It is almost a rite of passage to be barred from a pub in Ireland.
Naturally this doesn't apply for under eighteens as it makes things too easy for the barkeep.
I lost my cherry soon after my eighteenth. If I remember correctly, it was because my hair was too long and the barman didn't like the look of me. Fair enough. I had passed the rite with flying colours.
Since then I have been barred from several pubs for various reasons, from being rowdy to bringing in an under eighteen girlfriend [she was actually 21 at the time]. My most memorable was for getting revenge on a rude barman by lining up three upside down pints on the bar counter which is a great trick. I respected all those barrings. They had their reasons, some were deserved and some weren't but they all had one thing in common – they all gave a reason.
So last weekend, Google decided to bar me from their linking yoke to Twitter. As far as I am concerned there was nothing extraordinary about the thing I was posting – no porn, no more than the usual outpouring of fucks [well, I was annoyed at the time], no inciting to violence or in fact anything out of the ordinary. Yet they decided to bar me.
Not only did they bar me, but they replaced every single link in my Twitter thingy in the past to point to their fucking site, giving their terms and conditions. It's like a judge showing the condemned man a book of law and telling him that's why he's being hanged. It's like being picked up by the scruff of the neck in a pub and being thrown out without a single word of explanation.
Now I see the links have been restored, again without a word of explanation. No apologies, no reasons, no nothing. No offers of compensation for loss of business or destroyed reputation. They didn't have the balls to tell me when they were cutting the links and they didn't have the guts to tell me when things were restored.
Unfortunately I haven't discovered a way to get at them with the upside down pint trick, though I would dearly love to.
I have done the next best thing.
I have barred them.