All right, children?
You have had your nap, so I will continue my story……..
The villagers had a merry time that night, and they feasted, and drank and sang their merry song.
The next morning they did feel a little weary and somewhat hungover.
Suddenly a cry went up – “The Monster is coming! The Monster is coming!”.
Immediately Michele, the Black Knight rode forth. He was feeling strong now for the people of the whole world had heard the story, and were behind him.
“What to you want now?” cried the Black Knight.
The Monster [who was now calling himself James Mailley – he does that to confuse people] bowed before the Black Knight.
“Oh Michele!” he cried. “I have done wrong in throwing tins of spam at your people. I realise that now. Anyway, it wasn’t me. It was someone else who said he was me. I am sorry!” He burst into tears.
The Black Knight was a good man at heart, and not at all lower class. He felt sorry for the Monster.
“That is all right” He cried. “But don’t f*cking do it again!”
The Monster promised to be good, and the people cheered. They went back to their drinking and merry making, and had a large feast of baked Spam.
The Monster crawled back to his cave. He was not happy. He cheered himself up with a meal of roast John Burns and followed it up with a Pedro Luciani flambée
And everyone lived happily ever after.
Except John Burns.
And Pedro Luciani.