An invitation to a party

Ireland has a new political party!

Isn't that exciting?

They're called…..  er……  no, they don't have a name yet.

Never mind that, what about their policies?

Um…  No.  Can't find those either.

They are very up to date though because they have a web site and a hashtag!  Wow!

Let's look at the website.

Oh dear.  Nothing there either.  Just two pages asking if I'd like to join or if I'd like to be a candidate.  Seeing as I don't know what I'd be joining or be a candidate for that would be a bit of a leap in the dark?  Nice picture though even if it is ripped off the Interweb.

Who is in it?  Apparently it's Lucinda Creighton who is an airhead bimbo and a reject from Fine Gael, and Eddie Hobbs who is an irritating little man from Cork.

Let's look at their hashtag, which also seems to be their slogan [it’s nice that they have a slogan – an excellent basis for a political party?]….  #rebootireland.

They seem to be very up to date and computery with their hashtag and empty web site.  Unfortunately, they seem to have missed the general function of a reboot which is to switch a computer off and on again to see what happens.  Having learned a smidgen about computers over the years I can tell you that if a computer is faulty, a reboot does fuck all.  You'll still have the same old computer running the same old operating system and a reboot will solve nothing.  If anything, you'll probably just make things worse and loose all your precious data.

Actually they have a point when they compare Ireland to a computer.

Ireland currently has a very old operating system which is incredibly slow, hogs enormous resources, is incredibly expensive and frequently fails to do what it's supposed to do.  A bit like Windows, actually?

What Ireland really needs is to be reformatted and a whole new operating system installed. Maybe an operating system that is lightweight, doesn't need enormous resources, is open source, fast and incredibly reliable.  A bit like Linux actually?

Brainwave!

I am going to form a new political party!!

I need a hashtag.  How about #reformatireland?

I already have a website which has tons more content.

Apparently I don't need anything else.

So I am way ahead of them already.

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Comments

An invitation to a party — 20 Comments

  1. "Maybe an operating system that is lightweight, doesn't need enormous resources, is open source, fast and incredibly reliable.  A bit like Linux actually?"

    …and totally useless ? Don't get wrong, I used various 'distros' for years and even now my back up system is whatever Mint (Ubuntu but it actually fucking works)on a USB and puppy has saved my e-bacon more times than I can remember but linux is only any use if you don't want to use any stick-on bits  made this century- printers, cameras, scanners, cell phones .

    Be like the Irish Government deciding to conduct it's entire business in Esperanto. That said, if the dope smoking, dreadlocked tossers in Brixton ever get around to brewing a new release of BLAGBLAGBLAG then I'll be downloading it…just for that original 'fighting the man' feeling.

    • To carry the analogy a bit further – to do anything in Windows you have to shell out a ton of cash for third party programmes.  Our gubmint just loves pouring money into "expert groups", "consultancy firms" and "legal advisors" to the tune of many millions every year.

      Incidentally, I have been using Mint for years now and have never had any problems with it, including printers, my camera my network or my phone.  I recently did an install of Windows 8.1 [*spit*  Long story] and had no end of trouble with drivers.

      • " to do anything in Windows you have to shell out a ton of cash "

        Do you kiss your missus with that mouth?!  Spend money…actual real cash ???!! For Shame! To continue the analogy even further Gov.ie should be going all 'Korean' and just nick what they need. I'm sure there are enough studies and 3rd Party Consultant findings out there on the net that could be pirated. How many times does any government need to pay to 'find' that smoking makes Baby Jesus Cry or that drinking tea with sugar in it will cause the apocalypse ? 

        And by the way you do know that your Linux still thinks it is running on a teleprinter, right? Now there's an analogy with central government for you!

        • Our gubmint just takes our cash anyway whether they need it or not.

          I am of course assuming the "correct" route.  Tor is available to Linux too?  😈

      • The reason I have Mint as my backup OS is because it at least recognised my keyboard and my laptop's wifi card which none of the other major distros did or did happily. Didn't want to talk to my printer though and it and my cellphone would be better off as penpals. TBH it doesn't feel like linux has progressed much beyond serial ports let alone USB 1.0. Two tin cans and a bit of string might be an improvement. Oh before any of the fanbois whine, yes I could fire up Vim and get it to work….but life is too short to peel a penguin when Win7 does everything I want it to and was free (it fell off the back off a pirate ship, Guv, honest!).

  2. ……Eddie Hobbs who is an irritating little man from Cork….

    My experience is that ALL men from Cork are irritating.  And Dublin… and… etc

    • Ah here now!!  ALL men?  I hope you're not including Wicklow in there?  I grant you that all SMALL men are irritating where they hail from…….

  3. Too funny too funny

    We want to create a new Irish political party, a party that changes the way we do politics. This party will champion human inventiveness.

    We want a new party because the others won't let us in.

    Get Involved/ Be A Candidate (the tight bastards use the same copy on both pages)

    Ireland needs a new outlook and a new vision, you can be part of this journey to a better Ireland.
    It's just called Rockall where there us fuckall.

    Building An Economy for Entrepreneurs Across The Social, Private and Public Sectors
    Building a new economy that supports entrepreneurs, employees and consumers of small businesses.

    not the people note…not the people

    Make The Public Sector Public
    Fostering a spirit of entrepreneurism in our public sector that will reward those who work the hardest and deliver the best results for our public services.

    GOOD bringing the myth that the public commerce is somehow separate to the private commerce lie crashing to the ground…go for it girl.

    Give Politics Back To The People
    Creating a political system that supports freedom of thought, difference and independence.

    Come on if the people haven't got politics what the fuck has nicked 'em?

    Measuring Government With A Clear Social Target
    Underpin Irish society through fiscal and social policy with a targeted Minimum Lifestyle Standard.

    again people not mentioned…are there any people left upon the land called Ireland?

    • What we have here is a wannabe political party formed out of rejects from other political parties which will end up as a precise clone of the current lot.

      They are forming because the electorate are demanding change.  What they don't realise is that we want a complete change from the grossly corrupt and avaricious system we have at the moment, and not more of the same under a different name.

      Thy are full fo grandiose aspirations but fuck all in the way of policies.  If they get as far as actually forming a party they will doubtless pick up a seat or two in the next election after which they will vanish without trace.  [I give you the Progressive Democrats and the Green Party!!]

  4. I read that as "Reboo Tireland," and wondered where the fuck Tireland is. Then down later I saw your suggestion to Reforma Tireland, and again, I wondered where Tireland is. Then I read it all again and considered context.

    So where the fuck is "Ireland?" I've heard of it.

  5. Let's just party and not form parties or support parties. If one was mischievous one could try to gatecrash a new party's website and play satirical party games.

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