I see our Dunc has solved the whole Climate Change thing.

Duncan Stewart, for those of you not familiar with him is an Irish architect who has made a name for himself for being environmentally friendly.  He is such a convert to the New Religion that he is now incapable of uttering a single sentence without including the words "sustainable", "renewable" or indeed "environmentally friendly".  He permanently wears a hard hat such is his fear of the sky falling on him.  I suspect he even wears it to bed.

He is also the only person to feature on my bucket-list as I have this tremendous desire to drop a non-sustainable, non-renewable, environmentally unfriendly nine-inch concrete slab onto his hard hat [from a great height] to see how renewable his head is.

To put it succinctly, he is an smug little wonk with an extremely irritating, patronising tone of voice.

Anyhows, as I said, our Dunc has come up with the answer that is going to save the world.

All we have to do is provide our own power, heat our own homes and walk to work.  Now this may sound like obvious old [hard] hat, but obviously you don't know our Dunc.  You see he wants each village and town to have its own generators and central source of central heating.  He doesn't say if each village has to have its own schools [primary and secondary] and its own university to cut down on travel but it wouldn't surprise me knowing him.

I really don't think he has thought this one through though.

I suppose if each village and town consisted of a single multi-story tower that contained housing, shops, schools [university?] and offices then he might have a point.  It would be a simple enough job to heat centrally and would certainly cut down on travel.  However, I am more than a little surprised that he, as an Irishman and an architect isn't aware that there aren't many villages like that in Ireland.  In fact there is a tendency for a central hub and then housing which sprawls out and spreads for miles until you reach the next village.

And then there is the niggling problem of power.

Now it's all well and dandy if you have a swiftly flowing river running through your community, but surprisingly not all villages have such a luxury.  And don't mention wind, because there are days when there is a dead calm.  You could always import power from the next village which happens to have its river, but they may need all their power for some local industry, so you'd have to be connected to several villages, in what we would call a grid ….. oh, hang on…..  Woops!  Dunc wouldn't like that!

So we would have to have a system where each village is fighting with their neighbours over who has priority for electricity or else entire communities would have constant blackouts.  All out war for power between villages and towns sounds like a bit of fun?  Unless we use sustainable, renewable, environmentally friendly candles for our cooking heating and lighting?

Talking of heating, how does that work?  Miles of heavily lagged piping laid along country roads and lanes?  Forgeddit!

Producing our own fuel for our transport?  What a load of shit!

I get the impression our Dunc would like us all to live on a sustainable, renewable, environmentally friendly planet which is more akin to Ireland five thousand years ago, where we can all amuse ourselves building portal dolmens and burial tombs?  Basically the simplest solution is to abolish the use of electricity and petrol.

I can say however that he is making his little contribution to the environment.

I save electricity by instantly switching off the television whenever he's on.


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Ireland’s solution to Climate Change — 9 Comments

  1. I imagine the leaden Dunc would make an exception of himself as regards his own large car. He'd have to keep that because he sees himself as required to get around the country lecturing the rest of us to 'renew' and 'sustain' our interest in his bullshit.

    • Good point.  Does he have one of those Noddy electric yokes [fifty miles before you have to search for a non-existent power point]?  Does he have one of those that runs off chip fat or rape seed oil [produced by very environmentally unfriendly machinery]?  I doubt it.  Good old fossil fuels for Dunc?  Unless he can prove otherwise, of course.

      • He probably drives a Toyota Prius. It's what all environmentalists drive, because it's seen to be 'Green'.

        I was amused to read somewhere a year or so ago, that in fact over it's lifetime, taking into account the manufacturing, running and disposal, including CO2 emissions etc, of said Prius, that it doesn't work out so environmentally friendly after all. Some bright spark did a comparison with a Hummer (the car that Greenies love to hate), and when all was taken into account, over the lifetime of the two vehicles, the Hummer turned out to have less environmental impact than the Toyota.

        How true that is I have no idea, but it did make me smile.

        • Looking at it from a logical standpoint, there is only one mode of transport which is "environmentally friendly" and that is walking.  Every form of vehicle has to be manufactured [costing energy and resources] and powered.  Electric cars have to involve generation [very non-eco] and any other fuel has to be processed in some way, also involving non-eco methods.

          Unless someone can design a car built out of wood and reeds, which is powered by excrement dumped straight into an inert gas extractor?

          • When Trevor Sargent was a TD for the Green Party (remember that?) he sometimes cycled to the Dail, weather permitting. The late independent socialist TD Tony Gregory often walked from his Dublin Central constituency home to the Dail without a tie – and he never claimed a shoe leather allowance. If Duncan Stewart ever takes up residence in a cabin made of clay and wattles on the Lake Isle of Innisfree, I might seriously consider retiring to a cliff cave in the County Clare.

  2. I wouldn't be too concerned right now. All of Dunc's proposals probably require some sort of planning permission, and as no brown envelopes will be changing hands for a while at least nothing (at all) is going to happen! The boyos will just sit quiet until RTE has had it's knuckles severely rapped then we'll get whatever type of energy proves the most lucrative (for you know who!).


    • Don't worry about the planning.  When the dust settles in a couple of weeks it will be business as usual, with arms sweeping piles of cash into pockets. 

    • Now why doesn't that surprise me?  He has the mean faced joyless look of a Puritan all right.  That nine-inch slab is figuring far more in my thoughts now.

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