Make obesity illegal

We all know that the current obesity epidemic is caused by drinking a can of Coke?

Right?

Well, the saner amongst us know that's a load of bollox and prefer to run [as it were] with the old formula: fuel in should equal energy out.  Eat more than you burn and you porkify.

Right?

Er, apparently not.

You see, they are now claiming that obesity in a lot of cases is not caused by anything we eat or drink, nor is it caused by lack of exercise.  They now say it is caused by a dodgy immune system.

Now this is great news for the pharmaceutical industry as they now have an excuse to toddle off into their laboratories and mix up their eye of newt and toe of frog, along with a soupçon of enzymes and chemicals to produce some pill or capsule to kick start our immune systems.

When they have produced their new miracle cure [which incidentally will cause blindness, complete insanity and suicidal thoughts as a minor side effect] they can then start ploughing vast sums of money into brand new charities to convince the world that the obesity epidemic is now an obesity pandemic and is going to kill three billion by the turn of the century.

And because there is now a cure, they can start pushing for obesity to be made illegal.  It will start with public transport and move on to pubs and offices but it's all for our own good.  Soon fatties won't be able to even visit public open spaces because as we all know, blubber is now denormalised and we have to protect the cheeeldren from even the sight of a pot belly or a huge arse.

Remind me to buy loads more shares in Big Pharma.

 

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Comments

Make obesity illegal — 10 Comments

  1. There is an advert on tv for Veridesk movable desktops that states "sitting is the new smoking ". Soon it will be obesity is the new smoking. 

  2. Where can I get my sticky hands on these pills? Running to keep slim is bloody hard work. And anyway, my sight is buggered and I’m already mad (Wibble). So the side effects wouldn’t be a problem.

    • Every pharmaceutical product has to go through years of rigorous testing and trials, so I imagine they'll be available in a few weeks.  It's amazing what a backhander can do?

  3. S'all Bollocks!  Calories in versus calories out sponsored by gymns, leotard manufacturers, exercise machine manufacturers, gazillions of diet recipe book authors, ditto for all the pseudo science diet inventors and celebrities out to make a fast buck on the back of it. Not forgetting all the “diet ” foods that cost a fortune and have shit nutritional value and taste like shite.  And of course, Big Pharma's miracle pills that will probaly kill folk faster.

    People put on fat for all sorts of different reasons.  Thyroid imbalance for example, insulin resistance for another, allergies for yet another.  Then there is the hereditary factor.

    Teach folk how their body works properly with proper scientific (provable) back-up and what it needs to keep it healthy then let them decide how they want to live. 

    BTW, wasn't their a report out recently that Pepsi contained carcinogens?   Wouldn't touch the muck anyway…. 

     

    • PS Vitamin D3 boosts dodgy immune systems and its out there already and dirt cheap.  Sunshine has the same effect because that's how the body makes Vit D, though sunshine seems to be in short supply these days in some areas.  Big Pharma can't patent sunshine or naturally occuring products.  How sad!   Wouldn't surprise me if they'd found a way to block out sunshine.  Maybe they're working on it??????

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