My numerous deaths
I suppose it’s something a lot of people do at my time of life.
I have been thinking of old friends and school mates and wondering what ever happened to them.
One of the first names I looked up was my old friend Johnny. We were quite inseparable in secondary school and used to pal around in the evenings. He lived in a massive house in Rathfarham and it was there that I first drove a car – Johnny had an old banger he used to drive around in the field next to his house. We also learned the joys of smoking in the chicken shed behind his house. Sadly we parted company after finishing school and never caught up. I Googled him, and sadly he died after an illustrious career.
I looked up a few more names that I remembered from school. I either couldn’t find them or where I did find them they were dead.
It did occur to me that someone else I used to know might try the same trick on me. I put in my own name and Google started churning out its findings.
The first thing I discovered is that I am quite famous. My top claim to fame is my exploits in the First and Second World Wars, for which I was awarded the Distinguished Service Order and the Military Medal. Sadly, I died.
I was also killed in the World Trade Centre.
I have published numerous books on psychology but happily I’m still alive.
Apparently I have done well in Academia, having numerous professorships, but most of me are dead.
In fact most of the mentions are of funerals and obituaries. I seem to have died a lot.
I did actually find the real me, down at the bottom page three. There was a link to an article in the Irish Independent [modesty forbids that I provide a link] where there is an article about the real me. I bet none of my old classmates will find that.
Happily I seem to still be alive.
I seemed to have discover Australia. Funny I don’t remember being there. I think I will stay away from Hawaii. I also was a Sargent in the Air force, but was never a Captain in British navy. It seem as usually the interwebs gets most things wrong.
James Cook
Upon reading this I Googled my own name…
…I don’t exist.