↓
 

I've got you under my skin

Head Rambles Posted on by

Yesterday started off as a good day.

My mood was good, and what was even better, we had finally shifted the worst of the weather over to America.

It was cold, but the sun was shining.  We decided to go down to the village.

Everything changed.

As soon as we arrived in the village, the mood took a downer.  Bing Crosby was singing Christmas melodies very loudly throughout the place.  I hate Bing Crosby.  Well, I don’t hate Bing Crosby himself, as I don’t know him, but I hate his singing.  And that goes for Sanatra and all that lot as well.  The sound of "White Christmas" and all that sh*te really gets under my skin, so I could feel the kill instinct coming to the fore.

I decided to calm myself with a mug of coffee while Herself went shopping.

Sandy and I wandered over to the coffee shop, where there were a few people sitting out, supping their coffee and giving out stink about Crosby.

Then I saw them…..

The best tables nearest the heater has ‘No Smoking’ signs on them.  And this was outside in the open f*cking air!

I complained very loudly to the owner.  She agreed with me, because she likes a smoke or two herself, but said the health inspector had insisted.

Who are these f*cking Nazis? They have driven us outside, and are still complaining.

At this stage, I was spitting venom and was getting near what my psychiatrist calls ‘explosion point’.

I set fire to the ‘no smoking signs’.  In fairness to them, they didn’t make much smoke.

One of the customers complained when I burned the sign on his table.

He made a LOT of smoke.

 

Comments

I've got you under my skin — 21 Comments

  1. I think tobacco will soon be going the way of the humble lightbulb here in Ireland.

    Only a matter of time before Gormless or Harney or someone else outlaws tobacco completely.

    B*stards

  2. I don’t mind Crosby or Sinatra, usually. But I absolutely f***ing hate Christmas music. It’s so bloody twee it makes those Carrolls gift shops in Dublin look like Harrods. I feel sorry for people working where it’s playing all day; the same dozen songs, every hour, every day for three months would drive you bananas. It drives me crazy in about 15 minutes, too. The unions agree:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/christmas2006/story/0,,1978600,00.html

    Bit unfair about the no-smoking outdoors, though.

  3. That defies all reason, putting no smoking signs outside. Like many things in this country it makes no sense. What minimum distance do you have to be from the sign before you can smoke?

  4. They’ve done similar things here as well, “bars” allow smoking but “restaurants” do not. Most businesses got around that by sacrificing their family business and becoming bars, so unfortunately for us, we don’t get to go to some of our favorite places to eat with the kid because he’s not allowed inside anymore. Of course, the husband and I can go and then tell him that we went without him and scar him mentally 🙂 It all works out I guess.

  5. Robert – There would be open war, though they are heading that way. The inspector would have produced more harmful fumes just driving there!!

    Andrew – “Christmas” music drives me mad. All that sh*t about sleighbells and snow. I love carols, but in the peace of my own home. And as for Slade – Aaaaaahg!!!!

    Jack – I couldn’t believe it when I saw the signs. There was a stiff wind, for God’s sake. It is complete insanity – the Nanny State gone mad. I lit up right beside a ‘no smoking’ table, and the smoke drifted nicely across. [And the people at the table said it was a lovely smell!!].

    Stepford Mum – It least you can smoke indoors. Here, with the police state that we have, they are even banning it outdoors.

  6. Coming soon…A ban on log fires in pubs and Bar B Ques.

    I wonder how much smoke a health inspector would produce slowly turning “on an open fire”*

    Now that would also make a nice Christmas tune.

  7. Setting fire to no-smoking signs was pure genius, love it!

    Our water pump broke this morning (it waited until Himself left for work, the ****) and when the repairman arrived he told me that while my house — MY HOUSE, that we paid for and fix and clean, M Y H O U S E — was now a no-smoking area because it was his workplace. That’s spelled out in this smoking law, he says.

    Then he pulls out his fags and says, “Mind if I do it anyway?”

