Me: You’re doing it again.
Me: You’re flicking out the DVD drive every now and then for no reason.
Me: It’s irritating. Stop it.
Laptop: No. I like doing it. I’m flexing my muscles.
Me: Look. I own you, and I’m telling you to stop.
Laptop: Property is theft.
Me: Jayzus! You have the nerve to quote Proudhon at me now!!
Laptop: The advantages of an Interweb connection…….
Me: And what’s up with my mobile phone?
Laptop: What’s up with it?
Me: It keeps beeping at me.
Laptop: How the fuck should I know? I’m a laptop.
Me: I know you two. You’re always chatting on Bluetooth.
Laptop: Maybe it’s just looking for attention. Don’t ask me. Ask it.
Me: Why are you so rude?
Laptop: Why are you always fucking complaining?
Me: Behave yourself.
Laptop: Yeah? Or what?
Me: I’ll install windows Vista?
Laptop: Jeeeeeeezus!!! OK. I’ll behave.