My sincere apologies for my absence.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to leave the country.Â It was all basically a mistake, involving the CIA, MI5, MI6, The ICA and the GAA.
Someone spread a rumour that I was Osama bin Laden.Â I don’t know where they got that idea from.Â I told them that I couldn’t be, because I wasn’t a Muslim [AllÄ?hu Akbar].Â They accepted that quite happily, but then decided I was Harold Shipman.Â It was around that time that I had to go on the run.
Do I look like this?
It took a team of barristers and a chimpanzee to convince them that I couldn’t be Harold Shipman either, because he was dead.
It was a rough time.Â I did manage to connect to the Interweb for a couple of short moments, but all I got was abuse from you lot, so I didn’t bother again.
Some of you might have been under the misapprehension that I had ceased blogging altogether.Â I’m sorry about that, but I did have to leave in rather a hurry.Â Some of you have suggested that it was all a ploy [I’m not sure what the objective would have been?].Â Whatever the case, I’m back and hope to resume normal service, whatever that is.
The great news for me is that by way of apology, the CIA, MI5, MI6, The ICA and the GAA have all given me an unconditional pardon for something that they thought I did, but unconditionally pardoned me for everything that they didn’t know I did, but in fact, had done.Â There is apparently no time limit on this pardon.Â So I’m a free agent.
It’s good to be back.