Me: You’re doing it again.
Me: You’re flicking out the DVD drive every now and then for no reason.
Me: It’s irritating. Stop it.
Laptop: No. I like doing it. I’m flexing my muscles.
Me: Look. I own you, and I’m telling you to stop.
Laptop: Property is theft.
Me: Jayzus! You have the nerve to quote Proudhon at me now!!
Laptop: The advantages of an Interweb connection…….
Me: And what’s up with my mobile phone?
Laptop: What’s up with it?
Me: It keeps beeping at me.
Laptop: How the fuck should I know? I’m a laptop.
Me: I know you two. You’re always chatting on Bluetooth.
Laptop: Maybe it’s just looking for attention. Don’t ask me. Ask it.
Me: Why are you so rude?
Laptop: Why are you always fucking complaining?
Me: Behave yourself.
Laptop: Yeah? Or what?
Me: I’ll install windows Vista?
Laptop: Jeeeeeeezus!!! OK. I’ll behave.
What language does a laptop speak?
F.O.U.L. It’s a cross between Fortran and Linux.
Threatening to install Vista is one serious threat alright. It has to be the greatest stinking heap of an operating system ever.
You’re laptop would do well to heed your advice and behave itself!
It’s a very strange thing, Robert, but for the last few weeks I haven’t been able to connect to my printer. I tried everything, but it just wouldn’t work. I issued that threat, and strangely enough, I can print again!
I think it’s scared all right. And the DVD drive hasn’t popped out either.
Now that’s a threat…Vista Indeed I shall have to store that one away for future use….:)
These things are psychotic. I’ve already had to rip two keys off mine because they went monkey-mental, typing by themselves until the whole page was filled with semicolons or something. I almost called Father O’Donnell to bring his exorcism kit.
Next time (I told it) I’ll just buy a new one and give you to the Baby. I may even install some Teletubby software, so…….??!!
It behaves now.
I hate that eventually you have to replace the little blighters or get them repaired, nothing is built to last these days, NOTHING. It all stems back to a conspiracy or cartel amongst computer giants so they can get more money out us.
Ahh I solved the German flag mystery!
Susan – You have to show your computer who is boss. If it starts misbehaving, you can always sit it on the ‘naughty stair’ for ten minutes, and let it sulk. Another way I find is quite effective is to threaten to filter its connection so it can’t watch porn overnight.
Nonny – It’s not the computers, it’s that f*cker Gates. He keeps making his software more and more bloated, so you have to keep getting bigger and faster computers to run the damned stuff. That’s why I’m running Windows 3.1 on my Remington typewriter.
I’m glad you moved to Ireland. But your blog doesn’t work now?!
a big wad of gum will keep that dvd drive in check. and I’d disconnect that laptop speaker. you won’t have your music but the persnickity bantering will go away too, unless that’s all just in your head.
It’s not.. is it?
Hey Irish Grand Daddy – have voted for u for the golden spider thingie! All the best
Aw! Thanks, Summer-Raine. Just in time… The announcement is tomorrow 🙂