Mind blowing laws

They are talking about decriminalising cannabis here.

This is possibly the most vague pronouncement yet from our Glorious Gubmint, which is famous for its hot air, lies and spin.

They say they are going to decriminalise, not legalise the stuff.  Now in theory, that means they are to remove all laws relating to cannabis, rather than introduce new ones.  I can't see that happening.

And what are they going to decriminalise?  Growing the stuff?  Supplying?  Using?  Knowing our lot, they'll decriminalise the use, but keep a ban in place for growing and supplying so you are free to smoke your spliff but you can't get one to smoke in the first place.

Our new Minister for Drugs says that he tried drugs [presumably cannabis] when he was a student but had not taken any illegal drugs.  He slides around this by saying he was in Amsterdam at the time, which shows just how daft the legal system is.  Smoke in Amsterdam and you're fine, but do the same thing here and you're a criminal.

He also says that he believes that "someone who has an addiction issue should be dealt with through the health system and not the criminal justice system".  I completely agree, but how does he reconcile this with our current anti-smoking laws?  They are forever spouting that Nicotine is so fucking addictive [more addictive than Heroin!] so why are smokers treated like criminals?

All in all, a lot of hot air and confusion.  I more than suspect that this is just a new minister trying to get his name  the papers.

I wish he'd make his plans clear though.

Us horticulturalists have to plan ahead.


Celebrating Earth Day

I am quite annoyed.

No one reminded me that yesterday was International Rip the Piss out of Treehugger Day.

It was late last night when I noticed the activity on Twitter where people were wittering on about #earthday.

Twitter of course is the perfect breeding ground for these people.  They were all there wishing each other a Happy Earth Day and singing the praises of Gaia.  One bloke announced that he had switched off his lights for an hour.  Someone should have told him he was celebrating the wrong event, but in the world of the braindead they probably didn't notice.  All in all, it was quite nauseating.

Naturally there were those spouting out horribly banal little quotes that in their addled minds are going to change the future of mankind.

"The world is a beautiful canvas and the people in it can sometimes be shitty paint blotches.  Don't be a shitty paint blotch.  #earthday"

The world is not a fucking beautiful canvas.  It's a lump of fucking rock and iron spinning around the solar system.  And if I'm a paint blotch, then I am a work of fucking art so don't call me shitty, you little twerp.

I was going to celebrate Earth Day today.  Belated, perhaps but I like to do my bit.  I was thinking of felling a few trees, or maybe flushing the septic tank into the local river [mid you, most of it leaks there anyway].  I could have burned a few tyres or some old plastic I have in the garage.

No need though.  Mother Earth celebrated Earth Day in her own inimitable fashion, giving the royal two fingers to the Treehuggers.

That should do some nice things to the environment?

When did you stop beating your wife?

This is a really good week.

Two online polls in two days.

Yesterday's was a piffling yes, no or maybe, whereas today's is one to really mess around with.

They want to know all about our drinking habits, with the objective of proving that we are all serial binge drinkers. 

Survey: Did you drink too much last week?

So, before we even open the page we see that they have decided what is "too much".  They have set their arbitrary line and we are to be ashamed if we cross it.  The finger wagging starts before we have even answered the first question.  They divide us into just two groups – male and female – and conveniently ignore such trivial matters as weight, height or alcohol tolerance, all of which vary wildly across society.  So whether you are a six foot six rugby player or a four stone midget [sorry – Person of Restricted Growth] then six units and you're a binge drinker.

So six units is binge drinking? Now six units according to them is three pints of beer [they don’t mention stout], so three pints is my limit and after that I'm in serious trouble?  Are they fucking serious?  I wouldn't cross the road for three pints.  That's merely an warm up for the evening ahead.  I'd spill that much on the way back from the bar and not turn a hair.  Now if they had said three days, I would take 'em more seriously.  Who are these sanctimonious cunts with their six miserable units and their wagging fingers?

Naturally I had to have some fun with their little poll. 

Having posed as a pretty heavy drinker for a few rounds, I decided to enter as a teetotaler.  So I am a male, aged between 25 and 39, I drank on no days and drank no units in the previous week and was immensely surprised at how much I drank.  But then comes the kicker –

How many units did you consume on your heaviest day of drinking?

Now my hypothetical person drank nothing but do they supply an option for that?  Oh no.  So to complete the survey I am forced to admit that I drank between one and five units.  So my teetotaler friend suddenly becomes a binge drinker and a secret lush to boot.

This is typical of these so called "surveys".  They have a preconceived notion [everyone drinks too much] and couch their questions accordingly.  It is the classic "when did you stop beating your wife" paradox.  It is impossible to answer unless you conform to their suspicions.

The results are supposed to be published tomorrow [they said that yesterday too] and they should be interesting.

I had a bit of spare time last night so I think they'll find an inordinate number of under-18 females who drink over 31 units every day of the week [and who weren’t in the least surprised], and who binge drink every night of the week but would typically drink more.

A staggering result?

Going through the motions

If there is one area where the EU excels, it's in producing standards.

There are standards now for just about every aspect of life, from food through to the buildings we live in.  Everything seems to have to conform to some fucking EU standard or other, which just makes life more tricky and expensive.

To confuse matters even further, they keep changing those standards, invariably making them more rigorous and therefore more difficult to achieve.

There is a big hoo-hah here at the moment because Irish beaches have passed the new EU safety standards.  So fucking what?  The beaches were safe enough to swim at under the old standards so why get into a tizzy over passing the new ones?  It's like there was some crazy competition or something.

In the Good Old Days there were no standards.  I remember the glory days where people would swim at the Forty Foot in Sandycove where is was not uncommon to find the odd turd bobbing around in the waves.  In fact swimming at the Forty Foot was colloquially referred to as "going through the motions".  Probably a few people came down with a bug or two but generally, if the water wasn't too savoury on the day then people just didn't swim.

How times have changed.

I saw a poll on the subject of the new swimming standards.  Naturally I cast my vote [I don’t swim, but I like to vote just to confuse the polls].  The results saddened me.  A whopping 66% wouldn't dare swim if the beach didn't meet the new standards.  Do these people know what the standards are?  Do they know what the old standards were?  Of course not but the mere mention of EU safety standards has them running for the bunkers.  They seem to think that somehow the standard marks the absolute demarcation point between "perfectly safe" and "absolutely lethal".

The sad thing is that it shows how far people have gone down the road of relying on others to do their thinking for them.  Something doesn't meet an arbitrary standard set by some overpaid twat in Brussels so therefore it is de facto deadly.

If standards are so fucking important, how come I have to bring a plug adaptor any time I go to France?