The Americanization of Grandad — 35 Comments

  1. So it’s like Jesus’ Best Friend below – by disliking Americans, you are subconsciously admitting that …

    You are American!

  2. Aw don’t say that Daz. You depress me.

    I can’t be American.

    I hate burgers
    I spell properly [most of the time]
    I don’t greet people with “Hay” [or “Hey”]
    I say “zed”
    I never refer to people as “you guys”
    I don’t find American TV humour in the least bit funny
    I don’t abbreviate words all the time
    I don’t live in a trailer, and if I did, I’d call it a caravan, or mobile home
    I drive on the left [except after a few pints]
    I drive a car [not an auto] with a gear lever [not a stick shift] that has a gearbox

    Do you want me to go on?

  3. The number that appear to be coming from America could actually a misnomer. I’m not sure about google analytics specifically but a lot of log analysers could consider any visitor from a .com domain as being American.

    Also a lot of IP addresses that are assigned to American corporations often end up being used in other countries where those corporations have a presence. Of course here in Ireland we have our fair share of them. Also some companies with a presence might have their internet gateway in America. So those visitors could actually be Irish but routing through America.

    Isn’t the world becoming a very small place?

  4. Forgot to add that your audience is increasing because more and more people are enjoying your ramblings so keep the good work going!

  5. Actually, Google is amazingly accurate about locations. It isn’t confused by .com though there is some confusion over some service providers.

    I know our K8 is sometimes Irish, and sometimes English depending on when she dials in. And one or two others work for American companies and appear as U.S., but they are very small numbers.

    Apparently, you are in Dublin [even though you are using a .eu address to confuse me]

    And I cannot understand how people like my ramblings. Reading back on some of them, even I can’t understand them. They are embarrassing.

  6. They can’t be embarassing if so many people can identify with them 😉

    Even though I have a static IP address sometimes I appear to be from Kildare too. Despite being located very much in the sunny south east!

    The geo-location of IP addresses can only be as good as the information provided by the custodians of those IP addresses. So I think the pool of IP addresses of which I have one is belonging to an eircom operations centre somewhere up there.

    Of course it also depends on the routing of the ISP hence K8 sometimes appearing to be from the U.K. and of course B3n appearing to come from Estonia the other day which was weird indeed. Unless they were in Estonia at the time of course!

    Ok. time to stop I’m confusing myself and my hangover is only just starting to subside!

  7. Yo, ‘sup GD doood?
    We’s diggin’ on yo’s ritin’ yo!


    Howdy Grand paw!
    We’s looooooves your blog there, pardner!!

    or maybe

    Hi GD lv ur site ttly kewl
    ttyl B

    and some of us might even say….

    Hi Grandad,
    I enjoy your writing and your general attitude towards life. Keep up the good work.

  8. I think it’s because Americans are generally obsessed with Ireland. They all think they’re Irish because their mother’s cousin’s sister’s best friend’s grandmother was Irish. They even give you percentages – “I’m 1/8 Irish!” Hell, apparently Obama is from here in Offaly. That explains the neighbours! *SIGH* If America is the best country in the world, as most of them will tell you (my otherwise intelligent American husband included) then why are they so obsessed with being other nationalities? When I lived there I eventually stopped telling people I was Irish, as I really didn’t give a rats ass about their heritage which they always feel you need to hear about!

    Now don’t get me wrong – I love America – I’d move back in a heartbeat, but the whole heritage thing drives me nucking futs! NO ONE CARES!

    Anyways maybe you’re getting visits from people with Irish heritage! I know I do – people come hoping to find a corned beef and cabbage recipe only to find out we don’t eat that here! LOL!

  9. Robert – All I can say then is that there are a lot of strange people in the world!! And stop confusing me with IP Pools and things. It sounds like something on the pavement outside the local on a Saturday night.

    Brianf – I understood the last one. Thanks. Are the others Serbo-Croat?

    Deborah – I tried to work out my percentages once. I’m nearly all Irish, but there is a bit of French, English and Austrian in there somewhere. I gave up when I discovered I was descended from Napoleon.

    What the hell!! I have the pigs in the kitchen, the corned beef and cabbage is hanging over the turf fire, the diddly-eye music is playing in the background and all are welcome. Just don’t set the thatch on fire.

  10. Grandad – You have so many American visitors simply because there are more American bloggers than anywhere else in the world. We tend to consume any and everything we like in large quantities.
    That’s just a generalization and does help much.

    I read your blog, not as an American, but an individual. I read blogs that take me to other cultures, political points of view and different lifestyles. I can see my own in my everyday life. I read a blog written by a man in Chennai, India. He writes about Indian music, movies and places that I don’t understand. I have to look them up – but I do look them up and my horizons are a little broadened. He has views of American life that he thinks accurate. He can’t know never having been a part of American life, just as I can’t really understand what his life is like as an Indian. I have certain prejudices toward Islamic countries brought by the terror they have brought to my country -but I still realize that I can’t truly understand how their lives are formed.

    I don’t know your village, but when I read your observations of how your village has changed and is changing, I can very much relate them to my own little Southern American town. Very different, but very much the same.

  11. 23,000 A WEEK! I can only dream of such numbers. Well done grandad. I get more Americans than local visitors too. I’ve started saying things like vacation and gas station. I hate myself sometimes….

