The Devil Wears Prada but doesn't speak English — 19 Comments

  1. At this rate Grandad I might outlive you!

    No need for Prozac in this house as I have no TV. Life is wonderful. If I want to watch a film I do so on the computer.

    As for news I get that as it happens on the net, and if I miss somethingthere I catch up with it in the blog world.

  2. For some reason your post reminded me of the Rolling Stones’ song, Paint It Black. Don’t know why.

    And have you ever tried ordering printer ink off Dell? The Indian guys who answer the phone would make the guy you dealt with sound like Kevin Myers.

    And if you did say half that stuff, I would have loved to have been there.

  3. You know me, Dario. I’m as honest as the day is long. I’m a bit insulted that you should doubt my word.

    Actually, I did remove quite a bit, as it wouldn’t have been fit for public publication. As you may have gathered, I got a little annoyed.

    I’m sure if you write to Sky and ask them for the tapes you can hear the unedited version…

    “All our call are recorded for training purposes”

    They can use that tape in their lesson “How to really piss off a customer and get them to rack up large phone bills”.

  4. Grandad, what a marvellous account of your clearly traumatic experience. After working in a few call centres myself, I know Dickhead’s type! These idiots cause so much work for the complaints managers, just because they are unable to listen to the customers and just press on with the script or whatever else stuck in their head from the training.

    Having said that, in general if you have a problem with a call centre it’s usually the company’s fault and not the individual agent’s.

  5. Yes. I know I’m being a bit unfair on Dickhead. Of course it is Sky’s fault. They are the ones using cheap labour.

    Companies like to be able to quote figures like “We have 500 people in our Call Centre, awaiting your call”. What they don’t say is that 495 of then can’t speak the language.

    Dickhead was doing his job just as the cheapskates in Sky trained him. As you say, he was working off screen prompts. But screen prompts don’t work if the customer strays off the norm. He was left floundering and I was left steaming.

    But he still should have been able to understand my spelling of my address?

  6. Of course he couldn’t understand it! Most of those Asian languages don’t even have the same alphabet as us. The Japanese alphabet doesn’t distinguish between r and l sounds, for example. Hence the expression Engrish.

  7. Exactly Dario,

    Grannymar told us not long ago of the Asian man who was upset because he thought he was being cheated in a money exchange. The clerk told him he wasn’t getting all he expected because of “fluctuations”
    His reply? “Fluck you white people,too!

    And I mentioned the Japanese man who told me he couldn’t find his car because he couldn’t see well and I asked if he had a cataract and he replied, “No I drive a Rincon.”.

    They both work at call centers.

  8. Trying to explain that you have no house number but a ‘townland’ is a tough one alright. And thats not starting on the zip code…

  9. Ah! But I do have a ZIP code….

    0 or 00 or 000 or 0000 or however many damn zeros it takes for me to order something on-line.

  10. Only forty prozac, Grandad? I would’ve downed the entire bottle. Unfortunately, I have to deal with these Indian/Asian/Whacko types on a daily basis.

    Dario, I know all about the nuts at Dell. I hate calling them effing people!

    And we call this progress. Huh!


  11. Imagine the fun I have when two lines after my name (Townland and County) will get to me the fastest. A lot of web forms don’t like that at all.

    Where I’ve had more fun with people like Dickhead is that I slip into a fairly strong Kerry accent when I get angry, and Dickhead has even less of a chance of understanding me. And so starts the vicious cycle of me getting more pissed off, and Dickhead getting more frustrated :/

    I usually end up hanging up and trying for someone with a clue. Or if they really really annoy me, I ask for a supervisor.

  12. I used to be polite to the myriad of foreign telemarketers that we get calling right on dinner time but now, I can guage the delay and just hang up. We’re even getting a national register up and running by May to stop them.

    Shame Douglas Adams’ Babel Fish are a thing of fiction . . . I tried it once with a fish shaped sushi sauce container but nup, still couldn’t understand a word they said . . .

  13. Telemarketers are a different kettle of fish altogether.

    Just ask them for identification before you speak to them. That always confuses them!!!

  14. Baino,

    I tend to try not to be an ass to them, but if they don’t have any clue and I don’t seem to be getting anywhere, I do tend to get pissed off.

    I will usually hang up the phone rather than loosing the plot. The one time I haven’t, I have been told since that my rant is now used by the company in question as an example of how not to let things go 🙂 The only thing in my defense for that outburst was that I was waiting 2 days for a 4 hour response and lots of people where getting very annoyed and looking to me for answers.

  15. “Put me on to your fucking supervisorâ€? says I.

    “Ze film is bookedâ€? says he. “I am sorry if I hurt youâ€?.

    “Not half as sorry as I am that I can’t hurt youâ€? says I and I hung up.

    Ten minutes later, we switched on to watch the film.”

    That Showed Him ! You put him in his place nice and firmly there. Maybe we should start a campaign to treat all call centre staff like that. We might all get better service then. They might even start employing native English speakers. Then everything would be better and we could all see our special films when WE wanted.

  16. Grandad

    I feel your pain.

    I dealt with Dickhead’s cousin who works in Sky’s accounts department not so long ago. It was one of the most frustrating experiences I’ve ever had!


  17. Una,
    Unfortunately it didn’t show him! He had still managed to screw things up so that I had no film, but was charged for it. Luckily we sorted it in time.

    Are you sure it wasn’t Dickhead himself? They probably float him around the place to piss people off.

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