The Managing Director
Munitions R Us
Harrisburgh
PA
USA

Dear Sir,

I would like to acknowledge receipt of 500 of your Ranger Mk I Anti-SUV Smart Missiles.

We have conducted preliminary tests with these and have found them to be eminently satisfactory.

They were able to distinguish SUVs even on crowded motorways.

In particular, we would like to say how impressed we are with your use of fuel-air explosive. Not only does this vaporise the missile but also the target vehicle as well, thus leaving no trace of the incident, and an intact road surface.

Our R&D Department has examined your product and is extremely impressed with the standard of manufacture.

We would suggest one or two minor improvements however.

We have discovered that if you modify Integrated Chip I377 by short-circuiting legs 34 and 39, and introduce a 5pf capacitor between leg 16 on I29A to chassis, the missile is also capable of seeking out and destroying Jedi. We thought you might like to incorporate this in future production models.

We are currently close to a modification that will seek out and destroy supporters of George W.

We would like to place a preliminary order for a further 1,000 [one thousand] of these missiles to be dispatched forthwith.

Looking forward to doing continuing business with you,

Yours faithfully,

Grandad