In defence of John Waters
The has been a lot of negative comment in the Blogging World about John Waters lately.
For those of you who don't know who John Waters is, he is the most intelligent man in Ireland and he writes for the Irish Times [when he’s not writing songs], and he says that without exception, all blogs and bloggers are stupid.
I think it is only fair to come to his defence.
Twenty has a podcast of John. Darragh O'Brien had a fairly balanced article on the subject, while Damien goes head first on the offensive.
Now I can speak with absolute authority on John Waters, because I don't know him. I have never met the chap.
I am likely to get to know him even better, because everyone I come across, I ask them if they are John Waters. If they say they are, then I ask them to leave my presence immediately. I want to keep my intimate knowledge of John intact.
You see, I am stupid. I am proud of the fact. I would hate to be tainted by one so exalted and erudite as John. I mean to say – he can write. He can string three sentences together perfectly. I can say that with absolute authority too, because I have never read one of his articles, that I know of.
Of course he has condemned Jim Carroll, Shane Hegarty, Conor Pope, Sarah Carey and Stephen Fry as all being stupid too. This is a bit harsh, but John is an extreme intellectual, so he must know what he is talking about.
There are some things that I don't know about John, however. I don't know if he can write a song, because I had the misfortune to see the Eurovision Song Contest. But then, he did win by coming last.
I am a bit confused, I admit, about his interest in pornography. I work on the Interweb most days, and I see a lot of web sites. I must have visited many thousands over the years. I rarely come across pornography though. Very rarely. But John says sixty to seventy percent of the Interweb is pornography? I really must be searching in the wrong places. I must write to him and find out how he is so successful at finding them.
Now he has his own blog. This is going to cause him some confusion because he now cannot exist in his own presence. But someone of John's great intelligence can work that out, surely. I notice it doesn't contain any sex or Satanism, which is very disappointing.
But I digress. I want this to be a positive post. So I am going to say something nice about John.
He has a beard.
I could say it's a pathetic attempt at one, but then I have never met it.
*Update* – I can now also confirm that he is a great actor. He is a much better actor than Tom Cruise [mind you, that’s not much to boast about].
Thank you for the chuckle I had reading this. And thanks for the name-check. And if you do get John Waters’ list of interweb porno, please post it up.
But bear in mind that his definition of porn might differ from yours (or mine). But I suspect it may involve beards.
I can’t comment on this post because I’m stoopid.
John Waters is not a child rapist but I’ve never met him.
Welcome Daragh 🙂 No. If he were looking for beards, he would have found this site, and this is [God forbid] a BLOG! Aaaah!
He really is setting himself up for ridicule though. I would love to see him in debate with Stephen Fry.
I have taken the liberty of robbing your audio, and editing it down to the relevant bit. I hope you [and Newstalk] don’t mind?
Brianf – Not. only. stoopid. but. you. can’t. put. two. words. together.
Hi Grandad. I’ll give you some boiled sweets if you can elaborate on the Stephen Fry thing.
Hi Paul. Elaborate? What is there to elaborate? Stephen Fry – actor, author, broadcaster, wit and blogger. He would be perfect for JW. On at least five occasions, I have heard him put more than two intelligent words together.
By the way, the teeth aren’t what they used to be. Could you send me chocolates instead please?
I sense an element of “I come not to praise bloggers but to bury them…….For surely he is an honourable man” 🙂 So, extreme intellectualism, does that involve drinking Pepsi Max while being intellectual? Is that feasible?
The man is an ass, but in a very small way you could understand journalists not appreciating bloggers. They go to university for four years and work their way up the chain and maybe one day get a featured column, whereas a blogger could be anyone, even God forbid, a housewife 😉 and gets offered a column just like that. It would be a little irritating methinks. But branding them all ignorant just makes him look stupid. Making a blatant statement about anyone without knowing them is just bad form.
Thrift – An intellectual [snob] is someone who thinks he knows more about everything than he really does. I don’t know if Pepsi Max comes into it. I’ve never met it.
Deborah – I can well understand the attitude of some journalists to blogging, but there is a big difference between journalism and blogging. One supposedly provides the facts, while the other provides opinions. The two are complimentary. It’s bad enough that he labels all bloggers without exception, as stupid, but he then goes on to say that he wouldn’t even talk to a blogger, thereby defending his position.
What were have here is a case of bigotry rather than informed opinion.
Hey Grandad,
Great post and I agree with everything you said, one thing that bothers me though is the fact you have not added him to your blogroll yet.
May I ask why?
McAWilliams – That has been rectified. 🙂
He certainly has managed to get a lot of bloggers knickers in a twist. Whoever he is. “Methinks thou…….”?
Ah, there’s no shortage of them in the world. Mostly just window dressing as far as I can tell. Knowing feck all about anything except IC design works for me in general. So far as I can tell Pepsi max, according to ads, involves doing everything in an extreme manner.
Emmm I’m inclined to agree with Deborah a little, they are trained journalists plus what they write is subject to regulation, Bloggers can abuse, slander and say whatever the hell they want. I mean image he was to write an article like this post for the Times, I reckon the editor might have some reservations. In saying that, some Blogs are really well written and informative, naturally yours is at the top of the best blog in towns list. Now on that note where can I get hens wings clipped if I do it myself is the propensity to make a balls of it enormous? (Please excuse the blatant misuse of your blog)
Nonny – To be serious for a moment, I agree completely. I think there is a little too much emphasis on the ‘trained journalist’ though. You cannot make a bad writer into a journalist by training them – they have to have the ability to write first.
But I digress. There are good and bad journalists out there, just as there are good and bad bloggers. The bad journalists tend to be weeded out by their employers, and that is the way it should be. There is no such regulation on bloggers, and that is why the bad ones proliferate. I agree with JW that there are a LOT of stupid bloggers.
However, one thing that a good journalist should not do is make such sweeping statements. Statements should be researched and qualified. To make a statement that ‘all bloggers are stupid’ and then to admit to never having read a blog is an example of the worst kind of journalism. I know it is an opinion of his, and not part of an article, but I think he lowers his own standards by making such a statement.
Personally, I don’t take him seriously. No one could after his comments. I am not offended by them. All he has done is to open himself up to public ridicule.
You are right of course Grandad. I suppose Blogs are something of a different genre, particularly compared to mainstream media. Aside from Bloggers, condemning the Internet as a whole in an age in which it plays such an enormous role will surely be to his own detriment. Ahh sure leave him to it.
Aww for fuck’s sake. I dont know who he is, nor do I care. I think the Irish particularly take their blogging very seriously, perhaps you shouldn’t. Some blogs are shite, some are great, some are funny, some are boring. Some bloggers take themselves too seriously, others (like me) are just wafflers.
It’s just another medium like newspapers or TV or ratio. I’m getting a bit tired of people bagging blogs. It’s like complaining about a certain TV program. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it – you have the power!
Bloggers are just a bunch of people having an opinion (as you do in the letters section of a newspaper) a rant some of the time and standing on their virtual soap box most of the time. For me it’s fun. If I don’t like you, I wont blogroll or read your blog.
Take a chill pill Mr Waters!
Grandad
I’m in agreement with you. Journalists shouldn’t make sweeping statements without research or any quality control. However some of the comments on the Fake John Waters blog actually proves that there are some quite silly people blogging.
While (some) editors weed out (most) bad writers (some papers seem to actually promote them unfortunately), the corresponding quality control in blogs is that if you are not particularly good then people won’t read you. Even at that, people may find some posts from a good blogger to be little more than well polished turds.
And as for Stephen Fry vs Waters.. I’d pay good money to watch that debate!