Tina Turner is bad for your health
Yesterday was a bad day.
I have mentioned my neighbours before.
They are rebuilding their house after that unfortunate incident where I used too much petrol when removing a wasps nest from their eaves.
They started months ago, but made too much noise. So I had to shoot them. They were only Eastern Europeans after all.
They had removed all the slates off the roof at that stage and had covered the house in plastic. The survivors then disappeared. Those foreigners are very easily offended.
So, for a long time, the place lay idle, and the plastic blew off in the gales and the house was destroyed, along with the bit they were rebuilding.
A new crowd arrived before Christmas and started cleaning up the mess. They were Irish, so I left them alone. They started work again this week and are making a lot of noise.
I tolerated the noise. I even tolerated the radio that was blaring. But then they started playing Tina Turner. I like Tina Turner’s earlier stuff but her latest just drives me insane.
I went out and told them to shut up. They told me to f*ck off. I shot one in the arse, and he dropped his power hammer into my garden.
Being a nice bloke, I retrieved the hammer for them, and got chatting to the Gaffer while the others were tending to their mate [he didn’t half scream – wimp!]. The Gaffer politely told me my water tank was overflowing. I hadn’t realised this, as it’s up on a flat roof and I don’t go up there often unless the neighbouring women are sunbathing, and they don’t do much of that in this weather.
So I had to spend yesterday up to my elbows in freezing water, in a very cold wind on a snowy roof, replacing a washer that I had to make myself because I didn’t have a spare.
Yes.
Yesterday was a bad day.
The word ‘Karma’ comes to mind. On the whole it seems balanced, one builder for a leaky tank seems fair.
I suppose you’re right, Jack. If I hadn’t shot him, they wouldn’t have told me about the overflow, and I wouldn’t have known about it. The Gods were on my side, all right.
Oh quit your complaining. Geez, I had to go walking around all day today and let me tell you it never got over 23C. On top of that I had to close my window this morning because it was a bit chilly. And you think you have it bad. 🙂
Me? Complain? Never! They are banging away again today, but no radio 🙂
I’m glad you’re so proud of that flag that you keep using it.
Brian, leave the ould geezer alone, if he didn’t complain he would have nuffin to say! 😉
I suppose you remember he lost his sense of humour.
Thank you, Grannymar. You tell him!
” Her latest” you say. When was that? She must be pushing 70 Grandad.
TT- You’re right! Now that I think about it, it was Cher. I knew it was someone who used to be famous as a half.
Is Ireland the third world? Why on earth would you store water on your roof. It’s not for the sunshine.
(Yes, I am aware that you hate Americans and I do what I can to keep the ire alive)
Grandad,
I was suddenly struck by a bizarre image of you standing beside the water tank lip synching “Simply the best”
Sue – Ireland is certainly behind the States. We are still at the ‘civilised’ stage where you have all advanced to ‘decadence’. Actually, there is a simple reason why the water tank is on the roof – there is nowhere else to put it. It’s an old [200 years?] cottage with a tiny attic. When the extension was built at the back, and water put in, the tank went on the extension roof.
If it’s any consolation, the outside jax [sorry, toilet] is still there, but I use it as a woodshed now.
We even have electricity.
Ian – I won’t tell you what I was lip synching. I have respect for the collar.
You made a washer and in the little roundy thing with a whole in the middle?
There is a hole in the end of the plunger that should have a washer in it. I didn’t have one, so I cut three little circles out of a rubber sheet and pushed them in. It works a treat. And before anyone makes a comment – the rubber sheet was roofing material, not an incontinence sheet!!
Mighty inventive young man. I hope you stole the rubber sheet from the builders.
“We don’t need another heeeeeroooooow . . .”
(Ian stole my ‘Simply the Best’ thunder . . .bastard!)
or maybe:
“I cant stand the rain ..” or perhaps “Ri-ver deep mountain high! . . .” or my personal favourite . . “Typical Male”
Nonny – I had no choice. It’s miles to the nearest hardware. And of course I used their rubber. They spent the whole day today putting up wooden laths to take the tiles. I’ve only just come in from there. I now have enough timber to last the rest of the winter. 😉
Baino – You off on one of your men bashing trips again?