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Let sleeping dogs lie

Head Rambles Posted on by

When we first got Penny, we let her sleep on the couch in the back room.

Everything was fine.

Then one night we made an exception and let her sleep on the couch in the front room.

Everything was fine.

Then one night we made an exception and let her sleep on the floor in the bedroom.

Everything was fine.

Then one night I made an exception and let her sleep on the foot of my bed.

Everything was beginning to be not so fine.

Now I have to ask her fucking permission to get into bed.

The usual trick is that she comes in while I am undressing and will plonk herself firmly in the middle of the bed, grinning at me all the time.  So when it comes to actually getting into bed I have to hoosh her over a bit.  This isn't quite so easy as it may sound as her game is to be as stubborn as possible.  I can shove her with my hands or my knees – it makes no difference, and I might as well be trying to shift a sack of potatoes.  Strangely though, if I tickle her ribs she shoots in the air like a scalded cat, giving me a chance to grab my rightful place.

It actually works very well.  Once I am stretched down the middle of the bed, she stretches out alongside and gently shoves her spine into mine.  Sometimes she curls into a ball behind my knees which is fine until I decide to turn over whereupon she usually shoots onto the floor.

She does have one rather disconcerting trick where she somehow manages to gain territory during the night.  Maybe she waits until I move an inch or two and then grabs that space?  Whatever she does, she does it without waking me. Usually I wake up with her in the middle and me perched on the edge of the bed.  I haven't fallen off yet, but I suppose it's just a matter of time.

She is remarkably considerate.  If she wakes before I do, she will lie there very quietly waiting for my eyes to open and only then will the tail start lashing as we start a new day.

This state of affairs works very well.  She has ony woken me early on a couple of occasions – once when she felt a bit sick and once when a bloke delivered a parcel to the front door.  He was considerate enough not to ring the door bell but Penny's sudden bark nearly gave me a heart attack.

She's fast asleep on the couch across from me as I type this.

I think I'll push her off.

See how she likes it?

 

Comments

Let sleeping dogs lie — 26 Comments

  1. We have a cat like that. Will never sit on you, but is determined to gain her space at night. Only wakes around 3.30, 5.00 and again at about 7.00., so no problem there. And of course she wails each time, demands food, and often hisses loudly when the postman arrives. Hates visitors and usually disappears if the doorbell rings. Just a normal part os the family really.

  2. Sounds exactly like me and my lovely wife. Every time she moves, so do I. So the end result is she has no space whatsoever and I have tons of space behind me. I am, as they say, the snuggle-monster.

    What you need to do is get a bigger bed.

  3. Life without a dog is possible – but it's just not worth it. 😉

    My dog never gets on / in the bed, wouldn't dream of it. My late cat was another matter, entirely. But, oh, how I loved her to lie next to my pillow with her little head inside my hand. I miss her thoroughly. And I miss how the two of them, dog and cat, made me laugh all the time because of their beautfiul little games about who was boss. Cat won every time. Dog is such a gentleman. 😉

    • Jack Dee had an old gag which I loved –

      Man putting up shelf.  Cat walks past and with a sniff says "It'll fall down".  Dog sits and says "I don't know what he's doing but I know he'll do it right".

      Sums up cats and dogs nicely?

  4. I've always wondered how dogs and cats manage to make themselves so enormously heavy once they're on the bed – or anywhere they don't want to move, for that matter.  Our dog is relatively small, but on the few occasions we have to shove her out of the way (like to get onto the sofa, for example, when she's stretched out on it already) she somehow makes herself weigh an absolute ton.  She can even pull this trick off with just her head when she's relaxing on her bed or the sofa and we want to take her collar off, but she doesn't want to have to move even a fraction because she's comfy.  Suddenly, her head seems to be stuck to the sofa like she's laying on Superglue!

    Claudia:  Time to get yourself another pusscat to keep your doggie (and you) company, methinks!!

    • During waking hours, our Penny weighs around 20 kilos.  At night she weighs around 80.

      There are two things that Penny will not do under any circumstances.  She will not sit in the front of the car and she will not sit on someone's lap.  For some unknown reason, both rules are cast in stone.  I have no idea why. 

  5. I have two dogs.  One weighs 45 kilos and the other 35.  No bloody way are they allowed on the bed!  They take umbrage if I kneel on theirs so fair dos! They have fluffy padded doggy beds dotted round the house both upstairs and downstairs to occupy at their whim yet every morning they lie like two abandonded waifs outside the bedroom door.  I ain't falling for it!  They don't like sitting on the sofa unless there are a couple of humans already sitting on it.  Then they will happily sit on top of the humans.  That’s why they aren’t allowed in the bedroom!

    • Penny is a very gentle dog and still suffers a little from insecurity [she's a rescue dog so we don't know her full history].  She pines if I go out without her and constantly has to reassure herself that we are around.  The bed thing started just to stop her anxiety.  As I said – she may like to grab bed space but apart from that she wouldn't dream of disturbing me unless there is an emergency.  All she wants is reassurance and company.

      • Ah, yes!  Our big lad has separation anxiety.  That's why we got him a little pal.  It has helped, though she is braver than he is – totally fearless – whereas he tries to sit on my lap if a lorry or tractor goes past the house!  When he was on his own, we slept downstairs with him!?  (Yes!  We are nuts!!) 😀

        You are obviously Penny’s soul-mate. Tis a very special bond 🙂

        • A very special bond indeed.  Somewhat restrictive though as it limits my activities to those that can include a dog.   Not that I'm complaining. 

  6. I'm curious as to how you know she wakes up and is considerate? Is it not possible that you initiate your wake up sequence which wakes her up and the rest of the time she is just fast asleep? I've found animals have fast boot up times and wake up quickly while we are slower to wake up and our brains are still trying to select 1st for a short period.

    I like to understand things.

    • I can lie for a period with my eyes closed [as one does if one is sensible] and there won't be a move or a squeak out of her.  Other times I have barely opened one eye and she's on the floor beside the bed quietly sitting and waiting.  Once I open my eyes or make a move though – she's off with the tail wags!

  8. We also have a cat that does the same type of thing. Unfortunately he's huge. Not fat, just naturally huge, full of muscle, and weighs in at 20 pounds. He also has very large paws with long curved claws that he just loves to hold onto the bed  with. Couple that with a very gentle, loving and cuddling nature he's almost impossible to heave him anywhere once he falls asleep between us.

    He's pushes my wife onto the floor more than once. Good thing for the cat she can't shoot straight immediately after hitting the floor.

    And, of course, he sneaks in between us after we've fallen asleep and lays his huge-ish self down thereby stealing our covers as well.

  9. When I'm playing music, my dog has a habbit of resting his paw on my tapping foot.  It slowly gets heavier as more of him slowly makes it's way across my feet.  It really cant be comfortable but a few photographers have what are probably some great pictures of his relaxation. I should add that I play the pipes!  People are surprised he wants to be in the same room.

    • Our Penny loves the coffee shop and tries to drag me in every time I pass by it.  The strange thing is that when she gets in there, her favourite position is to lie across the steel table legs which must be incredibly uncomfortable.

      And why wouldn't your dog enjoy the pipes?  He's obviously a cultured animal!

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