There seems to be a perception in the Great Wide World that retirement means boredom.

I have lost count of the sites I have seen giving lists of activities for me to pursue while I wait for the Grim Reaper.  They all promote much the same activities.

Join a local Bridge Club?  Fuck that.  The local Poker Club, maybe, but I tried to learn Bridge once and I found it a boring game.  If I want to play a game of cards [apart from Poker], I’ll go for 110.  Unfortunately no one else seems to have heard of the game so I’d have to teach ‘em all which is too much like hard work.

Join a local Bowls Club?  Again, fuck that.  There isn’t one.  And I have no intention of starting one.  Anyway there isn’t enough flat land around here to accommodate one.

Join a Writers Group?  No fucking chance.  Can’t write and don’t intend to start.  And anyway my second book has stalled again so writing just mustn’t be my thing.

Join an Archery Club?  Now you’re talking.  Unfortunately they insist on only shooting at boring targets, so that’s out.

Help out with a local charity?  Hah!  I AM the local charity and no one helps me.

The list is as tedious as it is endless. 

There is one tiny fact that they all tend to overlook though.

I just don’t have time for any of these Wrinkly Pursuits.

I’m much too busy.

In fact, I don’t even time to write this piece of whimsy.

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Wrinkly Pursuits — 10 Comments

    • I really would love to set the country to rights, but I just don't have the spare time.  More important things to do……

  1. You forgot a few wrinkly activities. In New Jersey they just arrested a 75 year old on prostitution charges. He had been acting as pimp suppling his neighbor with "activities". 

  2. Oh, never mind all these "Wrinkly Pursuits". Live well, cause as much trouble as you can with the time you have left, die with your boots on and let them find you face down in the dirt with your arse in the air. That should tell them something anyway.

    • That is precisely what I intend to do.

      "face down in the dirt with your arse in the air."  You forgot to mention planting a tulip in it?

      • "You forgot to mention planting a tulip in it? " Kind of hard to do when you're already dead. And I'm not offering to do it for you as that pushes the idea of friendship a bit too far?

  3. Been away down Daytona fer a few days piss up. You're dead on with those new low flow fucking devices. Put one in last week. Piece of shit. Won't flush shit down. Or anything else.

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