More discoveries about Penny.

She is the laziest dog I have ever met.  Has anyone else ever seen a dog that lies down to eat?

Cream or Asparagus Soup followed by
Filet Mignon.

She is now very happy with the car but insists on travelling on the back seat.  I hate back seat drivers.

She is not as obedient as I thought.  She proved this by haring off up the road after another dog despite my calls.  I discovered that I can run faster than I thought I could.

She hates the hose.  I now hose her down each time she goes in the lake.  Sooner or later she’ll put two and two together.

She is a great watchdog.  She attacked the grandchilder yesterday when they called unannounced.  That’ll teach ‘em.

She bears grudges.  I hosed her down apres lac about an hour ago.  She’s still hiding in the long grass.

Her idea of affection is to suddenly appear out of nowhere and jump on my lap.  As the laptop is often there, she has fucked up more documents than I care to think about.  She can’t spell for nuts.

She is utterly confused by her own legs.  She doesn’t know what to do with them most of the time and she tends to sleep with them sticking out at very strange angles.

Where did that paw under her ear come from?

The adventure continues.

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Lazy back seat driver — 8 Comments

  1. My wife and I have a cat that eats like that.  He’s pushing 18 pounds (how many stone would that be?)  Sometimes we’ll put the food just out of reach for him so he’ll get some exercise walking the 6 inches to get to it.  Oh, we’re so cruel to him!  Before anyone asks, yes, he is on a diet.  He’s lost a bit more than a pound!

  2. Patrick – Does the name Garfield ring a bell?  Does he have a fondness for lasagna?

    Cat – Would you like her?  I’m sure she wouldn’t be too hard to post.

    tt – Lame indeed!  Heh!

  3. You took my advice about using the hose apres lac then?  If it doesn’t cure her of jumping in it at least it helps to keep the carpet clean.

  4. Sean – The hose works a treat.  If I lather her up really well, she can shampoo the carpets when she comes in and rolls on the floor.  Mind you, she really goes into a powerful sulk after a hosing.  It was two hours before she finally emerged from the long grass after today’s wash down.

  5. The gentleman who allows us to share his house is a collie X kelpie whose grasp of English is remarkable. Say, “bath” and he pisses off for hours. Say,”time for an oil and filter change, you scrofulous little bugger”, and he does exactly the same … I think it’s in the tone of voice or something ..

  6. If you want to see lazy eaters, look at Texel sheep. Quite a few simply amble over to a tasty patch of grass, and lie down. When they’ve eaten everything in reach, they stand up, take one single step, and lie back down again.

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