The Church of the Atheist

There is a tiny church up one of the valleys near here.

I'm beginning to think I have a considerable claim to it – a sort of squatter's rights.

My father is buried in the little graveyard behind it.

Then I got married in it.

My daughter was christened in it.

My mother joined my father in the graveyard [she was dead at the time].

My daughter got married in it.

The grandkids were baptised in it.

The grandkids had their First Communion in it.

Today I trekked my way up there for the grandkids [well, two of ’em anyway] Confirmation.

I'm beginning to wonder what will come next?  There are two more grandkids a so I suppose there will be a couple of Communions and Confirmations before the wheel turns full circle and we are back into weddings again?  Or maybe funerals?

My parents had a double grave up there.  Well, actually they still have as I doubt they have moved.  When my mother died the gravedigger asked which side my father was buried.  I told him I thought it was on the left.  I was wrong.  So having dug the grave on the right hand side and discovering my father in the process he decided to drop my mother on top of him which in a strange way sort of reflected their life together in a surreal sort of way.

So there's a double grave but one half is empty while the other is double-stacked.  The gravedigger said I could have it if I liked seeing as it was vacant and paid for.  I thanked him for his kind offer but said that I wasn't quite ready for it yet.  He told me to tell him when I was ready and he'd bury me there which I thought was kind of him.

So I now consider the place to be a sort of home from home, which is just as well as I am liable to be there for a few thousand years, or until some fucking archeologist digs me up and puts me in a fucking museum.

ConfirmationPuppychild, Laughingboy and their Minder

Oh, and incidentally…..

They did publish the letter wot I wrote about yesterday.

I even got away with using a fake name and address.

Wonders will never cease.

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Comments

The Church of the Atheist — 9 Comments

  1. Did the letters editor of the newspaper deliberately censor the words of politeness Could the good Professor please tell me that originally preceded the question in the third paragraph of the draft letter in yesterday's blog post? Or did you have second thoughts and drop the polite approach to the Prof? 

    • Hah!  I didn't notice that little drop of editing.  It was indeed edited at their end, as I rarely have second thoughts in matters like that.

      • So, the 'paper of record' has censored your politeness! Ireland is headed for the gulag. They might exile you to Inisvickillane, with all computers and mobile phones confiscated.

  2. Would being licensed mean that your premises were also licensed?

    (By the way, graves in your part of the world are valuable real estate!)

    • Licensed?  If you mean do I have booze in the house, then yes.

      Regarding real estate, the grave is probably worth more than the house.  That grave is indeed valuable and they'll only take it from me over my dead body.

  3. I now have an image of you living in a whitewashed stone cottage with thatched roof from which you can see the tiny church with bell tower, beyond which is the village shop which sells Everything (have you ever found out why they keep giving you stuff?).

    • You're not far off the mark.  The cottage is indeed stone [granite] which is whitewashed [and it needs a new coat].  The roof however is slate.  The church I'm talking about is up another valley so it can't be seen [or heard] from here.  There is another church down the village and sometimes I can hear the mournful clang of its bell.

  4. I am not sure of the current practice, but in years past if you were buried in Hong Kong it was only for 5 years. After that your body was exhumed and someone else could then be buried in your former grave. 

    I'd make sure the grave digger was not offering a short term lease or worse yet a time share.

    • So what do they do with the bodies they have exhumed?  Turn 'em into bonemeal for fertiliser?  Dump 'em at sea?  Sell them as tourist artifacts?

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