Nanny State encourages canibalism

Those mean minded health obsessed busybodies have their targets set on grandparents now.

'Granny factor' link to obesity in children

Why can't they just fuck off and leave us alone?

Where are these obese children anyway?  "One-in-four Irish children is already overweight or obese by the age of three" they shrill but I haven't seen any of 'em.  Are they all stacked up on shelves somewhere in some gigantic Amazon warehouse?  Babies tend to be a little on the pudgy side anyway so calling a three year old "obese" is just nonsense, deliberately designed to whip up enthusiasm for their "cause".

Even if the kids are a bit overweight anyway, it is none of their damn business.  How I treat my grandchildren is between me, the kids and my daughter and anyone who thinks they have a right to tell us how to behave seriously deserves a crowbar through the teeth,

One of the joys of being a grandparent is indulging the grandkids a little.  When they come here, they have a fine time playing in the garden, exploring in the woods and getting stung by nettles.  When it comes near going home time we feed 'em loads of sweets, chocolate bars and sugary drinks.  If we get the timing right, the sugar-rush hits just as their parents come to collect them.  Great fun.  We all have a ball [except maybe the parents].

"Grandparents naturally enjoyed giving treats as they had grown up in an era when they were a much rarer occurrence, said Ms Foley-Nolan."  Talk about fucking stereotyping!  I suppose all grandparents were poor as kids as we all grew up during the war?  Bollox!  There were plenty sweets around when I was a kid and I was healthy enough.  There were fat kids and skinny kids and everyone minded their own business and no one, least of all the state would have gone around pointing fingers.  This "obesity epidemic" only started within the last couple of years anyway.  Five years ago, no one had ever heard of it, but suddenly all children are "obese"?

"'An element of indulgence is reasonable and healthy, but we'd encourage grandparents to also do other things – such as playing games with children, or cooking with them,' she said."

You can encourage all you like and I shall ignore you because it it none of your fucking business.

As for the last bit – I tried that.

They won't fit in the oven.

Offensive laws

So they have struck down the law of "offending modesty"?

Damn fucking right.

I would go so far as to say that it is impossible to offend modesty or anything else for that matter.  There should be no such thing as "giving offence".  "Taking offence" is a different matter but that's up to the individual.  People can hurl all sorts of insults at me and that's their prerogative.  It's entirely up to me whether I choose to be offended by it.  In fact they don't even know what I might take offence to.  Take for example the word "slope"?  To me that means something that isn't level, but apparently others take grave offence to the use of the word.  That is insane and utter bollox.

Then there is the pair who brought the case to the High Court.

Mr Curtis removed his penis from his trousers as groups of females walked past him.  Maybe he fancied giving it an airing?  Maybe he just forgot to zip up?  If he had removed a banana or a cucumber from his trousers would anyone been offended?  I doubt it.

Then there is the case of Mr McInerney who decided to play Bash the Bishop while sitting in his car.  Now I have wasted many hours sitting in a car while Herself is in the shop trying to make her mind up.  It is an intensely boring thing to do, and if Mr McInerny decides to pass the time by flicking off a quickie then fair enough. It is maybe not the height of good manners and I certainly wouldn't advise it at the dinner table [especially in someone else's house], but if you are offended, just look the other way.

These people who take offence so easily should just be ignored.

They're just a shower of wankers.



The end of another era

I had a moment that was tinged with a drop of sadness yesterday.

It was the end on an era.

I got a letter from my car insurance company the other day reminding me to renew my policy at the end of the month.  As usual it had hiked considerably in the last year.  That really pisses me off.

My tactic is to flit around the various companies on line and get quotes off them.  I then phone my lot, give 'em the lowest quote and threaten to leave if they don't drop my premium.  It usually works and I end up with a large discount.

My quote for this year was €494.69, for fully comprehensive and a few extras thrown in.  I spent the last couple of days trying various quotes with various on line companies that I had never heard of.  I even tried that company that has some ghastly American kid in their ads who really annoys me.  I got a range of quotes that were more or less in the ballpark of my current quote.

There was one company that I nearly missed out on.  It's the company where I have the house and our Penny insured.  I gave them a tinkle.

I got onto a very pleasant chap who had to go through reams of questions.

"How many years no-claims have you" says he.

"Forty one" says I.

"Fuck me" says he.

"Impressed?" says I.

