all of you who had fond memories of Bristol [including myself], blame the Americans.
Don’t worry, Ian. It’s the thought that counts.
Robert – Should that be “tourists” or “terrorists”? I’m getting worried….
What will we miss now that Bristol is gone?
Well you might not miss much, Flirty, but for some people it was important. If you had grown up as a yokel in deepest Somerset, Bristle would have had a great place in your affections.
(And if you were right-minded you would have supported Bristol Rovers – who hate their neighbouring football team with a passion)
I always thought St Mary Redcliffe was a rather attractive building. And then there was the Clifton Suspension Bridge.
On the other hand, they can’t film Holby City or Casualty anymore. Herself will be devastated….
Oh, I love Bristol. Wish we had it here. 🙂
(I was there a few years back for a competition; it’s so nice!)
I prefer Chicago
Damn Grandad! If we are going to be at war with America. Just where are we going to keep the prisoners??
On another note, I posted a real letter to President Vladimir Putin on Saturday asking him to drop a couple of nukes on Quebec. They are giving the owners of an Irish pub a hard time saying that they aren’t “french” enough.
http://crankycanuck.org/?p=338 if you want to read it. A copy of the letter I posted is at the bottom. Delete the link if you feel it is inappropriate.
Robert – I agree. It is [was] a beautiful city. I daresay we would have a lot of it now, if the wind hadn’t changed.
Roy – Chicago? There is no such place. At least, not since yesterday.
Cranky – Have you any room in Canuckastan? Or we can stick ’em in Iraq?
I love that letter! The link stays. And keep us up to date on the war as it progresses. 😉
Grandad,
So what’s this? I thought you were my friend. I thought we respected each other and all that. So this morning I find out that because of your vendetta with Chicago (who cares, you can have it, oh…you already did) now Canada is set to invade Vermont. And that was before my first cup of coffee! Invade? What the hell for? We’ve always been pals with the Canadians. They’re next door neighbors fer heaven’s sake (good neighbors for that matter, just like family, don’t even need a fence) and now, through your actions, they’re all set to invade, take prisoners and put them in soggy government supplied trailers imported from New Orleans–even the natives!
And now Ireland??! And I keep a hallowed place in my sidebar for folks like yourself. Frickin’ unbelievable.
Oh well, go with the flow I always say. Now let’s talk about arms and munition supplies. And how are you set for transportation? I have a great inventory and always willing to give my friends steep discounts. And don’t worry about my integrity none. Vermont’s supplying the USA (we’ve always been our own nation, we just gotten around to making out the paperwork), and Canada as well. Just good business.
@Cranky
Just stick us in various pubs, get us drunk and take advantage of us. We won’t mind a bit and besides, we’re fair story tellers and we’ve got a lot of great bar bands to offer that will play for cheap.
Ah, why hit Chicago? Why not Hollywood?
Why Chicago? Because they were spamming me and I don’t like that.
Why not Hollywood? Because they are too dumb and self absorbed to even realise they had been nuked. It would have been a waste of a missile.