I fucking hate ice-cream vans.
Why is it that they can’t play a proper tune? Why does it have to be that ghastly racket that sounds like it’s played on something from the Pound Shop?
It used to be Greensleeves that they massacred. Now it’s the theme tune from Match of the Day. If they think that aligning themselves with soccer is going to make me feel like buying an ice-cream, they are from another fucking planet.
Some cunt has decided to drag his jingly little van around the periphery of the village every now and then.
I’m just waiting for a clear shot.