You are not reading this
Nobody reads blogs on a Saturday.
No. Don’t lie to me. I have the figures to prove it.
In fact I can tell what you are all doing during the week by looking at my statistics.
Monday is a relatively quiet day, because you are all hungover and p*ss*d that it is Monday again. And you have to set out all the work that you are supposed to do during the week. So blogging is not particularly high on your list.
Tuesday is a more typical day. Nothing happens from one in the morning up to nine. Well, I’m sure a lot goes on, but it isn’t going to appear in my statistics. I hope.
From Nine ’til ten, you have to deal with the important stuff, like catching up on last night’s gossip, and who should have been thrown out of Big Brother and where you are going for lunch.
So the serious work of the day – surfing the Interweb starts at ten.
You surf like the clappers until lunchtime and then most of you head off to the pub. Or wherever. Though some of the more dedicated will stay at the keyboard.
After lunch, the boss is probably tanked up, and asleep in his office or screwing his P.A. or something so traffic hits a peak [probably at the same time as the boss].
By five, you all go home. But by then, the Americans are waking up. It’s their afternoon there, so they are all busy surfing away.
And so it goes until one in the morning [here] and the Americans are all going to bed or doing whatever Americans do.
You don’t believe me?
Now compare that with a Saturday, where none of you get out of the sack before one…
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
I will come and read this when I know a word with more than four l e t t…. ‘s
What day is it?
Friday. I think?
Last Friday or next Friday?
You’re right about getting up around 1 in the afternoon.
It’s now 12:28 and I’m just out of bed about 15 minutes and having my first coffee of the day.
And I also have a roaring hangover.
Grannymar – Judging by the weather, it’s the first Friday in April.
Robert – Hah! I know more about you than you think!
This is the most accurate thing I have read on the internet ever. I had much the same conversation with Little Miss Manuel the other day. Monday is slow, Tuesday and Wednesday are good, Thursday is fine. Friday falls apart by 3pm as they all slip out of the office and Saturday and Sunday it’s just me and the tumbleweeds….
Bloody part-timers, put the effort in.
I get so lonely….
I forgot to mention Friday – a distinct tail off all right. Yesterday was very quiet.
Looks like there are only a couple of us dedicated workers around at the weekend!
School’s out until September, so my week is full of Tuesdays (I wish). Alas, old folk like me wake up on autoalarm by 6 a.m. or so. Plenty of time to Ramble through Heads. Smooze on, Grandad, we’re listening!
Ah the glories of Summer Holidays! I remember them. If only we had a summer to go with them.. [There was a robin singing in the garden earlier, and he was singing his winter song. He knows!]
I’ll ramble away, even if there is no one else around. Could the last one out please switch off the lights?
The lights are already off here. Bright light = extreme pain at the moment.
Extreme pain = Hangover.
Hangover = Your own fault.
No sympathy whatsoever.
Its Saturday, I am reading, I just got up, its raining….hence I am reading!
I’m not reading this nor typing this nor sitting here in a pair of shorts nor drinking a bottle of water nor having a smoke nor wishing I could go back to bed nor listening to the radio. Some days I wonder if this interwebical thing even exists.
I hold my ear close to the laptop and can hear the lonely wind blowing through the empty canyons of aspx.
Peter – [welcome BTW!] If I didn’t know better I’d say I was ripping off your subject or you’re ripping off mine?
There must be something in the weather that is making us examine our logs.
Brianf – Maybe you are dead? Have you considered that?
Nah, it’s Murphy’s law for me. I’m all geared up for writing something. I’ve got the time, the space, even a few bottles of Coors to keep me company.
Can I think of anything to write?
Can I fuck!
Thanks for the welcome! Certainly similar veins there….I am addicted to Google analytics, its a great toy/tool/timewaster!
K8 – Write about your hangover. No doubt you have one?
Peter – Actually, the above is from Blog Tracker. At least they give live stats. I’m disappointed in Google’s new thingy. I preferred the old.
But they are time wasters. Like blogs.
Seems to be the day for hangovers.
I do not have a hangover! I’m seriously thinking about giving myself one, though.
K8 – That makes a change?
Robert – I am sorry to say I haven’t touched a drop in weeks. I hang my head in shame. No hangover….
*yawn*
good morning, son.
how is every little thing on your wee isle this fine day? i’ve just fed the girls and myself and am doing a bit of browsing – sorry to screw with your stats – while I get a second cup in me…
let’s see….what’s the topic…ah – got it.
well, not hung over, if anything feelin’ too good. had a tooth try and go north on me. called up the dentist and he can’t see me until Monday so he phoned in a pain pill prescription yesterday. seemed to improve my golf, too: shot an 84 and wasn’t but half pleased with the effort…
stats – i’m trying to let the 2 little tools on my site go about their business but it seems the more you ignore them the more they inssist on emailing you details, not at all sure why. do like the sitemeter one, though: how else would i know i have one fan on hawaii? or, at least, one persistent IP that hits me from there…
so – are you folks slipping early into fall there?
Hiya Dad!
What’s all this about dentists? Everyone seems to be having Root Canals and Suez Canals and things.
I’m still waiting for someone from Greenland to visit me. I’ve had visitors from just about everywhere else. Why not Greenland?????
Slipping into fall [Autumn!!]? No. Waiting for Summer. Or even Spring.
not sure about he late proepsity of dentists – maybe the butterfly in brazil thing?
wow – perpetual…what, not exactly a season, but wet? no wonder the whiskey is so good there…
yes, ‘fall’ – knew but have always ignored what a colloquialism that is…been saying ‘fall’ since childhood, even though we were all taught Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn.
probably a lazy way of referring to the season and it seems – now that i think about it – to be a tendancy mostly among folks west of the Mississippi. New Yorkers, for example, would refer to the season thusly:
“Nah – not fuckinsummer; it was fuckinwoodyallen, with all the leavesnshit”
LOL!
Yes – It’s always that f*cking butterfly in Brazil. Must kill the little bugger one of these days [and cause the world to end].
The one time [pun intended] that I use ‘fall’ is for the mnemonic – Clocks spring forward in spring and fall backward in autumn. I hate this summer tim-change thing
Doc,
In upstate New York, we have Winter, mud season, black fly season, and tourist season (the last two have many points of similarity).
Autumn is a lovely and fleeting thing, not to counted upon to occur yearly.
Winter lasts at least five months, but with a woodstove, Irish Mist, and batteries, it can be endured, even enjoyed. We had a Snow Day (no school) in April this year!
Diane –
i’ve been in upstate new york, liked it considerably. have a brother-in-law who’s being discharged from the navy this fall that has already bought about 30 acres in the allegheny valley area of new york – plan to rent an RV/SUV/something-bigger-than-my-car next spring and drive out…hopefully before the black fly season…
son –
yeah – one butterfly sure can make a mess of things. probably also the root cause of global warming. makes sense if you drink about it…
wait, that didn’t come out right…
People really do have better things to do on Saturday – except me.
K8
obviously the trouble is you have extremely poor tast in beer
I mean Coors?
Thats just bottled horse piss
being grandads daughter i always hoped for more from you
but on the bright side atleast its not bud
Sean – That is TAT’s influence unfortunately.
We brought her up from the age of three to drink pints of Guinness.
I’ll never forget the first time she went to the counter and bought her first round of pints. She was four at the time.
Damn you site meter!