A cure for cancer

Tall people more likely to get cancer, says study.

Jesus wept!

Can anyone tell me what use that snippet of nonsense is going to be to anybody?

Generally these "studies" are designed to provide a basis for some kind of nagging or nannying about our "lifestyles" but this one just made me laugh.  What am I supposed to do about it?  Have my legs amputated?

Cancer is caused by smoking, not smoking, alcohol, not drinking wine, breastfeeding, not breastfeeding, meat, vegetables, not having enough sex, having too much sex, breathing, masturbating, exercise, sunlight, not enough exercise and just about every single item we are likely to come across in the course of our lives.  Those with an exceptionally high level of neurosis will possibly try to follow all the "suggested guidelines" in order to prevent cancer, but I'm baffled as to how they'll cope with their height?

There is only one cause of all cancers, heart diseases, dementia and every other little nasty that the future may hold and that is birth.  Once you are born you are destined to die of something and there is no getting away from the fact.  And because it is as inevitable as sunrise there is absolutely no point in worrying about it.  Those of a neurotic disposition will attempt to thwart fate by wrapping themselves in cotton wool and not venturing out into the Big Bad World, but sooner or later Yer Man with the scythe will come knocking at the door, and all those years spent avoiding the inevitable will be wasted.

There is on course a simple way to thwart death and that is to not give birth.  You may be in for the high jump at some stage, but the kids you didn't have will be spared that end.  I can certainly guarantee they won't get cancer as it is a 100% certainty.

So there is the solution to all these researchers problems.  Castrate every male on the planet at birth and give every female a hysterectomy.  I can promise with absolute certainty that by the next generation there won't be a single death from cancer, Ebola or anything else for that matter.

And there won't be a single researcher trying to grab fame and fortune for some inane piece of research.

It would be worth the experiment for that result alone.


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A cure for cancer — 12 Comments

    • The point is that we are all ultimately fucked.  They seem determined to depress us at every turn with their dire threats of non-PC lifestyle.  The only possible outcome from their "research" is that some will worry themselves into an early grave.

  1. My dearest Grandad, a fat girl who is also tall, is by definition, either a big meaty ride or an avalanche waiting to happen.

  2. how tall is tall, and are the risks on some kind of scale?

    how do they calculate the risk for a tall pygmy.

    is it relative to everyone or just the other pygmies 


    • Good questions.  Does standing in a hole improve one's chances?  Supposing everyone just lies down, decreasing their height to a few inches?

  3. Or you could walk with a hump and crouch down a lot. Perhaps it might even be safer all around if we returned to all fours?

  4. The bottom line here is, you're born to die…period…end of statement.

    And life for that matter.

    The matter of death is thereby irrelevant. When your time comes you'll go. Even if it's by some sudden crazy desire to ferry over to Jolly Olde England, rent a car and drive of the cliffs of Dover, you'll go. And if you're tall make sure you rent a rig with plenty of headroom.

    Your next of kin will, of course, receive the bill for the loss of the rent-a-car.

    There, let the ex-spurts figure that one out.

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