I have always loved maps.

There is something mysterious about a two dimensional piece of paper with the ability to show a three dimensional world.  And in the case of weather maps, the ability with a bit of logic thrown in to predict the future.

I became quite an expert [though I say so myself] in interpreting those old weather maps with their isobars, their fronts and their pressures.  Show me yesterdays and todays charts and I can tell you pretty accurately if you should wear a coat tomorrow or plan a picnic.

They don't go in for charts much these days – it's all fancy computer graphics showing blodges and smudges sliding across the map indicating where the rain is supposed to fall, and dire warnings of some fucking colour code that means we all have to erect dams around our houses or something.  Personally I entirely rely on just two websites – one gives me a precise picture as it is at the moment [give or take about five minutes] and the other gives me an overview of the wind.  Between the two, I can always tell when to drag the dog out for a walk without getting soaked.  I don't give a fuck about tomorrow's weather these days.

I have finally gotten used to the temperatures in Celcius [or Centigrade as I still call it] but rainfall and windspeed are almost meaningless.  If they say we can expect 5cm of rain tomorrow, I automatically convert it to two inches and get the boat ready, but they can predict 100Km gusts of wind and I'll scratch my head.  I by far prefer the Beaufort Scale.  I know where I am with that.

Apparently some doctor complained to the Met Office last year saying that the Elderly can't understand the Metric System and could they please revert to inches and miles per hour.  I can see them running with that little idea.  The EU says Metric so Metric it must be.  God has spoken and there ain't no goin' back [unless you’re in the UK!].

I also notice that the said doctor [and he's a doctor so everything he says is cast in stone] defines "elderly" as being 50 to 55 years of age.  What the fuck?  What does that make me?  Am I post-elderly?  Am I reverting to childhood already?

I hate to think that I missed my elderly phase altogether.

It's only fair to share...

#### Whether the weather — 11 Comments

1. I was writing an email at work this morning and couldn't remember if weather was the correct spelling for my context. It seems it wasn't. I wish you had written this post a little earlier.

• Heh!  Sorry.  I know people come here for various nefarious reasons, but I never thought it could be used as a dictionary.  I had better go back and check all my spellings again?

• Nice one, Frank!  It even indicates the Beaufort Scale.  Bookmarked with my other two.

2. Yes, a couple of good links there, GD. Although the first one asked me if I would like to share my location with them, and when I clicked 'yes', took me to the middle of the Aegean, which is the other side of Greece to the Ionian, where I actually am. Still, I'm sure they'll work it out eventually. The wind site is quite trippy, don't you think? A couple of good spliffs, and I could sit and gaze at it for hours…

• That "share location" thing I presume is for mobile users?  I never let 'em in anyway.

If you really want a great trip, wait until winter when the storms and hurricanes roll across the Atlantic.  Light up that fat doobie and enjoy the ride!

3. Adore maps, pore over them. Going to be doing that with naval charts too soon enough.

• My expertise with naval charts is unsurpassed.  You need a Navigator?  A First Officer?  A Bos'n? Cabin Boy?

4. I've always been some sort of half-arsed meteorologist or so I fancy.  These days I've been less enthusiastic about it but I still have several weather type websites bookmarked (local weather, precipitation, animated  weather both past and future, jet stream, etc) And now I have one for current wind conditions (your second link), thank you very much.

And I guess I'm post-elderly as well. Perhaps we can submit this as a new term?

5. Hey up Grandad, love the links mate, I don't have a tv, so my weather has to come from iplayer, which yesterday said "a couple of small showers in the morning, fine dry and sunny for the rest of the day." which when working in a wood is just how I like it. So, off I went,tools in the truck, and it pissed down all day!! So those weather links will sort me good style and iplayer can go the same way as the rest of em.

cheers bud