There are times when I honestly think we have joined Alice in Wonderland.

Items appear in the news and I seriously wonder about society’s sanity, or maybe it’s just me being an old codger who just can’t keep up with the times?

There’s an item in the news today about shit-balls appearing on Australia’s beaches. These balls apparently consist of a mixture of cooking oil and soap scum molecules, combined with blood pressure medication, pesticides, hair, methamphetamine and veterinary drugs. Blood pressure medicine and methamphetamine? Is this everyday diet for your average Australian? Really fucking weird.

However that snippet giving us an insight into the lives of your average Aussie was topped by another, coincidentally also from the same penal colony – Raygun retires from breaking after Olympic backlash.

My first reaction to this startling news was to wonder what the fuck “breaking” is. Is this a competitive sport where people throw dinner plates against a brick wall? And who or what is “Raygun”. I had a suspicion that my mental facuties were going to be stretched once more and I was right.

“Breaking”, it seems consists of writhing around on the floor in a series of moves that are neither dance nor a sport. And they are actually calling this an Olympic event? Fortunately I note that it was only an “event” in Paris, hopefully for the first and last time in history. How did they allow it in in the first place? How is it judged? What the fuck is it? I can’t even understand how they allowed it in in the first place.

I will be totally honest here.

If I saw her in action, my first reaction would be to phone for an ambulance…

And I’d tell them to hurry.