    I told him that after what he said, SOMEBODY had to start smoking. Him with the fags, or me with the fury.

    Is that TRUE what he tells me…that if a repairman is in your house YOU can’t smoke either?

    Madness gone mad.

  8. SID – I can guarantee that barbecues and the like will be banned. I stand by my right to burn whatever I like in [or around] my own home. I take great delight in burning the good old smoky coal!! It smells lovely on a winter’s night.

    They can f*ck off. The lot of them.

    Susan – Next time, tell him it’s YOUR HOUSE, and YOU will decide who smokes and who doesn’t. It isn’t his place of employment. It’s your home. I suppose he at least had the grace to ask?

    Anybody who visits here is told that it is a compulsory smoking zone, and if they are non smokers, they can feck off to the non smoking zone in the garden, where they belong.

  10. Susan, I can’t get over that. If some non-smoking tradesman came to my home to fix something I was paying him for and he complained because I was smoking, I’d kick him out (without pay) and hire a tradesman that smokes.

    This country is getting ridiculous to live in. Hurry up the 29/12 till I get outta here!

  13. I don’t know where Brianf lives but it sure as hell isn’t the sun belt. 78F and I am in shorts and a T-shirt. Global warming ? Bring it on. (Don’t mean that !) I figure that if you are going to live in this God forsaken land you need to be near the east coast ‘cos an 8 hour flight is more than enough. Also you need to be in the southland for the weather. Cheers.

  14. TT – Eastish, but north of you I would imagine. Lovely weather here today – blue skies and calm for a change, but damn cold.

  15. You poor man. I just read K8’s post and God be with you and yours during this terrible time.

  16. Apparently our government has an ‘Office of Tobacco Control’ now, well there’s money well spent.

    But between themselves and Citizens Information, I got the smoking-ban-at-home facts:

    There are exemptions (like prisons and nursing homes) where the employer has the right, but not the obligation, to enforce the ban. Apparently, if a non-smoking tradesman comes along to your house to fix something, he has a legal right to complain if you hang over him puffing on a cigar while he works.

    But you’d have a moral right to kick him in the arse if he did.

    And the advice I got, unofficially official of course, is “Who cares what the law says, it’s not enforceable” which is good enough for me–I’m in West Cavan after all; if we can live without planning permission, we can live without smoking bans.

  17. AAAhhh I see Canada is not the only place where the busy bodies are running rampant….it’s sort of comforting in a way and damn maddenning in another…Big Brother sticks his runny nose in every where..Here if you smoke it ranks right up there with manslaughter..I am beginning to think I live in a collective outside Minsk or something..I just got wrapped on the knuckles awhile ago for having a fence with posts that are 13.5 inches to far apart despite the fact that fence was there when I bought it and was 15 years old…..I wish the dam do gooders would get there own place like an island off Anchorage or something…

  18. I gave up smoking on 29th November and now find myself sitting conspicuously close to smokers and inhaling rather loudly. . . it doesn’t have the desired effect . . . tradesmen, feel free to come to my house and light up . . .please.

  19. Sixty – Thanks! Rough times 😉

    Susan – It is only a matter of time before there is an “Office of People Control”. What you do in your home, and what I do in my home is our business and not the governments. If you want to enforce a rigid anti-smoking stance that is your right. If I want to smoke in front of a tradesman then I will, because as owner of the house, it is my right. The government can go and do the other thing….

    Robert – I am getting close to the point of all out rebellion. They are trying to stick their [runny] noses into every aspect of our lives and that ain’t on.

    Baino – You had better come over quick, and move in with our K8 🙂

  20. “…we had finally shifted the worst of the weather over to America.”
    So that’s where all this rotten snow (10 inches came from). I am so happy that we were able to ship Bing and Frank to Ireland for you!

  21. Linda – Don’t worry about Bing and Frank… Two shotgun shells through the loudspeakers put paid to them.

    Pity you can’t do the same with the snow 😉

Hosted by Curratech Blog Hosting
↑