Now they are whinging about the poor humble potato.

Everyone knows chips are a dietary no-no. But now experts are warning that eating too much of the humble potato in any form – baked, boiled or as mash – could potentially be bad for our health. Research claims that eating potatoes four times a week could be harmful and contribute to the condition that causes strokes and heart attacks, Britain’s biggest killers.

Chips are a no-no?  Doesn't that expression conjure up fond memories of childhood where Mammy wags the fingers sternly?  "You know performing operations on your sister's dollies is a no-no?  Off to the naughty step with you now."  But then I suppose it's right that if they treat us as kids that we should be spoken to in the same manner?

I'm not particularly pushed about potatoes and certainly can't tell a Rooster from a King George.  As chief cook and bottle-washer here in the Manor I can state with authority that I very rarely cook spuds.  Chips yes, on a fairly regular basis, but the ony time I tend to use spuds is in a stew.  I can also say with complete authority [without any “could” or “potentially”] that I have every intention of forgetting the above pathetic little bit of arse dribble as soon as I press the Publish button.

I often wonder at the public reaction to these "studies".  Are there people who are so gullible and insecure that they actually suck up all this rubbish?  Do they frantically scan the morning papers and keep a ledger of all the things they must or must not eat?  Potatoes allowed only four times a week?  Dolmio sauce allowed ony once a week?  No sugar?   No salt?  Must use more Hummus?  Oh no – careful of the Hummus because it may contain salt?  Can't touch breakfast cereals as they contain half a ton of sugar?  A decent fry fo breakfast is a HUGE no-no because of all those cancers lurking under the rashers?

Life must be pretty miserable for them.  Every day their eating habits are becoming more and more restricted.  No alcohol or tobacco.  Can't use the car because everyone knows that you'll be killed in the first half mile.  Kids aren't allowed out in case they are kidnapped, raped or murdered.  Can't go out themselves in case someone is smoking in the adjoining street.  Can't stay in because there is a mobile phone mast only three miles away and God knows what that's doing to their brains. 

Life must be a constant turmoil of anxiety, not knowing what could be harmful and contribute to the condition that causes strokes and heart attacks?

All that stress can't be good for the heart?

It could lead to a stroke or heart attack.


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Avoiding the Naughty Step — 18 Comments

    • They're also part of the tobacco family.

      Bake a potato in the embers of a bonfire/camp fire and eat with lashings of butter.  Lovely!

      • Oh yes! When I do a BBQ, I always bung a few spuds in with the hot charcoal. All that yummy carcinogenic caramelised skin, and as you say lashings of butter, lots of salt… oh, heaven!

  1. Sad to say but there do appear to be many people who take this nonsense seriously. I've witnessed many earnest discussions between otherwise intelligent, well educated adults, vying with each other to steer a course through the latest rubbish without losing track of earlier rubbish. They consider it their civic duty and take great pride in finding what they believe to be a coherent picture. Especially when considering children.  

    Hilarious to listen to but at the same time utterly depressing. Any utterance by me is regarded as the ignorant, irresponsible raving of an idiot. The sort of person who has no respect for the highly qualified, professional, scientists and doctors, all experts in their fields, that publish such hugely valuable research. And the sort that denies that smoking has been proven to cause lung cancer. 

    They'd be right about that of course. 

    • It's all part of the Grand Scheme of dumbing down the herd.  Give them something to worry about and they won't worry about more important things [like how the country is being run].  I notice that nowadays, children have been elevated to the status of Gods – any time there is mention of some kind of violent incident, we are always told first how many kids were involved, as if the adults weren't that important.

      I just sit back and let them have their little worries.

  2. Kudos to the researchers for not asserting that potatoes can be distilled in a 'mash' to make poteen. Poteen, also known as dew-of-the-morning or moonshine, is not only good when ingested (drunk) but when rubbed on the skin can reinvigorate clogged skin pores, acts as a lotion and, for all I know, may reactivate hair growth on young fellas suffering from premature balding. When poured over Christmas plum pudding certain 70 over proof brews can be lit with a match and will enhance the plum pudding flavour. So the fellas on the Wicklow hills, in the bogs of Connemara and along the border drumlins of Cavan and Monaghan etc can carry on with their constructive recycling of the humble spud. Just be wary of drones – they are carcinogenic feckers.

    • I used to live between two illustrious members of our great police force [and another straight across the road].  I'm sure it was just one of those coincidences?  Anyway, the Lads down the country would have a fine time raiding stills through November and then shipping the booty up to Dublin to distribute amongst the various cop-shops.  Many's the Christmas I spent semi-paralytic on the floor after a grand party!!

    • Heh! Nice find, Ger!

      Note that the Guardian article opens with the all-time favourite of the brainwashed – "Everyone knows…..(add meme of the day – smoking kills; drinking is really bad; sugar makes you obese etc etc)". It's the fait accompli shoehorned in before the propaganda soundbite to head off any potential disagreement.

  3. In China I always enjoyed the way they shredded potatoes, mixed chopped green scallions and one or two veg like red peppers, and stir-fried on high heat, serving the dish in a vinegar based sauce. Here are photos of the finished dish. People who don't like chillies can substitute with chopped something sweeter. If Irish chefs would only learn the Chinese way of frying spuds, we would enjoy our national vegetable much more often. In China 'tudou' is the word for spud, and 'tudouse' (pronounced too-doh-zeh) is what to say to a waiter when ordering this dish.

  4. I remember reading a few years ago that there are people suffering from an ism which is the fear of eating foods of a particular colour or eating a meal if it doesn't contain at least three colours – as you'd expect it's one of the new isms brought on by Healthism.

    There was also a prog on radio about people in the wilds of USA who are convinced that they're allergic to modern living and instead have practically adopted the lifestyle of the desert fathers.  

    Neurotics, the lot of them.

    • What about the hippy communes of the flower power 1960s? Did the children grow up, go to college and end up in stockbroker leafy suburbs, and eat vol-au-vent snacks at cocktail parties?

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