We went through the whole lot.  Haw many years had I been with my last company?  [42]  How may points had I on my licence? [None.  Not on the one I'm using at the moment, anyway].  How many miles did I drive a year [a couple of thousand]  And so on and so on.  At the end of a very long series of questions he finally gave me a quote – €330.26.

I phoned my lot and discovered they had a faulty phone system.  I had to try about eight times before I got through.

I introduced myself and pointed out I had been a customer of theirs since 1972 [it even says that on my reminder] and that I wanted a really good deal.  She said the deal I had was the best she could offer and it took my loyalty into account.  I told her I had found a quote that was over €160 cheaper.  "Hold on and I'll check with the manager" says she and she vanished for about ten minutes.  When she came back from her discussions she offered to knock €100 off my premium.

What pissed me off was not their high premium or the fact that she was prepared to knock twenty percent off, it was the ease with which she was able to drop the premium without any concessions.  She pointed out all the benefits they were giving me.  I pointed out I was getting all those from the other company.  She ran out of steam.

I told her to cancel my account.

I'm sorry to leave a company after this length of time.  I must have been one of their longest standing customers.

But I ain't going to lash out €60 a year just for the sake of sentiment.

Climate Change and the Holocaust

I received another email from my old friend Supershadow the other day.

He didn't have much to say [which is unusual], except to bemoan the fact that he has lost his website.  He did however mention in passing that Duncan Stewart is possibly hoping to be elected to the EU, and the he hopes I will give Duncan my vote.

Duncan Stewart

Duncan pondering European policy

For those of you who haven't heard of Duncan, just count your blessings.  He is an architect or something that rose from the swamp of obscurity to become a presenter of a sort of building programme.   He then branched out [if you'll pardon the pun] into Tree Hugger territory and started presenting programmes about ecology.  He has obviously forgotten his architectural roots [if you'll pardon the pun] and now devotes his time to turning us all green and covering the entire landscape with windfarms.

He was on the radio yesterday on Newstalk FM.

Apparently our Dunc has a little bit of a thing about Climate Change.  He reckons it should be the sole topic of conversation on every radio and television station and is furious that it isn't, because, you see, the science was settled years ago.  There is no debate.  Every scientist agrees.  Like the damage smoking does.  And the Holocaust.

He seems a little confused here as he equates the Holocaust to Climate Change and Big Tobacco.  If you believe one you have to believe the others.  What he seems to overlook is that the Holocaust was an event that has eye-witnesses, photographic and film evidence, and the camps that are still there to this day.  Whereas Climate Change and Big Tobacco scares are based on junk science [i.e. loaded surveys and faulty computer models] and neither has ever been proved beyond a vested interest opinion.

Here is his interview.   It's worth a listen.  Especially coming up to the three minute mark where he has an almost complete meltdown for no reason whatsoever.  

This is the caliber of gobshite eejit and gobdaw we are sending to Europe?  God help us.

And I still want to drop a nine-inch concrete block from a great height onto our Dunc's hard hat just to see what would happen.


There is a question I sometimes ask myself.

If I had the chance through some weird miracle to relive my life, would I want to do it?

Others have asked me the same and I always have to ask them to clarify the conditions. 

Would I just be going back in time to the Fifties and reliving my life with no memory of having lived it before?  The answer to that one is a strong NO.  While I had some great times and some great experiences, there are too many bad times that I honestly wouldn't want to go through again.  And anyway what would be the point.

Suppose I were going back with the knowledge I now have?  I think the answer to that would be a YES, as I could imagine it being great fun.  Imagine a snotty ten year old doing elementary subjects with the knowledge of the future?  And then there is the fact that I would know what the future holds in store and that alone would make me a multi-millionaire [buying shares in Microsoft before Bill Gates is even born?  Heh!].

What I would really like to do though is to go back with the wisdom I have acquired through experience.  


I don't believe in regrets.  My philosophy is that if I did something wrong in the past, I did it for a good reason at the time.  It's too easy to look back with hindsight and regret something but that regret is purely down to the hindsight.  However, if I were to grant myself the luxury of one regret, it would be that I failed to have confidence in myself until it was much too late.  So reliving the past with that one factor sorted would have meant a completely different, and probably better life. 

I was a shy nervous kid.  I kept to the shadows and took any shit that was thrown at me.  I was terrified of just about everything.  Now the world holds few terrors and there is little that would scare the bejesus out of me, except maybe a signed Valentine's Card from our illustrious Minister for Health.

So if I could relive my life with the self-confidence I now have, I would certainly do it all over again.

If only I could……