Monday morning blues
It’s Monday morning and I’m in one of those moods.
There is a howling gale outside and I’m cold, because I have all the windows open. I have to keep them open because the wind is making the boiler smoke. I’d switch off the boiler, but then Herself would complain. Frankly, I’d rather suffer the cold and wind.
I went down to the village to cheer myself up. That didn’t work, because there are no damned tourists around. There’s never a damned tourist when you want one, and then they appear in bus loads. Damned inconsiderate, I call it.
There was no parking either. I hate that. Surely they know I’m coming? I had to park at a bus stop, on top of a Garda ‘No Parking’ cone which I squished. Serves them right for putting it there.
They tell me that when women want cheering up, they go shopping, so I’m going to try that.
I’m going to buy one of these……..
I know it’s an SUV, but I’m getting one anyway. Just in time for the tourist season.
You’ll probably find me at the Cliffs of Moher. Or maybe Glendalough. Or the Rock of Cashel.
Or maybe I’ll just drive around Dublin Airport car park?
Ah well, Grandad, by the SOUND of things, you’ll be okay for a pee at Glendalough 😉
Will you drive and shoot at the same time?
I noticed that, Steph. 🙂
Just imagine how much that will cost you in ammunition alone. Those things fire up to 6000 rounds per minute and I bet they are a bugger to reload too!
Grannymar – Sandy is going to drive. She’ll love that, though I’ll have to get her ear-muffs.
Robert – Yes. But look at the money I’ll make selling those cartridge cases for scrap.
It is blue Monday, though what you would want one of those yokes for, I’ve no idea.
Can you imagine the refuse charges you would run up with the Co Council with all those shell cases?
Ian, If the council knew he had one of those things I don’t think they would go anywhere near him!
That one is last years model. The 2008 comes standard with a case catcher so you can bring them home and reload them. We also offer an optional nuclear powered automatic reloading machine that we can install in your basement. You just fill the four hoppers with empty cases, powder, primers and bullets and it does the rest. For those of you on a budget we offer a similar machine that is steam powered by coal. This model also comes with your very own Pakistani family. They keep the fire going and will make sure the hoppers are always full.
For some international sales (EU and Japan) we can only mount twin .30 caliber machine guns (M1927A7) in the 2008 GMC Yukon Suburban.
Not for sale in Iran, Venezuela, Sudan and Sri Lanka.
Proud member of the I.T.S.A.(International Tourist Shooting Association)
@BrianF: Damn! and I just bought last year’s model too!
@Grandad: By the way, I’ll be offering up a full reloading crew that rides along with you with fourteen extra loads of ammo and a special modification for your gun’s setup already to go. They’ll just feed ’em in as you go.
I haven’t figured out the lease fee yet but I’m sure to offer significant discounts to friends. Would you perhaps be interested in doing some test runs when the time comes?
Brianf – It looks like you have a rival bid. I am interested in two of this years model. I will take the coal fired model, but am not fussed about the nationality of the stokers. Just pack them in the crates with a 2 litre bottle of water.
KirkM – Your offer sounds very tempting. Can you guarantee a 2008 model? Frankly I’m more interested in purchase than lease, but if the price is good?
Both of you – Could you please forward [in sealed envelopes] full specifications and prices. Bribes are quite acceptable.
I’m sure we can swing a purchase although the initial offer is for the team and their equipment alone (rides along in your own rig) but I’m quite amenable to offering up a package deal that can be quite attractive.
Oh, and it’s not a rival offer to BrianF’s since he’s offering up a ammo reloader option for your basement and I’m offering a reload team and equipment for the ride. A combination deal that just can’t be beat anywhere. By the way, my team consists of 2 ex-Cold War Submariners with bad attitudes. Just feed ’em burgers and really cheap beer and/or liquor and they’ll be loyal as hell. You can even use them to quiet all the building noises going on next door just to keep them busy during the off hours.
There is a reason not to go the whole hog and get the cybernetic-ally integrated rail gun version attached to your arm?
KirkM – That sounds like a fair deal. Can you trow in a fully armed Cold War submarine too? [Boomer, of course].
Thrifty – Too cumbersome. I don’t want to look like Robocop!
My children have been replaying this video for the last 40 minutes and I really need to take them to bed now. You’re SUCH a bad influence!!! x
Good God! You let your children read my blog? 😮
Tell them I’ll set Tiddles on them if they don’t go up NOW.
Why does this vid remind me / inspire me about the post-school-gate dash / war on weekday mornings in suburban South Dublin…..???
Spaghetti – It’s a long time since I was involved in school-gate dashes, but I know what you mean!!