Job wanted
I really have had enough of this.
I have been struggling with this web design business now for a few weeks, and it just isn’t me.
I have also been struggling with the Interweb thing and it’s annoying me. People keep sending me invites to Social Networking sites that they swear aren’t Social Networking sites, but it turns out they are. And people keep sending me Memes that drive me insane.
My computer is beginning to get ratty too. It’s starting to give out to me every morning. There’s nothing wrong with it physically [apart from a bit of fluff under the keys], but it’s just getting bad tempered. Like me.
So I’m quitting.
I want a new job to pass the time.
I’m quite good at a lot of things, though I’m not up to much physically, as some of the important bits have fallen off.
The old brain is still reasonably functional. I can do crossword puzzles, and my highest score on Minesweeper [Expert level] is 98 seconds. I’m not a bad shot. I’m very kind to animals, but not humans. I have to work from home, because I’m damned if I’m going to put up with that iniquitous smoking ban thing. There must be some job out there that I’d be good at.
I need something that doesn’t require any effort but makes a lot of cash.
I thought of being Taoiseach, but I’m not devious or corrupt enough for that. Even I have standards.
I thought of becoming a tribunal lawyer. But that means going into Dublin a couple of times a year, and I hate Dublin.
Has anyone got any ideas?
I don’t want to end up like this….
and whats wrong with me?
I have me can and me smoke!! I’m nearly half pissed!!
huh, what more do you want?
Fair play, Tony. Always look on the bright side. But I prefer Guinness, and the pipe.
You could always ask the gang building next door if they need someone to give a hand. I’m sure they might need a new employee seeing as they are a bit shorthanded!
Too physical and noisy. I like the quiet life. Anyway the neighbours still aren’t talking to me…..
Well, if you want you could help me out with what I’m doing at the moment. It’s driving me nuts because it is incredibly monotonous. It’s a bit close to what you are used to though. After a hardware failure on a colocated web server, I’ve been drafted in to sort things out (which I have managed to do) but now I’m in the middle of restoring 400 or so websites. It’s taking for ever……………….
I say I want to get away from the web business and he offers me 400 websites to restore!!!!!!
Nah! I’m well into restoring them now. I’m on sites beginning with ‘ph’. Only a few more hours to go.
All the photographic sites?
Don’t worry. You have the pornographic sites to look forward to! ๐
Apply to be the next person on the talking clock.
At the next stroke….
But don’t have one!
I’m almost on Q. It won’t be long now.
If the job is nearly finished, then I’ll take it!
Grannymar – I wrote the other day how I don’t even know the day of the week, let alone the time. And my clock here is broken anyway.
You could always write, produce and direct pr0n. It’s relatively simple, costs are low, revenue is fair. Make a few hundred flicks a year, and you should be fairly well off. Another bonus is you can deduct a large quantity of various pr0n related items on your tax bill. Just to see the tax people’s faces.
Hi Dalif, and welcome. Thanks for the nice write up too [and I’m not a schoolgirl BTW – the grandchildren would find it too embarrassing].
pr0n is not a bad idea. I could get Herself in on the act. And seeing as the most popular search term for this site is ‘senior pr0n’ I’m halfway there already.
Not only could I baffle the taxman, but I might be entitled to some free samples? This bears thinking about……..
well Grandad Maybe nipple clips are a write off
you know what? you could earn money from home AND end looking that that fine specimen of an
drunkindividual!that’s right – just sign on to do Tech Support. You have all the qualifications needed: 1) computer savy, 2) a phone line and, 3) [this is most important] an abiding hatred of fools.
It’s YOU!
p.s. – let me know what concern you end up employed by so I don’t accidentally end up calling you.
I don’t require anything of you. Just saying “Hi!”
Sean – Not necessarily ๐
Doc – Actually, I confess, that is me. I just wanted to see if anyone recognised me in my ‘Sunday Best’.
Tech Support is out – I don’t speak Polish / Lithuanian / Estonian / Swahili or whatever.
Diane – Hi ๐
Now that’s a comment I like. Friendly, and it doesn’t require too much thought on my part. Thanks, Diane.
Grandad,
That Geezer appears to be drinking Carlsberg Special Brew and to have a suspiciously thick looking roll up in his right hand – he would seem to have income sources other than the social welfare. Why didn’t you ask him what he was doing to supplement his income?
Welcome home, Ian!
That was a clever bit of Photoshopping on the can. You’ll have to forgive the spliff – I’d mislaid my pipe [again]. The spliff was home-grown, so it didn’t cost me anything.
Well I have a garden that need a bit of doing… so how about garden design.
I like those tall blue flowered poppies you have. And those little geranium type plants in your greenhouse would be lovely.
Lovely idea, Will. I can do you a very nice garden – one that is a pleasure to sit in and is completely environmentally friendly. You might even turn a profit on it.
Your garden isn’t overlooked by anyone is it? [though I believe the b*st*rds use spotter helicopters these days!]
Dude, I think you want to be a housewife.
I’ve found that it pays handsomely and one everyone’s outta the house it’s pretty easy.
Plus, you’d have free time to shoot the occasional tourist.
I thought the old guy in the photo WAS you.. now I’m confused..
Sue – I already do the vacuuming, washing up, cooking, washing clothes, cooking and general tidying, while herself ‘takes a rest with a book’. What more do you want me to do?
Rhodester – A newcomer to the Motley Crew, and welcome! Am I, or am I not a handsome chap?
indeed, and having just read the post posted after this post was posted (that’s American English for you), I must say..
..you damn well better NOT end it now! I just found you.
You could be a spammer. You could work at home.
I already am, Rhea. I spam peoples feed readers. I fill their inboxes on a daily basis with violence, drugs and profanity. It’s called Head Rambles.
๐
Holy crap a dee.
Herself is a genius.
No she’s not. She used to play tennis, and still has a murderous swing with a frying pan.