  12. Micki – Helps a lot. It’s lust that I can’t get my head around the thought of my meanderings being read by so many. You must remember that I was brought up in the days when you had to book a telephone call to America!

    Manuel – Don’t be too impressed. 90% of them are looking for p0rn. For some strange reason Google sends all the perverts my way!

    And as punishment for the other, you are to read the ENTIRE works of PG Wodehouse, and memorise them. NEVER, EVER use words like ‘vacation’ and ‘gas station’. It’s a mortal sin and you will go to hell.

    [I’m in religious mood after yesterday!]

  13. Any visitor who is in a US company or uses AOL as their ISP will appear as being from the US.

    You probably have a lot of US visitors coming to you via technorati etc.,

    I wouldn’t worry about it 🙂


  14. But they are suddenly on the increase. That’s what is worrying me. It’s an invasion. I need backup.

    Anyway you’re just as bad with your Movieforums. It should be Cinemaforums. Or Cinemafora?

  15. Maybe I can help. I’ll continue to read, but I’m an Irish person in America so don’t worry too much about that little flag that appears beside my name – and anyway it will be changing to the tricolour shortly so you will be plus one Irish visitor and minus one supposedly American visitor.

    You’re on a lot of blogrolls Grandad, and you’ve made it to the papers. Such attention helps. Plus you know Technorati exists; often there are good writers who don’t know such things, or maybe they don’t link liberally and so fail to catch others’ attention. You being a generous man, do not.

    Oh, and we must like what you write.

  16. Eolaí – What can I say? This is generosity beyond belief. I hope everyone takes heed of this….
    Here is a man willing to move from America to Ireland to save my soul!!!!

    Am I on a lot of bogrolls? It makes sense. Oh, sorry! bLogrolls…

    I only discovered Technorati recently. I don’t know how many of these sites work, so I’m still playing around….

  17. So you like taking the back off things!

    Please don’t take my back off or we might all discover I am just a great big empty space.

  18. Grannymar – Sugar and spice and all things nice.

    Or maybe all those odd socks that keep disappearing?

  19. Count your lucky stars . . .I’m fortunate if I get 50 hits a day and most of them are Irish! As for commenters . . . the usual suspects. Aussie blogs are rather dull from what I can ascertain. Either the domain of the young or political/economic rants. Pity, it would be nice to blog with someone in my own timezone!

    You should be flattered, it’s a great site and well worth the daily visits.

  20. I don’t know or care about half the commenters here because I’ve never seen them before, but it proves your point.

    And you told me 15000 a day! Lies!

  21. O say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
    What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
    Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight
    O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
    And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air
    Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;

    O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
    O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

  22. Oh,beautiful for spacious skies,
    For amber waves of grain,
    For purple mountains majesty,above the fruited plain.
    America, America
    God shed His grace on thee,
    And crowned thy good with brotherhood,
    From Sea to shining Sea!

  23. Brianf and Nancy….

    Sinne Fianna Fáil
    A tá fé gheall ag Éirinn,
    buion dár slua
    Thar toinn do ráinig chugainn,
    Fé mhóid bheith saor.
    Sean tír ár sinsir feasta
    Ní fhagfar fé’n tiorán ná fé’n tráil
    Anocht a théam sa bhearna bhaoil,
    Le gean ar Ghaeil chun báis nó saoil
    Le guna screach fé lámhach na bpiléar
    Seo libh canaídh Amhrán na bhFiann.

    P.S. I prefer Nancy’s – less violent, fewer bombs and rockets

  24. americans get such short holidays they don’t know what to do with themselves when they do get them so they go on line to somewhere exotic ……… ireland and they come across someone like you and are enchanted with the real irish blog they have come across…the authentic irish bog man………..only trouble about that is they’ll start saving to come here and you’ll have daniel o’donnell type queues to visit the real irish homestead!

  25. Daz – I never said 15,000 a day. Lies.

    Cooper – That is the first time I have ever been called an “authentic Irish bog man”. I don’t know whether to be flattered or to mark you as spam. I don’t mind them queuing outside my door. I have plenty of ammunition.

  26. You? A bog man?

    Try living in Cavan for 18 years with a mart every Thursday and we’ll soon see who’s the bog man.

  27. Grandad,

    I just know that the words you wrote in Irish would be beautiful to read if only I could read them.
    Do you feel like doing the writing again, only this time in English?

  28. Nancy – It sounds a lot better in Irish!! Like a lot of anthems it’s all war and sabre rattling…..

    Soldiers are we
    whose lives are pledged to Ireland;
    Some have come
    from a land beyond the wave.
    Sworn to be free,
    No more our ancient sire land
    Shall shelter the despot or the slave.
    Tonight we man the gap of danger
    In Erin’s cause, come woe or weal
    ‘Mid cannons’ roar and rifles peal,
    We’ll chant a soldier’s song

    Jefferson – Of course I love you all [except George W]. I just don’t want to be one of you

  29. Grandad,

    Thank you for taking the time and effort to write out the words in English.

    I loved reading them. Even if it is sabre rattling, it’s about your Country and your feelings toward your homeland.

    God Bless Ireland and America!

  30. Nancy,

    I will confess that there was very little typing involved. The glories of the computer – cut and paste!!

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