I regret the day I ever joined Facebook.
It’s a car-crash site. I don’t want to look but I feel the compulsion to peek in every now and then to see what’s going on.
The worst thing about it is the invites. I have been invited to play Scrabble and poker. I have been invited to flower shops and candy stores [presumably ‘sweet shops’? Bloody Americans]. I have been given numerous invitations to weird things.
The problem with all these invitations is that I have to install the bits first. It’s a bit like a mate inviting me for a pint, and then telling me I have to build the pub in my garden first. And if I do install the application, it promptly sends invitations to all my contacts, who are in turn p*ssed off with me.
Now don’t get me wrong. I have made a couple of very nice contacts on Facebook [you know who you are!], but I just don’t have the time for it. It is a full time job following up friends of friends to see if I might get on with them. And then if I do find someone, I’m to embarrassed to poke them.
I see Facebook as being a bit like Wembley Stadium, packed with a vast crowd. I know a few faces and I chat to them. They then move on with another crowd. So I, as usual, am the lone figure standing on the sideline with my pipe in one hand and a pint in the other, and no one talks to me because I’m weird and look strange, and I’m old and smell a bit. I’m used to that.
Now there are all sorts of other sites springing up, and I’ve had invites to join them. I have only joined one other. I don’t know why I did, because it is utterly useless to me. It’s called Where Are You Now. Now, if I set up a profile on WAYN, my location would be HERE. Because I rarely go anywhere. I’m not a world traveller, like some of you. Most members have flags dotted all around the world. I would have one flag, and that would be sad.
WAYN e-mails me every now and then and tells me who is coming to Ireland and when. It tells me their nationality and their name.
And that allows me to set up my ammunition dumps in good time.