A change in voting patterns
The doorbell rang a few minutes ago.
I went to see who it was.
A very nice young couple with clipboards, who are updating the Electoral Register.
Now most of the people around here are away or out, and I was one of the few people they found actually in residence.
I put on my most trustworthy, ‘Grandad knows best’ face and told them not to worry, that I’d update them on all the people around here. They were very relieved, because it was raining, and it would save them a lot of knocking on doors.
So we sat down and went through the list. I had to make a few changes for them, because there has been a lot of coming and going since they last made the list.
I now have an extra five sons, and four daughters living at home and all of voting age.
My next door neighbour is now Micheál Loch and the house across the lane is owned by Finn and Mary McCool.
I told them that the people at the back of my property had moved to Spain on a permanent basis [unless of course the warrant is quashed on appeal]. I said that the new owners depended on the Criminal Assets Bureau, who had seized the property.
It should be interesting, come the next election.
And between herself and myself, we have an extra nine votes.
As we like to say here in America, Grandad’
“VOTE EARLY AND OFTEN”
That’s strange, Nancy. We say that here too! We have a population of 4 million and an electoral turnout of 6 million 😉
And they didn’t smell a rat about the family size? Or is that the normal family size in your neck of the woods?
You mean you can actually find someone worth voting for who isn’t having their pockets stuffed with banknotes?
Nick – I can be very convincing and persuasive! As for the next election? You never know. I might stand myself!
😉
Grandad,
Finn McCool has an address on Iona Road, Dublin 9 – or he did on the letters page of Thursday’s Irish Times when he wrote to Madam Editor about traffic congestion – that wasn’t you was it?
Your next task is to produce the identification documents for the nine voters!
We had a census last year and because I live in a ‘shared’ household . . the other side didn’t incorporate three of us on the form . . arrrgh. . .we don’t exist . . .but my evil plan is to oppose their votes in the upcoming election (I so know what they’re gonna vote) so their votes won’t matter . . .ingenious . . . um . . but then my vote won’t matter . . .awww . . .politics makes my brain hurt!