Will someone please explain to me what this iPhone and iPod thing is all about?
Surely a phone is a phone and a pod is where you get peas?
Everyone seems to be blogging about them as if they are some great essential to life like vitamins or tobacco. There are people frantically posting about iPhones and the best one to get and how the one they just got doesn’t work. And I don’t understand the craze for iPods at all.
I gather that iPods are something to do with listening to music? Why? Why do people have to listen to music all the time? Can people no longer function without some racket going on in their ears? Can people not enjoy the silence of their own thoughts? Or do the kids of today not have thoughts any more?
And iPhones? I gather this has something to do with getting the Internet on your phone? This is crazy! Has modern society become so hooked up on technology that they can’t exist without instant access to their e-mails or the latest news?
If I want the internet, I fire up my PC. It’s great. I can do my shopping, or research the latest disease that Herself thinks she has. I can bore the pants off people by scribbling in my blog. But why would I feel a sudden need to order my groceries while sitting in the bus on the way to work? My e-mails can wait. They are mostly Cialis, Viagara, Penis Enlargements and Britney Spears giving blowjobs anyway.
If I want to listen to music, I’ll turn on the radio. If I don’t have a radio with me, I’ll listen to the sounds around me. I’ll think. I’ll meditate. I’ll ponder the meaning of life. I don’t need a constant roar in my ears. The tinnitus takes care of that anyway.
I see ads now urging you to subscribe to services where they will send you the latest news headlines or the latest scores. Is you life so shallow that you are incomplete if you don’t know that someone has just scored a goal? Are you going to whither and die because you didn’t hear immediately that Bertie Ahern has been telling more lies, or that George W has just waged war against Sweden?
Come on, people! Unhook yourselves from technology and become human beings again.
Unless of course you’re reading this post on your Blackberry.
In which case, it’s all right.