Accurate forecasting

Head Rambles Posted on by

Yesterday was a bit of a disaster.

I had one of my early awakenings on Friday night at around three. I found myself wide awake with no chance of sleeping on so I got dressed.

I then discovered there was no power. Fuck! There was a bit of a wind outside so a tree must have fallen somewhere.

I spent a while groping around in the dark finding first my phone [to use as a torch] and then collecting oil lamps. Then of course I had to find fuel for the lamps. More groping.

I eventually relaxed in my armchair by lamplight and actually fell asleep again. I woke again at nine. Still no power. Fuck again! I hauled out the camping stove to boil some water for tea. I discovered that the regulator had come loose and the gas had all escaped. The cylinder was empty. Fuck yet again!

So Herself and I spent the day gagging for tea. No sign of power returning.

By mid afternoon I had had enough. I headed off looking for a replacement gas cylinder. I knew they were hard to get so I went to the shop where I had bought the current one. Discovered the shop didn’t exist any more. More fuck! Decided to try a camping shop I knew of a few miles away. Parking there was a nightmare but eventually I got to the shop. They didn’t have the right type. I tried the car accessory shop next door. No, they didn’t have them but recommended another place which was a couple of hundred yards from the first place I had been to! Fuckity fuck! Drove back again. There was a very helpful chap there who informed me that my cylinder was now obsolete and he was out of stock anyway. I had used up all my fucks by this stage.

I decided to give up and go home. By this stage it was late dusk. I was a couple of hundred yards from home when suddenly the local houses lit up. Great! Power was back. I put on the kettle as soon as I got in.

Later I decided to make my bean stew. I chucked half a dozen tins of beans in a saucepan and made up a grand wodge of mashed potato [with lashings of butter] while the beans were heating. It was all delicious.

Later I could feel my stomach fermenting. Them beans is deadly yokes. Sure enough I was the first to crack one off. The first of many.

Storm Darragh had finally arrived.

 

The Daily Digest

Head Rambles Posted on by

I like to keep life simple.

As part of this process we tend to rely fairly heavily on takeaways or pre-processed food.

Tesco have a fair range of stuff that can just be popped in the oven. The quality however generally leaves a little to be desired. We only order them in an emergecy.

SuperValu are a lot better quality wise. However their range is fairly limited.

Dunnes have a very large range in their “Cook at Home” section. a lot are of the stir-fry nature and the only criticism I can level is that the portions are a bit small. To get a reasonably decent plateful I would have to use one pack per person where the packs are plainly marked “2 portions”. They must be intended for mice? Leastwise Dunnes have been our first port of call for quite a while.

And then we made a discovery.

Many moons ago I ordered a brochure from Wiltshire Farm Foods. We never did anything about it though and now I can’t find the brochure.

A couple of weeks ago we took the plunge and ordered a few meals off the Web. They do have a minimum spend on deliveries but all their stuff is frozen so stockpiling is limited only by space. I discovered that they deliver to this area on a Wednesday and so long as I get my order in by three on the previous day all is grand.

The first meal we tried was Roast Lamb in Honey and Mint Sauce. It came in a partitioned tray with mashed potato and veg in the other slots. It was fucking mighty! That one is definitely down for a repeat.

On the following days we had Hearty Irish Stew, Beef Bourguinon and Savoury Minced Beef. They were really good but not quite the stuff of the roast lamb.

We got a larger delivery on Wednesday. Loads more roast lamb of course. But last night we decided on Roast Beef. Now this little beauty comes in an extra deep tray and consists of roast beef in gravy, Yorkshire pudding with roast potatoes and a mix of carrots peas and beans. Instead of eating out of the tray, I tipped it out onto a plate which was only just big enough. It was a very generous meal. The beef was so tender it just broke up under the fork and the rest were cooked to perfection. I might add that all meals go straight to the oven from the freezer so no forgetting to thaw a dinner. The roast beef took 45 minutes and it was worth waiting for. It was only fucking massive!

I don’t know why I’m scribbling this stuff. I’m not getting paid or even getting a freebie. I’m too nice for my own good, giving free advertising. Credit where credit is due though.

I’m taking a break from ready stuff tonight. I plan on Bean Stew. This is partly because I’m over stocked on tins of various breeds of beads beans and partly because I want to use up some potatoes. Lots of mash [made of course with lashings of butter].

It’s a simple meal to prepare.

The aftermath can be quite noisy and odorous though…..

 

Yet another

Head Rambles Posted on by

This is rather tedious.

had yet another hospital appointment yesterday.

This one was in St James’s Hospital which is in a very awkward corner of Dublin and of course was timed to clash with the rush hour. It took me an hour and a half just to get there.

Luckily my fortunes changed then. I had barely sat down when my name was called. I got a load of dirty looks from the crowded waiting room as I walked out. Last in, first out. Tough shit, lads.

This was a consultation meeting which at least meant that I had no needles stuck in me and involved no massive machinery. It just involved me and the two plastic surgeons who are responsible for supplying me with some sort of artificial nose.

I barely said a word. The two lads spent the short meeting just chatting between themselves, peering at a screen which I gather showed the results of my last week’s CT scan and throwing the odd glance in my direction. I honestly have no idea why I was there at all.

After about ten minutes of ignoring me they agreed that I should go ahead with surgery. This is to insert two pins into me. These pins I gather are to run from the roof of my mouth up into the nasal cavity. That sounds lovely? Even better, the pins will have magnets attached which means my new nose will just clip into place. I’m a little concerned at this concept. Will I have to avoid the kitchen in case all the cutlery and everything else metallic will suddenly attaches itself to my face? Can I walk past iron railings without getting my face stuck to them? The two lads never mentioned the potential side effects.

So I apparently have to wait until the new year for this surgery and then another three or so months before I get my nose. In the meantime I just carry on living with a hole in my face.

It took well over an hour to get home again.

They could have just phoned me?

 

Gimme your money

Head Rambles Posted on by

Last Friday was so called “Black Friday”.

This is yet another abomination that was spawned in America, along with “Trick or Treat”, Jazz, burgers and a general mangling of the English language. The apparent fascination with all things American baffles me. Sadly, the concept is seen here as an ideal excuse to try to part us from our hard earned cash.

Anyhows, you notice I said LAST Friday? Yes, it is gone. It’s history. It is deceased and in the past. Yet they still waffle on about the amazing offers of shit with their “Black Friday” sales. Any fucking excuse to attempt to empty our wallets into their coffers. I have even seen advertisements talking about “Black Friday Week”! How can one day be a fucking week?

There are those though who do realise that Friday has gone so they waffle on about “Cyber Monday” instead. Again that is another bit of tat imported from across the Atlantic, and it also is history. Americans have so much to answer for.

There is another strange phenomenon I have noticed in current advertising. Last year we were inundated with ads promising us the Perfect Christmas. I never really understood what a perfect Christmas was supposed to be. Surely we must endeavour to make any day perfect or at the very least try to avoid a nightmare of a day? Anthows this year they have dropped the Perfect bit and almost with one voice they promise us a Magical Christmas. I’m not sure quite what this means either.

I suppose there are people who are thick enough to believe that if they don’t subscribe to a particular mobile phone service or purchase a different body soap that somehow Christmas will be ruined. If that’s the case then the future for mankind is indeed grim. Though I live in the hopes that it’s only the copywriter’s jaundiced view of society that is seriously off kilter.

I didn’t buy anything on Black Friday or indeed on Cyber Monday. Equally I am under no illusion that my Christmas will be totally ruined if I don’t buy a new suite of sitting room furniture.

I’ll buy something if I need it, not because someone tells me I need it.